


pigeon

by kiyotakas



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kinda, M/M, Mentions of Starvation, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Hatred, Threats of Violence, again. ishida, and taka is autistic, but like. not big enough to go in the ships tag, descriptions of danganronpa executions, i use they/them for syo but it’s just a personal headcanon, implied Celesgiri, it’s taka central babes!, just a little from ishida, mirror breaking, really complicated and convoluted headcanon about taka and kyoko being siblings, she/her for chihiro, takas blaming himself for deaths but what else is new, until a certain chapter, “major character death” it’s danganronpa what else do you expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22513891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyotakas/pseuds/kiyotakas
Summary: Kiyotaka kneeled on the floor, feeling like he’s drifting between a state of consciousness and unconsciousness. Distantly he hears sobbing and wailing, and it’s not until he finally feels the hot tears roll down his cheeks does he realize that,oh,that’s him.He should probably stop, but he can’t find it in himself to even try.[CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN - 11/26/20CURRENT CHAPTERS REWRITTEN - 9/11 - 1/29/2021]
Relationships: Asahina Aoi & Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Genocider Syo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Hagakure Yasuhiro, Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Kirigiri Kyoko, Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Naegi Makoto, Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Ogami Sakura, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, that’s a weird one i know
Comments: 62
Kudos: 260





	1. didn’t give me time to say goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> hi! welcome to the fic that was spawned in december when i went on a really long rant about how taka should’ve lived  
> chapters should be posted fairly regularly as i have a lot written in advance. as in 22k words in advance. it’s gonna be a long one  
> some notes if you didn’t read the tags:  
> -i have a headcanon where taka and kyoko are siblings. don’t know how it started but i’m integrating that into this fic  
> -depiction of mondo’s execution scene halfway thru where the italics start  
> -and throwing up soon after that
> 
> the title of the fic n chapter is from “pigeon” by cavetown which. really fits taka after mondos execution

Kiyotaka kneeled on the floor, feeling like he’s drifting between a state of consciousness and unconsciousness. Distantly he hears sobbing and wailing, and it’s not until he finally feels the hot tears roll down his cheeks does he realize that, _oh,_ that’s him. 

He should probably stop, but he can’t find it in himself to even try.

He should probably get off the ground too.

He should probably...he doesn’t know at this point, he doesn’t know what to do. He can’t form any coherent thoughts besides _Mondo, Mondo, Mondo-_

“Taka?” Awareness slowly comes back to him at the call of his name. He can feel his fingers digging into the concrete of the floor, wet with his tears. It’s rough on his skin, little bumps digging into his arms and legs, but he can’t seem to care at the moment. “Taka...I’m sorry, but we need to leave.”

Ever so slowly, he registers that it’s Aoi talking to him. 

He doesn’t want to...he doesn’t want to go. For the first time in his life he seems content on not getting up, just staying there- gasping as his loud wails have turned into hiccuping sobs.

He feels himself being pulled up by strong arms, and for a second he thinks that this has just been a joke. That Mondo is right there behind him, grinning, because _I can’t believe you fell for that, Kyoudai-_

Then, he sees the bandaged, scarred, arms wrapped around him. The long, white hair spilling onto his shoulders. 

“Do not worry, Asahina.” _It’s just Sakura. It wasn’t him- of course it wasn’t him, he’s-_ “I will assist you in taking him to his room.”

He bites his lip to keep himself from sobbing more than he already has, eyes finally focusing. He can see Aoi’s sympathetic gaze, followed by a nod. Sakura sets him on his feet, and though it feels like his knees could buckle at any second- he stands.

Kiyotaka keeps his head down as Sakura and Aoi gently direct him to his room, not even blinking when they dig around his pockets for his key.

He’s guided to his bed, and he finally lets his legs stop working as he drops onto it. _Mondo was laying here last night...does it still smell like him?_ He finds at least a little comfort when he finds that it does. 

“What now?” It’s Aoi again- he didn’t realize they were still here. He wants to tell her that she can leave, that she shouldn’t waste her time comforting him...but he can’t find the strength to speak at the moment.

“We should probably keep watch of him, there’s no telling what could happen to him in this state.” _Please...just leave me here alone...I don’t deserve your kindness, not after failing to save them…_

Aoi stuck out her bottom lip, her finger tapping her chin. “I get that. I just wish we could do something to make him feel at least a little better.”

Sakura hummed. “I do as well, but there is nothing we can do right now. What has happened as deeply affected him. I don’t doubt that he’ll be like this for awhile.”

Kiyotaka curled in on himself as they continued talking, his hand clutching the thick cover on his bed. He dug his face into the blanket, inhaling the scent. This was all that was left of him...all he had left of him.

_I could’ve stopped him. If only I’d pushed harder for us to reveal our secrets ourselves this wouldn’t have happened. Chihiro would still be alive- Mondo would still be alive. It’s all my fault-_

A knock at the door stopped his thoughts. Aoi bounced over to the door as he clutched the sheet ever tighter, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t want more people here...and though a voice deep in the back of his head told him how selfish he was being, he ignored it in favor of the numb feeling spreading and tightening over his chest, down to his stomach.

“Oh, Kyoko?” Kiyotaka’s eyes snapped open at that- but he made no effort to move.

He could hear Kyoko hum, though the noise around him was growing fuzzy. “Apologies, but Naegi asked for you two to meet him in the dining hall right away.”

He could barely hear Aoi’s exclamation, or Sakura’s goodbye. But as the door clicked shut behind them, he could feel his senses start to come back. He startled as a hand rested on his shoulder, eyes darting to Kyoko- who had stayed behind.

“I figured you wouldn’t want many people crowding around you.” He nodded ever so slightly. “I...I’m sorry it turned out this way. I didn’t want to believe it was him at first, for your sake.”

He clutched harder at the blanket, and he felt as if he grabbed it any tighter it would tear. He sniffed, just once, trying to build a metaphorical dam to block the water building in his eyes.

They sat in an uneasy silence for a moment, until Kyoko spoke up again.

“He’d want you to keep going, right? To be the same unstoppable, motivational force you always are. I want you to too, of course. But, right now...I’d say it’s alright to crumble, just a bit. Break down a little now, and build yourself back up later. Let yourself break a little, Kiyotaka.”

So, he did. 

He sobbed, even though he felt like he couldn’t possibly have any tears left to cry. “I just, I just want him ba-ack,” He stuttered out between sobs. Kyoko gently pulled him up into a hug, gloved hand rubbing up and down his back.

He dug his head into her, into his sister’s shoulder. 

He should stop crying. He’s getting her jacket wet. 

She seems to read his mind as she shushes him, holding onto him a little tighter. So, he pushes the thought out of his mind.

And he lets himself break, just a little.

_Kiyotaka hums contentedly, closing his eyes. He lay on top of the covers of his bed, hands interlocked over his stomach. He cracked an eye open as he felt rustling beside him, looking worriedly at a squirming Mondo._

_“Is everything alright, Kyoudai?” He asked. He should’ve pushed it more, should’ve- Mondo startled, turning to face Kiyotaka._

_“Shit- thought you were asleep.” He huffed._

_Kiyotaka smiled, even at the cursing. “No, I’m still awake. Not for a lack of trying, though! I just seem to be...a little restless tonight. It seems Monokuma’s motive is getting to me more than I would like it to.” He barely saw Mondo wince in the corner of his eye, though he assumed he was just as worried about his secret. He should’ve noticed it, he should’ve asked him._

_“Yeah, me too, I guess.” Kiyotaka turned to fully face Mondo. “It’s just- fuck, ‘m kinda scared, not gonna lie.”_

_Kiyotaka nodded, reaching a hand out to grab onto Mondo’s shoulder. He saw a little red there, did he spill something? Did he get hurt? Did he hurt someone? He shook the thoughts out of his head. “It’s alright to be scared about this, Kyoudai! These are our deepest secrets after all! But don’t worry, I’m certain nobody would kill someone over this.”_

_Mondo smiled, it was forced it was forced he forced it for you “I guess yer right. There’s no way in hell these dumb secrets would work as a motive!” He’s lying, lying to reassure you._

_Kiyotaka smiled._

_But then, the room started to darken till it turned pitch black, Kiyotaka feeling dizzy as he felt the room warp around him. It warped and warped until-_

_No, no no no no no- he was back here, back in front of the cage, the fence between him and Mondo gone._

_He could see him, could see him melting down and screaming as Kiyotaka began to scream too, begging Monokuma to stop it- stop it- this isn’t funny- he’s melting away, more and more until-_

Kiyotaka jolts awake.

He sits in a daze for a bit, until he suddenly jumps up and rushes to the bathroom beside his bed. 

He drops down onto his knees, barely making it to the toilet in time as he retches. Tears make their way down his face as he clutches onto the porcelain. He’s so pathetic, he can’t even get through the night without thinking about the execution-

He gags once more, eventually standing up on wobbly legs. He slowly walks back into the dark room, sitting down roughly on his bed. He glanced at the clock hanging above him.

_6:45 am ...I guess I fell asleep while Kyoko was comforting me._

He looked around his room. It felt...impossibly empty. It’s empty, and cold, and lonely without him-

His eyes land on the room key set on the little table in the middle of the room. _They must of returned it…_

He has time to kill before the meeting...but he doesn’t want to be sitting alone with his thoughts at the moment.

He doesn't really want to go to the meeting either but...it’s better than that. He foregoes putting on a fresh uniform, he can’t really be bothered to at this point. He grabs the key off the table, shoving it in his pocket, and he opens the door.

The walk to the dining hall seems to take forever, though he supposes that’s his own fault. He’s noticed his movements have been slower ever since-

“Hey, Ishimaru-chi!” Kiyotaka’s head snaps up, eyes connecting with Yasuhiro before hastily turning to look at something else, anything else. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here so early, huh?”

_Respond to him. He’s trying to make you feel better and you’re just standing there-_

Yasuhiro doesn’t seem to be put off by the lack of response, though. “Honestly, I couldn’t sleep last night so I just wandered around the school until I ended up here.” Kiyotaka nodded slightly, slowly moving to sit next to the older boy. He couldn’t find the energy to reply, so it was all he could do at the moment.

He sits there in silence, staring at his hands rested in his lap, until Hiro speaks up again. “I’m uh, I’m real sorry about what happened yesterday. Even I can tell you’re pretty torn up about it.” He huffed. “Believe it or not, I can understand what you’re goin’ through. If you ever wanna talk about it, or hey, even get a reading, I’m all ears- and for free too! Consider it a ‘best friend of Yasuhiro Hagakure’ special!”

Kiyotaka smiled a bit to match Hiro’s grin. _A friend...another friend._

_He can’t. His only friend here has died- because of him- he can’t do that to anyone else. Distance yourself and soon they won’t bother trying to help you._

The smile fell off Kiyotaka’s face as he turned back to silently stare at the table in front of them. Distantly, he could hear the morning announcement play. The silent dining hall began to fill with noise as everyone else showed up.

_Aoi is missing...is it because of me? Because she helped me?_

He can vaguely hear Sakura tell them that Aoi just has a stomachache, and the noise around him steadily grew fuzzy, but a voice breaks through it.

“It's times like this where the committee chairman needs to get things going with a BANG!” Hiro yelled out, turning towards Kiyotaka. He should reply, he really should, but he just can’t…

He continues to stare at the table as conversation fills the room once again. He glances up to see Genocider Syo burst into the room, causing the doors to bounce off the walls.

_If only it really was them that did it…_

Kiyotaka’s eyes widen a fraction as he forces the thought out of his head. He couldn’t wish what Mondo went through upon anyone, that would be terribly selfish of him. 

He looks up again to see that everyone had left the room. Well, everyone but one person.

Kyoko stood beside him. “I figured you had zoned out on the conversation so I opted to stick behind and fill you in.” Kiyotaka nodded as a way of thanking her. “We’re going to investigate the 3rd floor and meet back up here. Are you up to it?”

Kiyotaka nodded again, still not finding it in him to speak. He slowly stood up, legs still shaking from this morning. Kyoko stood beside him as he made his way up the stairs, arms slightly positioned up behind him to catch him if his legs finally gave out.

They finally got to the 3rd floor, Kyoko turning to him. “I’ll leave you to investigate on your own, as you probably want to be alone right now. But, if you need anything, come find me okay?” Kiyotaka nodded, and Kyoko swiftly turned around and walked away.

He didn’t know where to start...even though they were at each other’s throats at the time, he had investigated the 2nd floor with Mondo…

_Stop it._

He turned left, opposite of Kyoko, and walked down the hallway. He passed rooms labeled ‘art room’ and ‘rec room’, but none of them particularly caught his eye. 

He kept walking until he found a large, rounded grey door. He looked up to see it marked as “physics”. _This could have something noteworthy…_

He stepped in, immediately running into someone. He stepped back and attempted to apologize, but-

“Oh well, well, well, well! If it isn’t Tick Tock!” _Tick Tock? Never mind, what is Syo doing here?_ “Aw, did you follow little ol’ me in here? Tryna get the jump on me, huh!?”

He rapidly shook his head side to side, still finding himself unable to speak. “Ohhh? Why aren’t ya speaking? Got something to hide? Precious wittle hall monitor got a diwrty wittle secwet?” They continued on, poking at Kiyotaka’s chest. He backed up, tears forming in his eyes.

Syo stopped their assault, raising an eyebrow. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop. To be honest, you’re acting like cranky ol’ Toko after I let slip my scissors into some cutie!” They pause to cackle wildly. 

“And, although you may barely slide into the ‘cute boy’ requirement of my victims, I made a promise to not kill anyone here. Plus it’d be no fun to kill you while you’re all depressed. How ‘bout we make a deal! We search this place together! I’ll look around in that dusty lookin’ room-“ They pointed their hand to a room off to the side. “And you look out here, and when we get out of this shitshow- I don’t kill you! Okay? Okay!”

Kiyotaka rapidly nodded his head, and they bounded off to the room, cackling. _Did I just make a deal with a serial killer?_ Kiyotaka shook his head, looking around the room. On a table there was a camera with some bright cartoon character, was that Hifumi’s? Why was it here?

He froze as he heard the door open, watching Makoto walk through. Makoto looked around the lab, eyes landing on Kiyotaka. “Hey, Taka. Don't you think this place is like some kind of research institute?” He asked, a small smile on his face.

_Reply to him, reply to him-_

Makoto still smiled, though it looked a little smaller and sadder as he looked away from Kiyotaka. 

_Why can’t you just talk to people? Why can’t you get over this? You’re so selfish-_

Kiyotaka jumped a little as Monokuma popped up, screaming “Watch out!”

Makoto jumped as well, though a bit more dramatically. “Wh-What?”

Monokuma smiled, or as much as he could smile with his permanent, razor-sharp smile. “What, you wanna do some quantum leaping!?”

Distantly, he could hear Makoto ask what he meant. _Quantum leaping…?_

Monokuma laughed. “That's a time machine! Pretty awesome, right? It was designed by a student right here at Hope's Peak! The Ultimate Physicist... Although, they don't go here anymore. They died during The Tragedy!” _The Tragedy? Never mind..This was...this was perfect. He could…_

Kiyotaka spoke up, throat raw and scratchy, voice cracking. “A time machine…?” He winced a little. “Seriously...? So...it can go back in time...?” He could do it, he could- “Okay, then...let me get in there... If I can go back to the past...then I can…” Tears gathered around his eyes, threatening to fall at any minute.

“This time I'll stop Mondo for sure--!”

“Oh, sorry, not possible!” Monokuma yelled out, interrupting Kiyotaka. _What..?_ “This particular time machine can only go back one minute. It comes in handy when you, like...leave your pizza bagels in the microwave for one minute too long.”

Was he...was he serious? He couldn’t save him?

“One minute…?” He croaked out, tears now flowing freely down his face.

Monokuma tilted his head, almost innocently. “Hmmm...you sound disappointed!” He cackled. “But actually, I was lying about the whole thing anyway. There's no such thing as time machines!”

“What…?” He should’ve known. Deep in the back of his mind he knew Monokuma was lying, but he couldn’t push down the hope of being able to get Mondo back.

Monokuma continued talking to him and Makoto, but it all faded into the background. He had used up all his energy falling for Monokuma’s lies.

He just stood there, slightly swaying, clenching his fists.

Soon enough, he registers Monokuma leaving, and Makoto turns back to face Kiyotaka.

“God damn you...” Makoto huffs, looking back to Kiyotaka. “Listen, Taka… don’t blame yourself for what happened, okay? And- if you ever need to talk, you can talk to one of us.” He gives a smile and walks over to the side room, leaving Kiyotaka to stare at the floor.

_I couldn’t bother them like that…_

He goes back to his room, collapsing onto his bed. He’s forgotten that they’re supposed to meet up again, but, he supposes, they wouldn’t miss him.

His bed doesn’t smell like Mondo anymore.


	2. i miss the days when i was someone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what’s the update schedule for this? god only knows  
> i’m planning on every week but not on a specific day gjfjdhsh  
> this weeks chapter title is from “it’s not the same anymore” by rex orange county!

“Wake up, ya lazy bum!” Kiyotaka yelps, jumping up and falling off of his bed and onto the floor. “Well, as funny as it is to see ya fall all over yourself, you need to get up and get moving now!!”

Kiyotaka pushes himself up to find himself face to face with Monokuma, causing him to fall back. He furrowed his brows and gave the bear a glare, not forgetting the trick he pulled earlier.

“Aww, you still mad at little ol’ me? It was just a little joke! Honestly, you kids are way too sensitive.” Kiyotaka glared harder. “Alright, alright. I didn’t barge into this precariously unlocked room for no reason, though!”

Unlocked? He must’ve forgotten to lock it...it doesn’t matter, though. He doesn’t care if anybody tries to kill him at this point…

“Quit your moping an’ listen to me!!” Monokuma grabbed Kiyotaka by the shoulders and shook him. “Go to the gym right now! Or else!” He pulled back a stubby arm and claws shot out, right in front of Kiyotaka’s face.

Kiyotaka nodded and slowly stood up, legs still finding a way to shake. “Now that’s a good little moral compass! You get on going and I’ll see what those lazy, secret keeping kids are up to!”

Monokuma seemingly disappeared and for a moment, Kiyotaka considered defying his orders and just going back to sleep.

He sighed, he couldn’t do that. He threw his key onto the table and walked out of his room. _What did Monokuma mean by secret keeping?_ He hopes the others haven’t done anything to provoke the bear.

The walk to the gym is more of a blur than anything. It felt impossibly slow, yet also impossibly fast...his legs kept shaking the whole way, and his hands started to shake too.

When was the last time he ate? Does he even deserve to after…

Finally stepping inside the gym, he barely notices Byakuya and Syo- no it was Toko now- already standing there.

Byakuya snarked something at him, but he couldn’t make an effort to listen to him right now. In all honesty, he hadn’t really forgiven the other for what he did to Chihiro’s body.

All that confusion...everyone pointing their suspicion at him...just to make things more interesting?

And he knew all along, knew who the culprit was, played with them, played _Mondo-_

Even though he was so drained and so, so tired-

A little part of himself found a way to be mad at Byakuya.

But still, he pushed it down.

Then, slowly, the others started to fill into the room all conversing. Kyoko made her way to Kiyotaka’s side. And soon enough…

Monokuma popped up from behind the podium. “It looks like everyone's here! So then, let's get started!” He cheered.

Byakuya scoffed. “Come on, out with it. What kind of motive have you prepared for us this time?” Was he right? Was Monokuma really going to give them another motive? He didn’t want to go through that again…

Sakura stood strong. “Whatever you subject us to, we will not break.”

Aoi bounced at her side, giving Monokuma a hard glare. “Yeah, that's right! We're not gonna lose to you ever again!”

They’re right...if he just makes an effort to stop it, nothing bad could happen again. He won’t let anyone get hurt because of him, not again.

Monokuma giggled. “Puhuhu... You don't have to get so defensive. Calm down! I've decided to change things up a bit this time. Up till now, I've been using the WOOSH of the North Wind to get you all moving.” _What…?_ “But sometimes you gotta use the Sun to light a fire under someone's butt! Ahh-hahaha! So without further ado, I give you...THIS!”

Stacks of money began to fall down from the roof, landing neatly into piles before Monokuma.

_Money..?_

“Ten million dollars! I've prepared this graduation present for whichever lucky student makes it out of here alive! Whaddya think? It's ten million bucks! Ten million smackaroos! It's like totally wowie wow wow, am I right!?”

Kiyotaka just stood there, staring at the bear. Did he honestly think that anyone here would be so greedy or selfish…?

Around him he can sense the others talking, though it’s grown fuzzy again.

_Would...would Mondo have done what he did if this was the motive?_

He wouldn’t, of course. Or would he? Did he really _know_ Mondo, during these few weeks? If he made more of an effort to get to know him better, would he trust him with his secret? If he had only just-

The night time announcement interrupts his troubling thoughts, leaving them unanswered. 

He wants to leave now, but he finds himself rooted to his spot, the others still talking around him. “Okay, okay, let's everyone just head back to our rooms! And don't think about that whole money thing! Got it? Good! Then let's break!” Yasuhiro shouts out. “...How was that? Pretty good, right Taka?”

_Respond to him...come on-_

“...Right.”

_Kiyotaka is sitting underneath a bright green tree, the shade cooling him down on the otherwise hot day._

_“Hey, Kyoudai!” He grins, straightening up, and turning towards the man coming toward him._

_“Hello, Kyoudai! What on Earth has taken you so long?”_

_Mondo sits next to him, leaning back on the tree. “Just thinking ‘bout some things, ya get me?” Kiyotaka nods. “I didn’t mean to keep ya waiting, though.”_

_Kiyotaka smiled gently. “Not to worry! I wasn’t waiting for long, I just got here a few minutes ago. How have you been?”_

_“Ah, I’ve been fine. Nothin’ bigs been happening with the gang- they do wanna see you again though. Guess ya left a pretty big impression on them.” He laughed as Kiyotaka grinned. “Honestly though? Never thought I’d say this but I kinda want school to start up again. It’s been lonely without you.”_

_“I’ve missed you as well. And I’d be honored to meet up with your gang again! I never thought I’d say this, but they really are good and hard working men. It seems I’ve misjudged a lot of things about you and your world.”_

_Mondo’s eyes were half lidded as he smiled softly at him. “Ah, shit, almost forgot-“ His eyes widened, hand digging around his jacket pockets. “It’s kinda fucking terrible an’ not at all what you deserve but, just- happy birthday.” He shoved a small wrapped box into Kiyotaka’s hands._

_“Nonsense, Kyoudai! I’m sure whatever you’ve made for me is wonderful, simply because you made it!” Mondo blushed and grumbled, yelling for Kiyotaka to just open it._

_Kiyotaka gently unwraps the paper and opens the box, revealing- Kiyotaka. Well, not himself, but a model of him from the chest up carved out of wood. He gasped, delicately taking it out of the box._

_“Kyoudai this is-“ Tears started falling down Kiyotaka’s cheeks._

_“Aw come on,” Mondo rushed to put his hands on his shoulders. “Don’t cry, or I’m gonna cry!”_

_Kiyotaka spluttered. “How can I not cry! You worked so hard to hone your craft and make this for me! I simply do not deserve this!”_

_“Hey, hey, you totally deserve this, and more!” Mondo’s hands went to cup Kiyotaka’s face, wiping away the tears. “Quit putting yerself down, alright? You’re- you’re super important and good and I don’t know what I’d do without ya.”_

_Kiyotaka sniffed, smiling up at Mondo. “I don’t know what I’d do without you either.”_

_Mondo’s hands stayed rested on his face, the space between them growing smaller and smaller until-_

Kiyotaka didn’t shoot or jolt up, his eyes opened slowly, tears already falling down his face.

He didn’t know what that dream was, or what it meant, but somehow deep down it felt...familiar. 

It was ridiculous, he’s never met Mondo before coming here, and he certainly hadn’t had thoughts about him like that…

Had he?

More tears gathered and fell over Kiyotaka’s eyes. Who was he kidding? He had, he’d thought of Mondo in that way, he wanted to hold him and kiss him but he can’t do anything about it now because he’s _gone._

_Maybe if I told him how I felt he wouldn’t of done it- or he’d be mad at me and not Chihiro…_

He turned over and dug his face into the sheets, trying to find anything left of Mondo’s scent- to no avail.

He’s really gone now, there’s nothing left. He’s gone, gone, gone-

Kiyotaka let out a sob, his exhaustion from all the crying he’s done lately being the only thing lulling him back to sleep.

Makoto walked around the hall on the first floor, worry pooling in his stomach. Taka hadn’t been at the meeting this morning, and he didn’t meet up with them again after the investigations last night, only appearing again when they gathered in the gym for the next motive.

Logically, he knew that he’s just too exhausted from all that’s happened in the last few days, emotionally and physically. But deep, deep down he feared that something had happened to him.

He stopped outside the bathhouse, hearing distant noises inside. He hurried to the door. _Did the mastermind find Alter Ego? Is someone destroying it? Is-_

He froze as soon as he walked in, taking in the sight before him.

Taka was sitting on one of the benches, hands clutching his head. “Taka?” If he heard Makoto, he made no effort to acknowledge him. Makoto walked forward, standing behind Taka.

He put a hand on his shoulder. “Taka, I-“ He was immediately interrupted by Taka, jerking away from his hand as if it burned him. “Taka!? Are you okay?” Taka’s fingers dug into his scalp, tiny drops of blood flowing down his face.

“T-Too brig-ght.” He hoarsely stuttered out. _Oh, does he have a headache?_ Makoto glanced around for a light switch, running over to flip it off. Some light still filtered in from the doors leading to the bath, so it wasn’t completely dark.

He went back to Taka’s side. “Better?” Taka nodded shakily, his grasp on his head easing up. Makoto noticed scratches on his hands, tears dripping down his face, and his breathing was uneven.

Makoto bit his lip. “What’s wrong? Does your head hurt? Are you feeling sick?”

“..Meltdown.” Ah. Makoto was kind of kicking himself for not noticing sooner.

“What about? I mean- you don’t have to tell me, of course, but sometimes talking about your problems helps you deal with them!”

Taka sniffed, removing his hands from his head and resting them in his lap, squeezing and rubbing at the fabric of his pants. “Bed...doesn’t smell like Mondo anymore…”

Oh. _Oh._ That’s why he’s...here.

He thought back to the sauna competition that took place just a room away. He still doesn’t know what happened to make the two so close...but just a few days after...

Makoto winced, thinking of something, anything to say or do to make the other boy feel any better.

Then suddenly, it hit him.

He shot up, running to the door. “I’ll be right back!” 

He ran to his room, throwing open the door and ignoring the look Byakuya gave him. He hastily grabbed the folded jacket, closed his door, and ran back to the bathhouse.

He gently opened the door, as to not hurt Taka. He quickly walked over, holding the fabric to his chest, panting. “Monokuma gave this to me after you and Hina and Sakura left the..room. I honestly didn’t know what to do it with it, so I thought I’d give it to you! S-Sorry if I’m overstepping-“

Makoto unfolded the fabric and held it out to Taka, revealing the long black jacket with delicate gold stitching. Taka’s shaking hands reached out to it, grabbing it. Makoto let go, smiling.

Then, Taka burst into tears.

“Oh, crap! I did overstep didn’t I!? I’m so, so sorry Taka-“

Makoto was silenced by the rapid shaking of Taka’s head from side to side. He held the jacket to his chest, clutching it. “Thank you.”

Makoto grinned. “No problem, what are friends for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof  
> i hope the makoto pov scene wasn’t awful! i plan to switch to his pov in a few other scenes jfjfhd  
> sorry it’s short i just wanted to get in one more chapter of calm before the Storm!  
> and finally the introduction of my favorite parts to write: the pre-game dream sequences! just some fluff in the middle of this. Mess


	3. i’m no good on my own anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyotaka thought for a moment, thinking of the right way to form his burning question.
> 
> “Do you...hate Mondo? And since I couldn't stop him...do you hate me?” It wasn’t exactly what he needed answered, but there was something hidden in the question that he hoped Makoto wouldn’t catch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured two chapters a week would be better than one because i have a lot of words to get out so!! chap 3 time!!  
> heed the warnings takas really not doing good (i.e big self hate and self deprecation)  
> this chapter title is from “i was an island”!

Kiyotaka sat on his bed, body engulfed in the jacket. It was...softer than he imagined. It was comforting, better than the scratchy blankets of his bed.

He truly hoped Makoto didn’t mean what he said earlier, about being friends. Not because he didn’t want any, of course, but…

It’s not working. People still want to be his friend, but didn’t they know that doing so would only get them killed, just like Mondo?

He wrapped himself further into the jacket. He needed to do something…

Then, he remembered what he overhead Celeste saying on the way back to his room.

He didn’t _mean_ to eavesdrop, though!

_If what she said is true...that they’re talking to Chihiro...I can ask her if what happened was truly my fault! If it isn’t, I won’t have to worry about hurting the others!_

Kiyotaka got up, Mondo’s jacket slightly dragging on the floor beneath him. He opened up his door and went to Makoto’s room, almost directly in front of his.

He rang the bell, standing there for a minute, until the door opened.

“T-Taka!” Makoto gestured for Kiyotaka to come in, closing the door behind him.

Kiyotaka waited to respond until Makoto turned back to him. “.....Is it true? Can I really...see Chihiro?” His voice was still rough and hoarse.

“Huh?” Makoto looked confused. “You mean Alter Ego?”

_Alter Ego? What on Earth..?_

Kiyotaka shook his head. “She’s...still alive?”

Makoto bit his lip, averting Kiyotaka’s eyes. “N-No...not quite…”

Tears threatened to fall from Kiyotaka’s eyes, but he willed them away. Not now. “Let me see... I want to...talk to her…”

“T-Taka…”

_You’re barging into his room and demanding to see Chihiro- to see this ‘Alter Ego’- you’re being incredibly rude._

“Okay. Why don’t we get going?” Kiyotaka smiled gratefully at Makoto, following him out of his room. He could hear Makoto stopping and talking to others, but he was more focused on getting to talk to Chihiro again.

Makoto led him into the bathhouse they were just in earlier that day, turning to the lockers. One locker was open, revealing a laptop. 

“Okay, so...there's a laptop inside the locker, understand? And on the laptop there's a program called Alter Ego.” Makoto slowly explained to him, gesturing to said laptop.

Kiyotaka jerked his head down in favor of a nod. “How do I...talk to her?”

Makoto adjusted the laptop to face Kiyotaka, moving his own hands towards the keyboard. “O-Oh, um... Well, you just tell me what you want to say, and I'll type it in for you.”

Kiyotaka thought for a moment, thinking of the right way to form his burning question.

“Do you...hate Mondo? And since I couldn't stop him...do you hate me?” It wasn’t exactly what he needed answered, but there was something hidden in the question that he hoped Makoto wouldn’t catch.

Makoto gave him a sad, sympathetic look.

_You’re being rude again._

“...Please.”

_Better._

“O-Okay.” Makoto answered, typing up Kiyotaka’s question.

His eyes widened as Chihiro’s picture popped up, the program speaking in her voice. “...Do you hold yourself responsible...? If Master could talk now, I think this is what she would say... Please, live your life for the both of us. It's impossible for me now, but you can still survive and escape--all of you.” The program smiled at the end.

It wasn’t enough for Kiyotaka, it still very well could be his fault. His eyes darted to the floor, tears building up.

“Hey, Taka-“ Makoto started, but was interrupted by Alter Ego.

“The one asking those questions is...Taka, right?” Kiyotaka’s eyes shoot back up, staring at the laptop. “Analyzing all available data, that's the only conclusion I can come to. Master told me how close Taka and Mondo had become. So that must be why he feels responsible…”

The screen went black, and he thought that was it. But…

“You're not letting yourself get crushed under the weight of that responsibility, are you!?” Mondo’s image had popped up on the laptop, his voice shooting out from the speakers.

“Gh-!” It’s _him,_ it’s his voice, it’s his face, _it’s him, it’s him, it’s him, he’s back, he’s here-_

The Mondo on the laptop grinned. “A man's only worth as much as the load he can carry! You get it, right bro? Hell, what am I saying? Of course ya do!”

Kiyotaka’s fingers clutched at the sleeves of the heavy jacket on top of him. He could feel something tightening and burning in his chest... _It’s him…_

Makoto gasped. “Th-that’s..!”

Chihiro’s face appeared on the laptop again. “I'm sorry if I startled you... That was my attempt at a simulation, using the data about Mondo that Master had given me. I figured if Taka was depressed, that's the kind of thing Mondo would have said to him…” Kiyotaka bit at his bottom lip.

Mondo’s face soon replaced Chihiro’s. “So you're just gonna stand there, huh? Just wait for things to get better? Just take your time and get all depressed... Take the time to indulge your regrets... You might even start walking again without realizing it. Sure, that kind of mediocre thinking might work for some people.”

The feeling in his chest was expanding, burning all over his body. But at the same time, it was numb. _Him him him him-_

Chihiro’s face came back, giggling. “...What if I said it with that kind of condescending tone!?”

Kiyotaka stood there, frozen. And then..he started laughing. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t stop. He just kept on laughing and laughing…

“Taka?” Makoto was now turned to face him, concern written all over his face.

Kiyotaka clenched his fist, nails digging painfully into skin. It’s ridiculous, but somehow, he feels an aura surrounding him. “... It's starting to sink in... The way a bucketful of water sinks into a bone-dry sponge…”

“Huh?” Makoto stood frozen at his side, dumbfounded.

Kiyotaka smiled, truly, for the first time in days. “Those words... Deep within my heart...! They're inside of me!” He gave out an almost animal roar. His eyes felt like they were on fire- burning all over.

“T-Taka!?” Makoto yelped, backing away from him slowly.

“Who the fudge is Taka!?” Kiyot- _He_ growled out.

“Y-Your eyes…”

He smirked. “Hey, don't worry about it! Guess I caused kind of a scene, huh? Shoot, man…”

Makoto raised an eyebrow. “And your voice…”

“I’m...a new me.” He fixed his eyes onto the floor. Then, his eyes shot up as he yelled out. “I'm totally stuffed with fighting spirit now! Ya dumbbutt!” 

Makoto gave him a look, full of caution and pity. “O-Okay, Taka... Just calm down.” He backed up, slightly bumping into the benches when he gave off a growl.

“I AM calm! And don't call me Taka! That's...that's not my name anymore…” He snarled. “I'm...me! I! Am! Meeeeeee!”

He didn’t wait for Makoto’s response, instead opting to run out of the bathhouse. Vaguely, he saw a flash of Kyoko as he passed.

He ignored her, running to his room, going in and slamming the door shut. Almost immediately, he ran into his bathroom, a sick feeling suddenly appearing in his stomach.

He leaned on the sink, waiting for it to pass. As it did, he looked up into the mirror. “The fudge are you lookin’ at?” Distantly he noticed his suddenly white hair, but he didn’t seem surprised by it.

“You were weak.” He growled out. “Weak, weak, weak, weak, weak! That’s why ya couldn’t save ‘em- why ya can’t save any of ‘em!” He yelled, hair flickering to black as he choked on his sobs. “Yer still weak, that’s why yer in here freakin cryin’ instead of finding a way out.”

He glared at his reflection. It glared back at him, almost mockingly. “Yer _useless_ here, ya couldn’t save them, you’ll never save anyone you _fucking weak piece of shit_!” He screamed out, fist reeling back and flying forward, slamming into the mirror, shattering it.

He panted, staring at the broken image of himself. Distantly, he could feel a numb throbbing in his fist. He looked down at it, scratches and blood littering his knuckles. It didn’t seem like there were any glass fragments in there, so he let it be.

He walked back into his bedroom.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!! What do you think you’re doing!!!” He didn’t jump when Monokuma popped up, seething at him. He merely glanced down at him. “What, you’re too good to grace your poor, dear headmaster with a response!?”

He hummed. “I don’t think I owe you a freakin’ answer, jerkface.”

Monokuma stood silent, before breaking out into peals of laughter. “Oh- aahaha! That’s hilarious! What are you trying to do? Replace our little butter boy?”

He seethed at the bear, fists clenching. “Our souls fused. I’m not tryna replace anyone you little-“

Monokuma shushed him, giggling. “Upupupu..That’s just fantastic! Well, I can’t stop you from ‘fusing your souls’ or whatever other gross metaphors you have in your ‘swearing for 5 year old boy scouts’ handbook!” The bear bounced around. “Just don’t break anymore mirrors! Replacing them is expensive as fudge!”

Monokuma disappeared, leaving him glaring at the floor. He shook off Monokuma’s insults, pulling on the sleeves of the biker jacket. 

He fell back onto his bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

_“You really must be more careful, Mondo.” Kiyotaka chastised, working a roll of bandages around Mondo’s arm. “I can’t, and certainly don’t want to, change who you are or what you do but I must ask you to caution yourself with things like these.”_

_Mondo sat on the closed toilet in the cramped bathroom, wincing a little when the other moved on to rubbing antiseptic over the cut on his cheek. “I know, I just- fuck- that guy was saying stupid shit about ya and I just...feel the need to protect ya.” Mondo blushed._

_“That’s quite alright, but you know I can take care of myself. Thank you for defending my honor, though, my knight in shining leather jacket.” Kiyotaka smiled, leaning back, done addressing the others wounds._

_Mondo snorted, head coming to rest in the little dip between Kiyotaka’s shoulder and neck, arms looping around his waist._

_“You’ll have to apologize to him tomorrow, though.”_

_Mondo’s head snapped up, nailing Kiyotaka in the chin. “Shit, shit, sorry! I just- you’re a huge fuckin’ dork.”_

_Kiyotaka rubbed at his chin, hands then going to rest around Mondo’s shoulders. “I may be a ‘huge freakin dork’ but I know the difference an honest apology can make!”_

_Mondo laughed, leaning up to capture Kiyotaka’s lips. It was soft, it always was, and it always made Kiyotaka’s chest feel warm and tight, but in a good way, it made him giggle. Mondo broke away, smiling. “What are you laughing at?”_

_“Nothing- nothing. It’s just, I love you.”_

_“I love ya too, dork.”_

He stared up at the ceiling, tears drying on his face. Why was he having these dreams? They didn’t make sense, they were…

They were what Kiyotaka wanted.

He clenched his hands on the sleeves of the jacket. Weak, weak, weak Kiyotaka. He was better than that, he was better than _him-_

The morning announcement played, and he got out of bed, leaving the room.

He walked into the dining hall, thinking no one else was here, until-

“Yo, Ishimaru-chi! What’s up with your hair, did you bleach it or somethin’?” Hiro stood in the middle of the dining hall, waving at him.

He snarled, walking up to the other boy. “I didn’t do fudge to my hair! And don’t call me Ishimaru, that’s not me!”

Hiro just blinked, smiling. “Oh, uh, alright? What do you want me to call you then?”

He paused. He didn’t...know what he wanted to be called, in all honesty.

“I’m me.”

“Okay, me, but that’s gonna get really confusing. Oh! Before I forget, do you wanna take a bath?”

_Huh?_

“What are ya gettin’ at, seaweed hair!?” He sneered, taking a step closer.

“Hey not cool, don’t insult the hair! And, like, you’re always goin’ on about how bonding is best done naked or whatever and I thought we could use some of that! From one best friend to another!” He squinted as Hiro sweated, arms flying around.

Then, he laughed. “Alright! Let us go bathe in the heat of our bond!”

Hiro sighed with relief. “You can go first, I’ve got some things to do real quick.”

He nodded, making his way to the bathhouse. He stepped inside, stopping when he sees Kyoko and Hifumi in there.

“What the heck is going on here? Ya dumbbutts having a get together without me!?” He yelled. Kyoko gave him a look he couldn’t quite describe, so he chose to ignore it.

“Please, Ishimaru-dono! I’ve been so kind to you, now you gotta help me!” Hifumi shrieked, hidden in a corner of the room.

He grimaced. “Don’t call me that! An’ why would I help _you_!?” A voice in the back of his mind tells him that he’s being rude, and in return he tells the voice exactly where it can stick it’s opinion.

Hifumi whines in the corner while Kyoko turns to him. “What are you doing? What do you mean, ‘don’t call me that’?”

“Exactly what I freakin’ said! Don’t call me Ishimaru, or Kiyotaka, or even Taka! That’s not who I am, I’m better than ‘im! I fused with my Kyoudai’s soul, and became more than that pathetic jerk!” He grinned, though Kyoko gave him a sympathetic look in response.

He turned away from her, staring into the windows built into the doors separating them from the bath. The sauna was in there…

_Stop. Being all depressed like that just makes you weak._

He decided to stare down at his boots instead.

One by one the others came in, only confusing him further.

“Please Kirigiri-dono,” Hifumu begged. “Please have mercy on me!”

Kyoko just gave him a cold, hard glare.

“Kyaaaaahh! Someone heeeeelllp!”

Just then, Makoto walked in, concerned. “Hifumi, what's going on!?” Makoto gave a glance to him, quickly turning around and facing Hifumi.

Hifumi looked to Makoto, pleading. “Naegi-dono! Save me! I've never asked you for anything, but I'm asking now!”

He decided to tune out the conversation, as it didn’t interest him. He only heard bits and pieces, it seemed Hifumi was talking to Alter Ego?

“Whoa! Okay, time out! I can't even believe I'm about to ask this, but... Hifumi...you're not gonna tell us you...fell in love or something, are you?” Hiro asked. He turned to Hifumi, glaring at the back of his head. That’s _his_ Kyoudai.

“Hah! That I, the cold-blooded killing machine of the underworld, would ever fall in love!? That's..” Hifumi paused, eyes widening. “Wait...no way! Is...is this love!?”

He seethed as Hiro described how he knew Hifumi was in love. Did Hifumi really think he could get away with this?

“... W-Well, at the beginning...I just wanted to hear her say "Master" one more time.” He sneered, disgusted. “B-But then I was poking around at her settings and stuff, and saw she was a well-designed program. And it was like...how can I say...? It was the first time I...I was ever able to talk like that...with a normal girl.”

He stood there, anger growing. Anger for Chihiro, or Alter Ego. How dare Hifumi talk about her so senselessly? 

He tuned back in as Celeste spoke up. “Alter Ego was not interested in who you were. it was interested in what you knew. It is an artificial intelligence. It exists to learn. Of course it wanted to hear of things it did not know. You are an expert in many things Chihiro could not have taught it about, for what that is worth. Alter Ego wants that information--that is all.”

She was lying, that’s Chihiro- and his Kyoudai in there. She’s got to be lying…

“I-I know... I mean, I do know that. But still... Are you saying it's totally hopeless? Er…”

Enough was enough, he decided. “You gotta be freakin' kiddin' me!” He yelled out. “Hey, you jerks! I'm sittin' here, listening to you guys jibber jabber on about whatever!”

Aoi perked up. “Oh, Taka! Are you back!?”

“Who the hell's Taka!?”

“Um...you?”

Hiro stepped forward. “I think he’s calling himself ‘me’ right now!”

“Like that’s not confusing at all…” Aoi pouted.

“You’re...who?” Makoto asked, confused.

“Don't bullcrap me! Isn't it obvious!? I'm Ishimaru AND Oowada. So, like...Ishida, I guess…” Ishida thought for a second. Then, “I'm gonna stick a banana up your tailpipe!”

Hifumi yelped. “What the...? What the heck kind of fusion is this!?”

Aoi gave Ishida a look full of sympathy and pity, and he hated it. “What's happened to you, Ta..er, Ishida?”

Makoto fidgeted. “Uh, well, actually...uhm, Ishida, or are the time Taka, came to me yesterday asking to see Alter Ego. He wanted to ask it some stuff and it kinda...turned into Mondo? And gave him this whole motivational speech about moving on but Taka kinda...took it really deeply and became Ishida.”

Sakura nodded in understanding. “So because of what Alter Ego said to him…”

“Are you sure it's Alter Ego's fault?” Aoi asked. “Maybe Mondo's ghost showed up and possessed him!” She shouted.

Hiro gave out a yell. “Gh-Gh-Ghost!? No, th-th-th-there's no such thing!”

“What are y'all whining about!? C'MON! God, you're really cheesin' me off...!” Ishida huffed, then turned “Hey, Hifumi!”

Hifumi jumped at the call. “Y-Yes…?”

Ishida stalked forward to him, glaring. “I dunno what you're thinkin', but...Kyoudai belongs to me!”

“Huh…?” Aoi questioned.

“Alter Ego! He's an exact copy of the one who gave me my soul back!” He yelled, tears beginning to form but he willed them away. “And I'm not gonna let anyone else have him ever again! Fudgin' idiot!”

Hifumi moped, but then, “... I'm afraid...I can't allow that.”

Ishida snarled at him. “What!?”

“I can't withdraw...Ishimaru-dono...Since I have this opportunity, let me say this right now…” Hifumi puffed up his chest. “Destiny has bound me and her together in the Gordian Knot of true love!”

“Well me and HIM have been melded together in the white-hot heat of FRIENDSHIP!” Ishida yelled back, stepping forward again.

“H-Hey, come on, you guys…” Makoto said, awkwardly standing off to the side.

Ishida whipped around to him, blinded by anger. “Moron! Talk down to me and I'll ram my fist right into all four of your vital points!”

Hifumi took that as a challenge. “Well I punch at the speed of sound! And I don't have any arm hair so there's no drag!”

_This is ridiculous, you’re being too aggressive, too mean, stop it stop it stop-_

“Knock it off, both of you.” Kyoko walked in between them. “Ishida, believe me, I understand and sympathize with what you’re going through but this doesn't belong to any one person. Chihiro left it to all of us. We can use it to finally gain access to vital clues.” There was something left unsaid in Kyoko’s eyes as she stared at Ishida.

“Kyoko's right.” Sakura spoke up, joining the trio. “If anyone dares disturb our peace any further...They'll have to deal with me.” 

Ishida stared down, his vision blurring with tears.

“Until Alter Ego has finished its work, don't do anything weird.” Kyoko spoke with a gentle undertone that only Ishida could seem to understand. “Have I made myself clear?

He nodded, catching Kyoko’s regretful look.

“Hifumi, I can't hear you…” Sakura turned to the other, nearly growling.”

“Y-Yes!”

Kyoko hummed. “Okay then. Let's get out of here. We can't afford to linger too long.”

Ishida left without a sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in all honesty i don’t know what i consider ishida to be. maybe the result of such a big breakdown?? who knows  
> also i really like writing monokuma JFJDH  
> also lets play how many of my favorite tropes i can cram into the dream sequences
> 
> it’s only gonna get worse from here
> 
> (and i forgot to say earlier if you wanna yell with me on tumblr catch me at: @oowadas !)


	4. i dont remember my real name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoi grinned. “Yeah, totally! Did he finally find a clue? What is it? A way out!? The mastermind's true identity!?”
> 
> “...” Kyoko remained silent for a moment.
> 
> _Here it comes, here it comes-_
> 
> “It's gone.”
> 
> _Huh?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am i updating at 1am? good question  
> anyways!  
> it’s almost time,,for the most tantalizing part of this fic to write (the trial it’s the trial)  
> this chapter name is from “the record player song” by daisy the great!

Ishida laid in his bed in a daze. 

It was weak to just lay there, to just wallow in his pity but…

Kyoko entered his room, not bothering to knock.

“The fudge are you doin’ here!? Dontchu know how to knock??” Ishida yelled.

Kyoko regarded him with a glance before turning around and closing the door. “I figured it was unlocked.” She walked forward, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry about earlier, I know how attached you’ve grown to Alter Ego.”

Ishida sighed, taking the pillow from under his head and shoving it over his face.

_You’re being rude rude rude rude rude-_

Kyoko simply picked up the pillow, tossing it to the far corner of the room. “I was going to say that I’ll permit you to talk to it, as long as I come with you. Does that sound doable?” Ishida huffed, nodding. “Thank you...You can talk to me, you know? I hate seeing you so...upset and angry. You need to talk to someone, okay Ishida?” She stood up, ruffling his hair.

Kyoko walked over, picking up the pillow, and throwing it back onto Ishida. She started for the door, stopping when her hand reached the doorknob. “And, I know Mondo would want you to talk to someone too.” She left after that, leaving a cold feeling hanging in the air.

Ishida grabbed the pillow, slamming it down onto his face again when he felt tears bubble over his eyes. He let out a muffled scream.

_Weak..._

_It’s not weak to want help-_

_Weak weak weak weak weak weak weak weak, you’re WEAK._

He stayed like that for a while, and then, he slowly got up. He peaked out his door, looking around to make sure no one was around.

Once he was certain no one was out, Ishida left. He quietly, quickly walked to the bathhouse.

_You’re breaking the deal how could you you don’t deserve the title of Ultimate Moral Compass-_

Ishida, with a deep feeling of guilt, pulled the laptop out of it’s resting place, sitting on a bench, setting it in his lap.

‘Please let me speak to Mondo.’ He typed out. That was polite enough, right? Not that he cared or anything.

Chihiro’s face popped up. “Taka? Is that you?”

‘Yes...but, call me Ishida. Please’

“Okay, Ishida…” The program looked as if it were thinking. “Kyoko told me you must be accompanied by her when visiting, is she with you?”

_Don’t lie don’t lie don’t lie_

‘No.’ He typed. ‘I needed to talk to Mondo by myself.’

Alter Ego looked through the screen, worried. “Are you sure this is the best course of action? Having me pretend to be Mondo helped when you were unresponsive and shutdown, but it seems inadvisable to continue like this in the long run.”

Ishida slammed his fists on the bench. “I don’t CARE, I _need_ to talk to him!” He screamed out, quickly covering his mouth. Once he was sure he heard no noises outside, he typed a response. 

‘I understand, alright, but I need to talk to him right now.’

The program looked sympathetic. “Alright…”

Mondo’s face soon took up the screen, causing a few tears to slip down Ishida’s face. “Hey Kyoudai!”

‘Mondo...what do I do?’

“Whaddya mean, Kyoudai? Ya gotta be more clear!” The program grinned.

Ishida allowed himself to smile, if only for a second. ‘I don’t know what to do without you. I mean, I got you in my soul. I just. I got rid of that weak idiot Kiyotaka, but I still feel. lonely and weak.’

The Mondo on the laptop paused, almost looking sad. “Listen, Kyoudai. Yer not weak. If anything you, Kiyotaka an’ whatever ya wanna be now- yer strong as hell! I mean, you’ve gotten this far without me, right? Ya don’t need to depend on me, or anyone else to keep ya standing sturdy. Ya just need to believe in yourself, right!? And...it’s okay to be lonely. I’d be lonely without ya too. But ya got everyone else to keep ya company- Makoto, and Hina, and whoever fucking else!” He huffed. “Ya don’t need to keep all yer problems to yourself and suffer alone to be strong. I’d say the strongest people are the ones that face their problems head on, that talk about em with others! That’s manly as hell!”

Ishida hiccuped, tears cascading down his face. He went to put the laptop away, before deciding he should thank it.

‘thdank you f,or the inspifing words and specch’

Chihiro’s face popped back up. “Oh, I’m very sorry! Did I upset you?”

Ishida huffed, rubbing the tears from his eyes with Mondo’s jacket sleeve. ‘I meant thank you, you nerd. I need to get going.’

“Oh! You’re quite welcome! I’ll see you later, Ishida.” Ishida smiled, putting the laptop in the locker and walking out of the bathhouse, back to his room.

He dropped onto his bed, eyes closed, and a smile on his face as he drifted off to sleep.

_“No. Absolutely not.” Kiyotaka stood frozen, Mondo was in front of him, giving him a grin, leaning on his motorcycle._

_“Come on! Your place is like, fuckin’, miles away and no one here’s got a car we can borrow! It’d take forever to just walk there!” He shouted, coming over to lean heavily on Kiyotaka._

_Kiyotaka wheezed, pushing Mondo off of him, gently. “We could always use public transit to get there.”_

_Mondo whined. “But that’s boring as hell! Come on, I got ya a helmet an’ everything!”_

_He thought for a second, a warm feeling growing in his stomach at Mondo considering his strict sense of safety when trying to get him on his motorcycle. “Oh, alright. But you can’t pass any red lights, or-“_

_“I got it, Kiyo! I’m not that reckless, ya know.” He was met with an unimpressed look from the other. Mondo snorted. “Okay, sometimes, but I gotta keep you safe, right?”_

_Kiyotaka smiled, catching the red helmet Mondo throws at him as he makes his way over to the vehicle. He gets on the seat behind Mondo, but seems at a loss._

_“Where’s the seatbelt?”_

_Mondo turned around, smiling. “There are no seatbelts on a motorcycle! Ya just gotta hang onto me!”_

_“This seems less like getting me out of my comfort zone and more like an excuse for me to hold you.” Kiyotaka teased._

_“Ah, shit, ya got me. Now let’s go!” Mondo turned back around. Kiyotaka hesitantly wrapped his arms around Mondo’s middle, squeezing tightly._

_Mondo took off, and Kiyotaka instinctively shut his eyes, head digging into Mondo’s back._

_A few minutes passed before Mondo yelled out. “Ya know, this would be more enjoyable if ya just opened yer eyes and looked around!”_

_Kiyotaka squeezed him in return, earning a chuckle from Mondo. Slowly, he opened his eyes, turning to look at the scenery._

_Mondo was right, it was more peaceful than he imagined. They weren’t flying down the road, as he thought they would be. They passed trees and lakes, eventually going into the city._

_Kiyotaka looked up at the sky, it was starting to darken. Orange was splashed against blue and purple, red mixed in slightly._

_He didn’t know how much time had passed, but they eventually stopped below a small apartment complex. “Kiyo...Kiyo. Babe!” Kiyotaka jolted, causing Mondo to laugh. “We’re here, ya dork.”_

_“Oh! I apologize, I was simply lost in thought.”_

_“You were enjoying it, weren’t ya?” Mondo had turned to look at him, a huge grin on his face._

_Kiyotaka sighed. “Yes, yes. I suppose you were right...for once.”_

_“Hey, what's that supposed to mean!?”_

-

Ishida was awoken by the morning announcement, instead of by his tears, for once.

Though he still couldn’t figure out why he was having these dreams or why it felt so familiar...it had been peaceful. Like his subconscious had decided to give him a break.

He sighed, deciding to forego the breakfast meeting again, ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of his head.

_I just hope Alter Ego doesn’t tattle on me…_

_You shouldn’t have broken the deal in the first place!_

“God, shut up, ya freaking loser!” He groaned, turning to shove his face into his pillows.

Deep down, he hoped if he tried hard enough it would smell like Mondo again.

It doesn’t.

He lays in his bed for hours, though it seems like a waste of whatever time he has left here, he doesn’t care.

Kyoko barges into his room, and when he checks the clock after jumping up, he sees it’s just a while until 10pm.

_Jeez I stayed in bed all freakin day._

“Whaddya want?” He asks, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Kyoko looks around his room discreetly, but he still catches it. “Just checking up on you.” She comes up to him, body blocking out the camera mounted on the wall.

‘Meet me in the bathhouse.’ She mouths. He nods slightly.

_Crap, does she know?_

“Well, ya don’t gotta. In fact, I was just about to go to the sauna and strengthen my spirit!” He shouts, a bit too loudly.

Even like this, he was terrible at lying.

Kyoko nods, leaving his room immediately. Ishida sighs, standing up and heading towards the bathhouse. 

_I’m in deep crap if Alter Ego told on me…_

He enters, and suddenly he’s faced with Aoi, Sakura, Hifumi, and Toko.

“Oh, hey Ishida!” Aoi waves, smiling. Ishida grunted in response, walking himself to the far corner of the room and leaning his back against it.

Hifumi huffed. “Typical of someone like you to act so disrespectful!”

Ishida snapped up. “Oh, yeah!? Ya wanna talk about disrespectful ya little-“

Kyoko walked in, effectively cutting of Ishida. She gave him a meaningful look, then turned around to glare at Hifumi. “Don’t start anything.”

Byakuya and Celeste walked in, an air of indifference around them. Though, Byakuya did give Ishida an interested look.

Eventually, Hiro walked in, soon followed by Makoto. “Hey! You!” Ishida shouted at them. “How long were you gonna keep us waiting!?” He stared at his watch. “Don’t you know how important it is to get to meetings on time!?” He handed Makoto a detention slip, already filled in.

“Really-“

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Makoto nervously cut off Byakuya, sticking the slip into his jacket pocket. “I was late, I totally deserve it.” He gave the heir a pointed glare.

Ishida huffed. “You more than deserve it!”

“Can we maybe hurry this up, though?” Hiro asked. “It’s like...five minutes to 10 o’clock and I’m tired!” He yelled out, his arm waving, the wristwatch wrapped around his wrist shaking around.

Ishida nodded. “I agree! Almost bedtime for all the good little kids!”

“Tch... Shut up…” Hifumi grumbled under his breath, though he was loud enough for Ishida to hear.

“What'd you say!? You want me to make you cry, little girl!?” Ishida snarled back.

_That is very morally wrong in so many different ways-_

Byakuya smirked, ignoring Makoto’s gestures to not step in. “Taka... He seems to be even worse off than I'd heard.” Kyoko raised an eyebrow. “Well, maybe it's a good thing. Maybe he's finally starting to grow a personality.”

“What--!?” Ishida spluttered. “You got a lotta crap fallin' outta that mouth of yours, you know that!?”

Toko stepped up. “How rude... A maggot like you has no right to speak that way to our heaven-sent Master...!”

_Heaven-sent? More like demon spawn…_

_That is not funny!_

“Hm? Are you back to your normal gloomy self? I can hardly keep track at this point.” Celeste hummed, smiling wickedly.

“Sh-Shut up...!”

“Well anyway,” Hiro spoke up, trying to calm everyone down. “Everyone’s here, right!? Then my messenger duty is complete!” He smiled.

Sakura nodded. “You wanted us all to meet here, right Kyoko? So, what are we doing here?”

Ishida bit his lip, a tight nervous feeling growing in his chest. _Did she find out? Is she gonna tell everyone about what I did?_

“Isn't it obvious? It's gotta have something to do with Alter Ego, right!?” Hiro yelled.

Ishida shifted from side to side where he was, sweat building at his temple.

Aoi grinned. “Yeah, totally! Did he finally find a clue? What is it? A way out!? The mastermind's true identity!?”

“...” Kyoko remained silent for a moment.

_Here it comes, here it comes-_

“It's gone.”

_Huh?_

“Gone...?” Makoto asked, confused.

_Gone? Alter Ego’s...gone?_

Kyoko glared, causing Makoto to jump a little. “I came here a little earlier to check up on things, and that's when I discovered... Alter Ego--the laptop--has disappeared…”

_It’s gone- he’s gone again- Kyoudai, Mondo, he’s gone gone gone gone-_

Fuzziness swirled in Ishida’s head, his vision blurring. There was something on his face, tears? He didn’t have the energy to berate himself or wipe them off, he was just stuck, frozen. Cold numbness spreading from his chest to his stomach, down his whole body.

He was snapped out of it immediately when Hifumi spoke up. “The solution to this particular mystery is obvious! It could only have been...him!” He pointed at Ishida. “Ishimaru-dono! You stole her, didn't you!?”

Ishida scoffed, senses slowly coming back to him. “What!? I'm the Ultimate Moral Compass! I would never do something like that!”

“I don't think it counts when you say it about yourself like that…” Aoi mumbled.

_Does it not? I’m only trying to reassert my innocence I didn’t mean to-_

_Shut up!_

Ishida pointed back at Hifumi. “You're the suspicious one here! You're nothin' but a big, jiggling sack of fat!” A pang of guilt struck Ishida in his chest.

_Don’t judge someone based on their appearance!_

Hifumi laughed. “Shows what you know. This isn't my true form! I still have three more transformations left!” _...What?_ “Er...wait, I mean--it wasn't me! Everyone knows YOU'RE the thief!”

Ishida growled, the other was just being more suspicious, and blaming him for the theft of Alter Ego! “Wrong! It’s you!”

“Well I'm sure it was one of you. So whoever did it, just hurry up and confess!” Hiro shouted. “I mean, it’s probably Hifumi anyways so-“

Hifumi’s protest was cut off by Kyoko. “I told Alter Ego to yell if Hifumi came into the dressing room. And, both Alter Ego and Ishida were explicitly told that I must accompany him if he wished to see it.”

The guilty feeling came back to Ishida at full force.

Kyoko continued. “It was a countermeasure against the clear danger that one of them might come for it.”

_Thanks for the boost in confidence…_

_It makes sense with the crude way you’re acting now!!_

Celeste furrowed her brows. “But...I never heard any yell.”

“Exactly. Which means it wasn't them.”

Ishida huffs, of course it wasn’t him. But then…

Hiro spoke up, as if reading Ishida’s mind. “Then...who was it?”

The atmosphere suddenly turned cold, no one could answer his question. Ishida stood frozen where he was. _If it wasn’t Hifumi, then who else would want to steal it?_

Byakuya scoffed, finally filling the room with noise again. “The fundamental circumstances are becoming clear... If it wasn't the mastermind, and it wasn't Taka or Hifumi...then quite simply, it was someone else.” Ishida sneered. “Makoto, Celeste, Sakura, Hina, Toko, or myself... One of us must be the thief.”

“Why would any of US wanna steal Alter Ego!?” Aoi yelled, glaring at Byakuya.

“How about this for a reason?” Byakuya merely glanced around at the others. “There is a traitor among us.”

_A traitor…?_

Ishida stood silent, conflicted. Was he right? Was there a traitor? 

_I’m gonna freakin’ destroy whoever it is-_

_Stop! He could be wrong, and if he isn’t, this traitor person could’ve been forced into it-_

_I don’t CARE!_

“...Huh?” Makoto asked, seemingly as confused as the rest of them.

Byakuya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “One of us is working for the mastermind--a spy. And that's the one who stole Alter Ego. Can you deny the possibility?”

Could he?

Thoughts kept swirling around Ishida’s head. What did they do to Kyoudai? He didn’t care about beating them up anymore- he just wanted him back. He just got him back-

Tears silently began to flow down Ishida’s face as he bit his lip. _Weak, weak-_

“I-It can't be!” Makoto cried out. 

“I've actually been thinking for some time now that there might be a spy among us. The mastermind brought someone in to help keep things moving smoothly.” Silence encompassed the room again. “Why do you not speak? Are you struck silent by your inability to comprehend such a possibility?”

_Stop it. Stop taking stop talking stop-_

“I don’t care!” Hifumi squealed out, quickly jumping up. Just as quickly, he deflated. “I don't care...who... Someone, anyone...save her... Please, rescue her... I'm begging you... I just want to see her smiling face again…”

Ishida grunted. “Same here. How many times do they hafta kill Kyoudai before they're happy...? I'll beg, I'll scrape my head across the ground. Just please give him back...!” His words trailed off, his voice breaking.

Aoi stood beside Ishida, biting her lip, unsure if she should move to comfort the other. “This is pretty messed up... But still, I think I kinda get how they feel…”

“I think Alter Ego is most likely still safe, for the moment at least.” Kyoko spoke out, seemingly to comfort the two.

Celeste jerked her head up slightly in a nod. “If they wanted to destroy it, they wouldn't have taken it. They would've done it right here.”

“So you're saying whoever did it has something else in mind for it...” Sakura replied.

Ishida swayed, as if he were in a trance. “That doesn't matter. Nothing...nothing else matters…” _Weak...stop whining and do something about it...don’t freakin start acting like that again-_ Ishida clenched his fists, spirit coming back to him. “No matter what it takes, I'm gonna get him back! That's my promise as a man!”

“I swear I'll save her! Using the power of love...!” Hifumi yelled out.

Ishida clenched his teeth, but made no effort to start an argument with the other.

Then, the nighttime announcement broke through the room, startling everyone.

“It's nighttime…” Aoi said, a hand hovering over Ishida’s back.

Celeste hummed. “It is unfortunate, but we will have to leave the search for tomorrow. For now, everyone get some sleep.”

Hifumi glared at the other. “How can you be so casual! We don't have time to wait around!”

“What good are you if you are too tired? You will be much more effective after a good night's sleep.”

“Who gives a crap about "effective"!?” Ishida yelled back. “We're talkin' about our FEELINGS here!”

_Do you have any idea how ridiculously irresponsible you are being right now, not to mention how rude that was-_

Kyoko cut his thoughts off. “Anything we do at night brings a higher chance of the mastermind noticing us. Celeste is right. We should begin our investigation tomorrow morning. What do you think, Naegi?”

Makoto jumped slightly, scrambling to find the right words. “I...agree with you. If we run around tonight in a panic, the mastermind is sure to notice, and we won't get anything done. Ishida, Hifumi... I know how you feel right now, but... It's best if, just for tonight...you can try and endure it.”

Ishida bit his lip, nodding. _Weak weak weak weak weak-_

Celeste smiled. “Okay, then let us part for today. We will begin our search for Alter Ego in the morning.”

“And you should think about what I said--someone may very well be spying for the mastermind.” Byakuya rang out, swiftly walking away soon after. Toko yelped, scrambling to follow behind him.

“Well- let’s just do our best tomorrow, okay!” Aoi grinned, patting Ishida awkwardly, then walking out.

Hifumi made a move to say something to Ishida, but he ignored it, stalking out of the room.

_That was rude-_

_Shut up._

Ishida walked into his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He didn’t feel tired, he couldn’t sleep.

He fell onto his bed, shoved the palms of his hands into his eyes, willing sleep to come.

It felt like an eternity passed before Ishida heard a shuffling noise. He jumped up, but saw no one there. He checked the clock- it was just a little past 12:30 am.

His eyes darted around the room until they fell on a slip of paper near his door.

“What the-“ Ishida stood up off his bed, grunting. He walked to his door, swiping up the piece of paper.

_I found a hole maybe we can use to escape. Monokuma can't find out, so don't tell anyone else for now. Let's meet in the rec room at 1 a.m._

Ishida raised an eyebrow. This had “suspicious” written all over it.

But still…

Something compelled him to walk out the door.

Something compelled him to keep on walking up the stairs, all the way to the rec room.

Something compelled him to wait and wait until 1:00 am arrived.

Something…

As his vision faded out, as terrible as it might be to everyone who’s supported him, to Kyoko, to his father- he’d been so wrapped up with this he’s forgotten that his father could be in trouble, he’s such a terrible son- to Mondo, all he could think of was _Finally, finally finally-_

And then all he saw was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😳  
> you’d think someone that’s been on a motorcycle several times would be better at describing motorcycle rides and yet  
> (and as always formatting this on mobile is a huge pain in the ass)  
> also if you caught the note and the wristwatch and the Other note you probably already know where this is heading. listen. i couldn’t come up with any other evidence!!  
> some of takas internal thoughts are going to get,,worse next chapter so👀  
> if you wanna yell at me my tumblr is “oowadas” !


	5. all those times someone died is all your fault you know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Killed…? Did he…?_
> 
> _He didn’t want to go through that- to go through what Mondo went through- what did he do what did he do what did he do-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda late update!! i’m sorry!! i was busy all day yesterday (i saw the sonic movie!! it was great!!)  
> also i am very sick JGKDJ but i always gets sick around valentine’s day so it’s no biggie  
> this chapters title is from “you’re an awful person” by vflower!

_Kiyotaka waved to Mondo, grinning as the other waved back before taking off on his motorcycle, speeding out of sight._

_He closed the door, smile still on his face as he came face to face with his father._

_“Well, he certainly was...interesting.” Takaaki said, picking at the stubble around his face._

_Kiyotaka could feel his stomach drop. “Did you- did you not like him?”_

_“No, no! I mean, I liked him. It’s okay, Kiyotaka.” He hurriedly placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “And if I personally like him or not shouldn’t matter. As long as he makes you happy, that’s all that’s important to me, alright?”_

_Kiyotaka sniffed, laughing a little as he could see tears form in Takaaki’s own eyes. Their strong emotions did run in the family, after all._

_“You did scare him quite a bit, though.” He chuckled, walking away to clean up the small dinner table. “I mean, I know you’re a detective and all, but he’s not even like this around Kyoko.”_

_Takaaki hummed, helping Kiyotaka. “I may have had a few run ins with him and his brother back in the day.” He laughed as Kiyotaka spluttered. “Nothing bad, I swear. No hard feelings.”_

_It was silent for a moment, only the clinking of dishes filling the room, until Takaaki spoke up again._

_“I’ve noticed you’ve been...a lot happier lately. I know it’s been very hard with your grandfather, and your mother leaving, and all this other shit going on...I’m happy, because you’re happy now.” He paused to rub a hand across his face. “You’ve made all these friends, you’ve gotten into this school...I’m proud of you, is what I guess I’m trying to say.”_

_Kiyotaka stood where he was, frozen as tears slipped down his cheeks. “I-“_

_“Hey, hey, come on now- don’t cry.” Takaaki chuckled, throwing a towel at Kiyotaka. “Sorry for getting all sappy on you like that.”_

_Takaaki grunted as the other suddenly slammed into him, arms wrapping around Takaaki. Kiyotaka dug his face into his chest. “I promise, I’ll clear our name! I’ll clear our debts! I’ll get you to be happy for yourself and not for me, I swear on it!”_

_“Kiyotaka, you know you don’t gotta do that. All I want you to do is be yourself. You make me happy just by being here.” He wrapped his arms around his son._

_Kiyotaka squeezed at him harder. “I understand, but I need to! I need to prove that effort-“_

_“Can outsmart any genius.” Takaaki finished. “Alright, alright. Only if that’s what you want.”_

_“It is!”_

_Takaaki smiled. “I love you.”_

_Kiyotaka grinned into his chest. “I love you too!”_

Makoto panted, running around the halls, occasionally slamming into door frames as he frantically searched every room he could find. He didn’t know how the culprit could move that fast- to hide the bodies so fast.

And deep down, he was scared for the other two missing, too.

Only one of them could have done this...and he couldn’t imagine either of them doing it.

He slammed open the doors to the classroom on the third floor, wincing at the corresponding noise.

Makoto sighed as he walked out of the classroom, yelling as he almost walks into Celeste.

“Makoto…!” She exclaims.

Byakuya is standing next to her, frowning at him. “Why are you just standing there? We need to get to the repository.”

Makoto’s eyebrows shot up. “Huh? You mean…!?”

Celeste hummed. “...I found them. Hifumi and Hiro’s bodies had both been hidden in the repository.” Makoto numbly nods at the reminder that two of their friends had been killed.

“I've already told Hina and Sakura. We'll go on ahead…” Byakuya said, quickly turning around and leaving with Celeste in tow.

_Their bodies were in the repository…?_

Makoto bites his lip, shaking his head, and making his way to the art room. 

He walks past an unwavering Byakuya, hand going to the handle of the door to the repository. He froze for a minute, before he continued.

His mind fogged as his eyes caught on the two bodies. It felt like his mind was screaming. Only red filled his vision as he stared at his friends- the, oh god they’re never gonna move again, corpses of his friends. And then, the announcement started again.

Monokuma popped up soon after it ended, the permanent smile stretched on his face. “And so here we are! Without further ado, let me give you all the next Monokuma File!” He giggled. “I was going to hand them out when you found the bodies the first time, but I thought something might happen. It was really hard to resist, but...turns out I was right!”

“Just hand it over already.” Byakuya scoffed, hastily taking the file from the bear.

“Now, make sure to investigate with all of your mental might and prepare for the class trial! Okay, see ya later!” Monokuma gave a salute as he disappeared, leaving the others to themselves.

Byakuya hummed, pushing his glasses up. “Well then, now that we've found the bodies, all that's left is to uncover the culprit.”

“H-Hold on…” Aoi spoke up, voice trembling. “How can you be so...so calm...? I mean, they're _dead_ , ya know!?” Tears started gathering and falling down her face. “Dead! Gone forever! They're never coming back!”

Makoto clenched his fist as Aoi broke down, their situation finally hitting her full force. He knew what she was going through, knew it since he found Sayaka in his bathroom. But, he didn’t know what to say.

“Awful... This is all just too awful!” She dropped down hard onto her knees, Makoto and Sakura taking a step forward.

Aoi was hovering over Hifumi’s body, Hiro’s at her side. “Wh-Who would do this...? Why...? WHYYY!?” Her tears fell harder, splashing onto Hifumi’s face.

Makoto bit his lip. _If this were some world of make-believe, that might have been when Hifumi opened his eyes. But this wasn't a movie._

A large tear dropped on Hifumi’s cheek.

_This wasn’t…_

Hifumi groaned, startling everyone in the room out of the trance they were in while they watched Aoi. “He's alive again!?” Makoto yelped.

“Where...am I? Cold...so cold... Is...winter coming?” Hifumi croaked out, eyes squinted.

“H-Hifumi, wake up!” Aoi shouted, grabbing at his head.

Hifumi groaned. “...Huh? Ahh...that's right... I remember now... Hope's Peak…”

“Come on! You gotta wake up!”

“Before...I'd met you...all... I'd met...you all…” Hifumi coughed, voice growing more distant.

Byakuya scoffed, seemingly uncaring. “His memories are all blending together. He has nothing useful to offer us…”

Hifumi winced. “Ahh...the light... It's... reaching out...to me... Like...the tail...of a comet…”

Aoi bit her lip, sniffing as new tears came to her eyes. “Hey, Hifumi! Who was it? Who attacked you!? Who tried to kill you!?”

“Who...killed me...? That's right... I remember...their name…”

Makoto’s breath caught in his throat.

“Y...Yasu...hi...ro...Ta..k- ah-“

_“What’s with you and Kirigiri?” Kiyotaka yelped as Mondo leaned over his desk, almost falling out of his chair. “Geez- calm down, Kiyo!”_

_Kiyotaka huffed, straightening himself back up. “You shouldn’t surprise people like that!”_

_“Alright! Sorry!” Mondo huffed. “So you gonna answer my question?”_

_“Your question about ‘what is up’ with Kyoko and I?” Kiyotaka asked, emphasising the statement with air quotes. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”_

_Mondo blushed slightly. “Just- yer always hanging around her and callin’ her by her first name and stuff!!”_

_Kiyotaka blinked once, then twice._

_“Are you jealous?”_

_“What! No- I-“ Mondo spluttered, face growing redder by the second._

_Kiyotaka chuckled. “Jealousy is a valid emotion to feel, as long as it doesn’t consume you or fuel your anger, and you communicate with your partner or loved one why you feel this way.” He pauses. “Which you are doing right now!”_

_Mondo grumbled, hiding his face in the collar of his jacket._

_“But to answer your question, it’s simply because she’s my sister! That’s all it is.”_

_Even though Kiyotaka was awful with reading other’s emotions, he could feel Mondo’s disbelief blanket the atmosphere around them._

_“Seriously!?” He yelled. “Why didn’t you guys tell us?”_

_“Nobody asked?”_

_Mondo stared at him, then laughed, smiling. “That’s not exactly somethin’ ya ask people. I mean- you two don’t even look alike.”_

_Kiyotaka smiled back, humming. “We’re just half siblings, really. We had the same mother. Father took Kyoko in a little while ago so this was very much a surprise to me too!”_

_Mondo hummed. He leaned down, closer to Kiyotaka’s face, then..._

_Kiyotaka gently smacked one of his hands with his notebook._

_“Hey!”_

_Kiyotaka huffed, puffing out his cheeks. “May I remind you that we are still in a classroom? This is a place for learning, not for kissing, Mondo!!”_

_Mondo laughed, gently flicking the others forehead. “Alright, ya dork. But when we get back to your dorm ya better believe I’m kissing the fuck outta ya!”_

_“I would not oppose that.”_

Ishi- He- Kiyotaka jolted awake as he felt someone kick at his leg. His vision was partially covered, but he could see purple hair out of two small holes.

“Kyoko? What happened? Where am I!?” He asked frantically, beginning to panic.

He could vaguely see relief fill Kyoko’s eyes, before she forced the emotion away. “It’s alright, calm down. I see you’re back to Kiyotaka.”

Kiyotaka flushed as the fuzzy memories of Ishida came back to him. He couldn’t fully explain what that was. “I guess so...but...why can’t I see?”

Before Kyoko could answer, the doors to the room burst open, footsteps rushing over to them.

“Kyoko! And…” _That’s Makoto, right?_

“Um, hello Makoto!” He said, a little quietly.

“Hmm? Is he back to normal, now?” Celeste hummed in the background.

He could hear Kyoko huff. “I found Kiyotaka. He was jammed into the pool room locker. It looked like he was fast asleep, so I kicked him and woke him up.”

Kiyotaka sweated. “Thank you for that, I think?”

“Kyoko, where have you been all this time? You just disappeared all of a sudden, without a trace…” Makoto asked, concern laced in his voice.

“There was something I had to check up on.” She replied.

“What do you mean...?” Makoto asked.

There was a pause.

“Never mind.”

“I can't never mind...!” Makoto shot back.

“Never. Mind.” Kyoko bit out. _I feel like I shouldn’t be listening to this..._ Kiyotaka stood to the side, awkwardly. “More importantly…”

Very vaguely he could see Kyoko turn to face him. “First of all...Kiyotaka, you need to explain to us why you're dressed like that.”

 _What was he dressed like?_ “I have no idea? It’s, uhm, very vague but I can remember...falling asleep? And then I woke up in here when Kyoko kicked me.”

Byakuya scoffed. “I don't care. Do something about that costume. It pains me just to look at you.”

“What costume!? I don’t know what’s on me but I have no idea how to get it off!” Kiyotaka yelled back.

“Why would you make something that you can't take off by yourself?” Celeste asked.

“I didn’t make it!”

Kyoko hummed, disappearing from what little line of sight he had. “There's a clasp on the back that's keeping you from getting it off. It looks pretty sturdy. I don't think you can get it off on your own. We don't really have a choice. Let's help him.”

Kyoko and some others Kiyotaka couldn’t name at the moment helped him struggle out of the costume, everyone in the room becoming clearer as the pieces came off.

“Thank you all!” He bowed.

Aoi nodded before furrowing her eyebrows. “Isn't it kinda weird how perfectly the suit fits Taka...?” _What is she saying…? Why would that be of relevance?_

Celeste hummed. “More to the point, nobody but Taka would be able to wear that costume.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Don't bother trying to act innocent. The blueprints were in your room, as well.” Celeste frowned at him. _Blueprints? What?_ “In other words, it is obvious to everyone that you made this costume.”

Kiyotaka just stood there, hands balled up, confused. _What on Earth are they getting at!? I don’t understand I-_

Byakuya nodded, almost reluctantly. “That's true. I saw the blueprints myself.”

“Yeah...me too…” Makoto agreed, giving Kiyotaka a guilty look. What blueprints!?

“Then it's obvious... The one who put this costume on and went around attacking everyone was Taka!” Aoi concluded. _Attacking people!? I wouldn’t- I swear- I- would I…?_

He thought about his Ishida state, the memories were fuzzy, but he knew how he was acting. He very well could have attacked anyone like that-

Celeste snapped him out of his state. “Shall we tie him up and gag him?” _No no no no no I couldn’t hurt anyone I wouldn’t no no-_

“Good idea! We wouldn't want him killing anyone else…” Aoi muttered.

_Killed…? Did he…?_

_He didn’t want to go through that- to go through what Mondo went through- what did he do what did he do what did he do-_

Makoto piped up, noticing Kiyotaka’s unresponsiveness. “H-Hold on, guys. I think that's going a little far…”

Kyoko nodded. “He may be a suspect, but he deserves fair treatment.”

Kiyotaka gulped, finding it in himself to speak up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about...I didn’t attack anyone- I wouldn’t-“

Aoi seethed. “You can't talk your way out of this. It's been decided... You killed them!”

_He...did? Who?_

“You're the only one who can wear this costume. So who else could possibly be the costumed attacker!?” She continued.

_He would remember killing someone...right? Mondo didn’t remember the act but he knew-_

“Wait,” Makoto interrupted. “Uh- are we one hundred percent sure it can only fit Taka?”

_Why are you…defending me?_

“Fine, I’ll try it!” Aoi bit back. She picked up the discarded pieces, sliding them over her. If Kiyotaka were in a better mental state he would’ve found the scene to be a bit ridiculous, as she nearly fell over. “Ahh! See, look! See how loose it is? I mean, come on... I'm blind as a bat in here! Can't see my feet at all. I'm surprised you got anywhere in this thing!”

_How did he-_

“And not to mention--! You totally can't bend at the waist! Seems like a pretty obvious oversight…” Aoi nearly tripped over trying to bend it. “Now we know for sure, right? I mean, it seems pretty clear that nobody but Taka coulda fit into this dumb costume!”

Aoi huffed, taking off the costume parts and throwing them back down onto the floor. Kiyotaka continued to stare down.

Celeste giggled. “You are absolutely right. It seems this costume was made to fit Taka’s body exactly.”

“I don’t- I-“ He couldn’t find any words to defend himself with. “Uhm..who did I- who was killed?”

Makoto bit his lip. “W-Well... Two people were killed. Hiro and Hifumi…”

The continuing conversation was drowned out as the sentence played in his head. _Two..?_

First Mondo, his first friend was executed, then Hiro- his second proclaimed friend...he did kill him. He killed _them._ Why? Why did this keep happening? Why to him? Why why why why-

Was there something wrong with him?

Kyoko snapped her fingers in front of his face. “I’m sorry, but we can’t have you spiraling right now. I understand this is difficult to hear, but we need you at full capacity.”

“Oh?” Celeste piped up. “How would it be difficult to hear, if he did it?”

Kyoko shook her head slightly. “That hasn’t been decided yet, until we find out more he’s just a suspect.”

Celeste gave her a wicked smile, one that made Kiyotaka wince. “But, why are you so dedicated to protecting him? We’ve seen you talking to him when you think no one can see. Are you, perhaps, his accomplice? You did disappear for a very long time as well…”

“Enough. I don’t care about this petty squabble. All that matters is the investigation.” Byakuya, surprisingly, cut Celeste off.

“Agreed.” Kyoko nodded. “Kiyotaka, do you have anything that could relate to this case?”

Kiyotaka took a moment to come back to himself, thinking. _You don’t need to protect me if I did it- anyone that comes to close to me-_ “I, uh, last night I recall receiving this note to meet in the rec room at 1am, stating how they found an escape that Monokuma couldn’t know about.” He twisted his sleeves around his fingers. “The last thing I remember is standing in the rec room.”

Makoto tapped his chin. “Maybe...someone could’ve drugged him?”

“I don’t think so…” Aoi glared at the floor.

“No, hold on. He could be onto something. The nurse's office did have chemicals that could do that…” Kyoko cut in. Really? Maybe he…

No. He did this. He got too close to Hiro, out of selfishness. Just like with Mondo. Now he’s gotten them both killed- he’s not innocent, anything but it. He didn’t deserve his title…

He just hoped that Mondo would forgive him when he sees him again.

Kyoko’s voice brought him back out of his head. “Do you have the note with you?”

Kiyotaka startled. “Oh- I believe I put it in my pocket-“ He reached a hand into said pocket but...nothing. “Did I..lose it?”

“Of course you did.” Aoi huffed.

Celeste smiled, placing her hands under her head. “If you want us to believe you, you must produce evidence. Can you show us the note? I have no particular issue with what you claim, but if you want us to believe you, give us a reason.”

“I’ll...try to find it.” _There’s no point._

“Now then, shall we resume our investigation? There's no time to waste before the class trial begins.” Byakuya crossed his arms.

“Why do we need to keep investigating? We already know who did it…” Aoi replied, tears collecting at her eyes. “Why...? Why did you kill them? Tell us, Taka...!”

“I-“

“Was it really to get the money Monokuma offered us?” She pressed on. “Yeah, that must be it... You must be totally broke and that's why...!”

“I- I wouldn’t-“

Did he? Did he cave to the promise of money? She was right, his family was in deep dept...Is that why he did it? To help his family…? If he did it for such a selfish reason...his father would certainly never forgive him.

“That’s enough.” Kyoko said sharply, finishing the conversation. “Kiyotaka, I advise that you go look for this note, quickly. We only have so much time.”

Kiyotaka nodded, walking out of the room almost robotically.

There was no point in trying to find this _imaginary_ note, he knew he was guilty. He knew it was his fault.

Though, he couldn’t remember doing it- many of his memories as Ishida were very fuzzy. And, with what happened with Mondo…

It’s most certainly his fault. It’s better to get him out of the picture before he could hurt anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops  
> sorry taka  
> tumblr: @oowadas


	6. i’ve been burning with haste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If he was innocent, in what little possibility that he is, there’s nothing to prove it, they’d all still think he’s guilty.
> 
> Either he did kill two of his classmates, or he’s doomed the rest of them.
> 
> He’s not sure which option is worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all - i’m sorry i have updated in a while! i’ve been burned out writing wise and i wanted to write more in advance before posting more chapters  
> second of all - i’d just like to start this off with saying that spike chunsoft acknowledged my valentine’s day card where i called taka gay so, you’re welcome danganronpa fandom for making it canon
> 
> chapter title: baby hotline by jack stauber

Kiyotaka made it to the rec room, though he didn’t remember the walk there. His head pounded and his stomach ached, his legs still shaking.

He hadn’t eaten since...the trial. He’s just forgotten to...and didn’t want to.

He didn’t deserve it.

_Well, it wasn’t going to matter soon-_

“Heyyy!! Tick-tock! Hey, hey, come here!” Kiyotaka startled out of his thoughts as Syo’s voice yelled out, looking to find them. He finally spotted them near the pool table, hunched over a tiny hammer.

He walked over and knelt down next to them, the end of Mondo’s jacket bunching up on the floor, trying not to sweat as they squint their eyes at him, staring. “Well, well, well. It’s kinda obvious you’re being set up. Ohhhh, but by who? Seriously, who’s dumb enough to frame the cutie with the ultimate title that screams ‘Hey! I’m always innocent!’?” They cackled.

“I- What?” Kiyotaka simply asked. 

“Uh, a-doy! You’re being set up! Framed! Tricked! What, did that Ishida stunt fry up all your brain cells!?”

_I’m..I’m not being framed. I did it, I had to-_

Kiyotaka dug his nails into his palms to snap himself out of it. “I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken. I know I killed them-“

Syo slammed a finger into Kiyotaka’s face, making him close his mouth. “Shh! I’m thinking.” They retracted their finger, putting it on their chin. “You obviously remember everything you did as Ishida, right?” He nodded. “And you were like, conked out until Koko Puffs woke you up!”

Kiyotaka slammed his palms onto the floor.

“The specifics don’t matter- I killed them! At least, I killed Hiro because I selfishly got close to him just like I did with Mondo, and because of that he was killed just like him!” He shouted. As soon as the words came out, he snapped his mouth shut, eyes widening. “I’m...sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

Syo raised an eyebrow, tongue hanging out of their closed mouth. “So...you think you killed them because you became friends with them…?” They paused. Then, suddenly, they started cackling. “Oh! Oh, that’s so rich! Ticky, if that’s how the world worked, I wouldn’t be killing anyone!” They sighed, standing up, dusting off their skirt. “Take my advice or don’t, but if you keep going like that it’s going to be veryyyyy lonely for ya! See ya!” They skipped out of the room, giggling.

Kiyotaka remained where he was, hands clenching and unclenching over his thighs.

_They don’t see it how I see it...I’m like a plague. If anyone gets close they’ll suffer. I’m awful awful awful awful awful-_

He didn’t know how long he stayed in this trance, but eventually the monitor in the corner of the room flared to life, Monokuma’s face appearing on it.

“Are you excited? Are you pumped!? It's time for the class trial to begin!” He giggled. “Like the bright burst of fireworks, like the flash of a soul clashing with life and death...! And so, with no further ado...! Everyone please meet at the usual spot! Make your way to the red door on the first floor of the school! Puhuhu. See you soon!”

The monitor cut out and Kiyotaka sighed, pushing himself up off the ground. He wasted the whole investigation being asleep and then on the floor, feeling bad for himself.

He knew he deserved what was coming to him.

Even so, even if Syo was right, if he was somehow innocent- he didn’t find any letter, or anything to help secure his innocence.

If he was innocent, in what little possibility that he is, there’s nothing to prove it, they’d all still think he’s guilty.

Either he did kill two of his classmates, or he’s doomed the rest of them.

He’s not sure which option is worse.

With shaky legs, Kiyotaka makes his way down to the first floor, entering the room behind the large red doors.

The first thing he noticed that Makoto and Kyoko were missing, which shouldn’t be worrisome considering Makoto’s tendency to always be late, but he was still anxious.

The second was that Syo was waving wildly at him, beckoning him to come over. Despite everything that was going on, his doubt, his conflicted feelings, he smiled politely at them and walked over to their side.

The third was…

Everyone was looking at him.

He couldn’t quite grasp each emotion the varying stares carried, but it made him uneasy.

Byakuya just looked at him with a raised eyebrow, seemingly...curious? But why? Celeste just held her wicked smile, eyes lidded. Aoi was glaring at him and he...couldn’t exactly blame her. Sakura just had on her usual stony expression that he could never hope to see through.

He knew why they were staring at him. What he possibly- what he _did_ do.

But, that didn’t stop him from wanting them to just look away, to stop staring at him, to get these eyes off of him- _stop it stop it stop looking at me-_

Syo clapped their hands together loudly, the sound reverberating in the otherwise silent room. Everyone startled, their eyes darting to Syo, who was grinning. “God, you guys are boring as hell. Can’t we get some conversation going? Like-“

They paused when their eyes landed on Celeste. “Jesus Christ how big are those babies?” They pointed a pair of scissors at her hair. “Like, seriously! How do you walk through doorways with those fuckers!?”

“Pardon me-“

Celeste’s indignant response was cut off by Makoto and Kyoko entering the room, everyone turning to stare at them.

Kyoko gave Kiyotaka a small, slight nod, then turned to stand near the elevator.

Makoto looked at Kiyotaka like he wanted to say something, fingers fidgeting in his hoodie sleeves, but then-

Kiyotaka blinked as two Monokuma popped up. _Two?_ “Hello! (Hello...! Hello...)” He- they?- echoed.

Makoto startled, nearly backing into the wall behind him. “He's multiplied!?”

“Nope, not multiplication! It just looks that way cuz of an illuu~~usion! I'm moving so fast it only LOOKS like I've multiplied! Ke-heh-heh... Can you guys tell...which one is the real Monokuma!?”

Kiyotaka bit at his lip, too hard if the small taste of blood was anything to go by. Was this really the time for his games?

Kyoko seemed to share his sentiments, huffing. “Can we just get on the elevator already?”

“You're not playing along! (Along...! Along...)”

Byakuya scowled. “We're not here to play with you!”

The Monokuma _(s?) Is Monokuma already plural? This is really not the best time to think about that-_ pouted. “Okay, okay, fine!” The other Monokuma disappeared. “Then if everyone's here and ready to go, please board the pain train! Er...elevator. I'll see you guys down there!” He giggled, disappearing just like his clone.

“Okay then, shall we?” Byakuya questioned, not waiting for an answer as he moved to the elevator.

“I don’t think we really have a choice in the matter.” Kiyotaka said, though he stood frozen in place, not making a move to follow.

Aoi huffed. “Of course not! Not after what you did!”

Oh. Right.

He was responsible for making them go through this again...He really was awful-

“That reminds me.” Celeste spoke up. “Did you ever find the note?”

“I...I didn’t.” _There was no note to begin with you made it all up because you’re undeniably guilty._ “I’m sorry.”

Celeste hummed, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. “How unfortunate. Then it would seem we have our culprit.”

Kiyotaka didn’t respond, he just nodded and willed his body to not let the dam behind his eyes break. _You can’t cry you don’t deserve to cry you did this you’re guilty take responsibility and face the consequences._

“This isn't the place to talk about it. Save your accusations for when we get to the courtroom.” Kyoko said, something unrecognizable to Kiyotaka in her tone.

Byakuya nodded. “She's right. Let's get down there first. Then the story can really begin…” He walked into the elevator with an air of finality.

“Yeah, good idea.” Makoto added, awkwardly rushing into the elevator.

Kiyotaka sighed, clenching and unclenching his fists as he followed everyone else. He felt a familiar sense of dread as the doors shut and the elevator began its shaky descent.

Last time he was on here…

_“Hey! Earth to Kyoudai!” Kiyotaka startled as Mondo waved his hand in front of his face, his other hand snaking around his shoulders._

_“Oh, Kyoudai, did you say something? My apologies- I got lost in thought, I’m sorry, I deserve puni-“_

_He was cut off as Mondo pushed the hand in front of his face over his mouth. “Kyoudai, it’s alright. You don’t need to be punished just ‘cause you were thinking, alright? A lot of shit’s about to go down so I don’t blame ya.”_

_Kiyotaka nodded, pulling Mondo’s hand away from his mouth. “I’m sorry, it’s just a habit.”_

_“That’s alright. Not- not that it has to be a habit for you that’s kinda concerning- just, the other part, I-“ Mondo sighed, brushing his now free hand down his face. “I fuckin’ suck at this. And don’t say sorry, it’s not your fault I’m dumb as hell.”_

_Kiyotaka hummed. “You’re not dumb! Though, you can be oblivious and a little reckless...that’s mean, isn’t it? I’m so-“_

_“If you apologize one more time, I’m gonna break this fucking elevator I swear to god, robot murder bears be damned.”_

_Kiyotaka laughed. “Alright, alright…” Then, his expression hardened. “I didn’t think we’d have to do this again. I mean, after Kuwata...why would anyone do this? Why would they put everyone in danger like this?”_

_He looked up and saw a deep emotion he couldn’t for the life of him decipher make its way onto Mondo’s face. “Ah- they’re probably a fuckin’ idiot anyways. Once I get through with ‘em they’ll be no need for an execution!” He grinned, but it seemed...off._

_“Kyoudai!” Kiyotaka shouted, earning a few odd looks from those around them in the cramped elevator. “Though they have done something unforgivable,” Mondo winced, unseen by him. “That’s no need to act violently! Useless violence will get us nowhere!”_

_“Okay, yer right.” Kiyotaka could feel the other stiffen as the elevator lurched to a stop, the doors sliding open. “Uh, Kyoudai- Kiyotaka, listen- you’re really great, yeah? You’ve made this whole mess more tolerable and...yeah. You’re amazing. Don’t forget that, alright?”_

_Kiyotaka blinked, to keep himself from crying if anything. “Kyoudai...what’s brought this on?”_

_Mondo grumbled, face growing pink, though he still gave the other a smile. “I’m just feelin a little sappy, that’s all. I guess yer rubbin’ off on me.”_

_“Well...thank you! Very much! You’re great too, dare I even say- the greatest!”_

_Mondo snorted. “Thanks, dork. I, uh...I love ya, okay?”_

_Kiyotaka grinned. “I love you too!”_

He couldn’t understand what Mondo was going on about at the moment but now…

Mondo was saying goodbye, more or less.

And now he was back here, no Mondo, none of his surprisingly soft, encouraging words, no reassuring, gentle touches. He’s gone, executed, and soon he will be too but heaven knows if Mondo would forgive him when, if, he finds him again-

“Hey, hey! Ticky! Hellooooo!” Kiyotaka startled as Syo’s face appeared just inches from his. “Oh, good! You’re not dead!”

“Oh, uh, my apologies. I was just...thinking. You can p-“ He cut himself off, remembering Mondo’s words. Respecting his wishes would be the least he could do.

Syo raised an eyebrow, backing up. “Well, that was weird! Anyways, I figured with all your ‘ohhh nooo I’m definitely guilty’ crap, you wouldn’t defend yourself. So, never fear! Your trusty terrifying Syo is here to be your lawyer! I’ll cut down all those dumbasses arguments.” They paused, cackling. “Literally!”

Kiyotaka sweated. “That’s very nice of you, Syo, but I don’t need a defense, much less a lawyer. I don’t think you’re even qualified-“ He stopped when Syo poked him on the nose.

“Look, I get that you’re like, super fucking literal all the time, but you need to calm down. It’s weird, I wanna help you but I don’t know why.” They gasped. “Maybe I’m secretly in love with you-“

_Syo’s very nice but...I surely hope they aren’t._

They laughed. “Just kidding! I know you swing in the opposite direction of me! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Just let me help you, yeah?”

Kiyotaka hesitated.

“Isn’t that what Mondo would want?”

“Ngh-!” He couldn’t help the...feeling blossoming in his chest. Would Mondo truly want that? For him to defend himself...even if he’s guilty?

He couldn’t find an answer, as the elevator finally came to a stop. As soon as the doors slid open, Syo skipped out, laughing. Others began to follow.

Kiyotaka finally got himself to move forward, legs shaking, and just as he was about to exit-

Kyoko grabbed his arm, tight enough to stop him by not tight enough to hurt. “I know this trial will be hard for you, maybe even more so than the last one. Just..try to keep your head above water. Don’t drown under the accusations.” She walked away after that, leaving Kiyotaka on his own.

He gulped, then, took the final step out of the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short! i wanted to get in one more chapter before the trial (which is a whopping 12k words)  
> buckle up
> 
> tumblr: oowadas


	7. justification is killing me (but killing isn’t justified)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celeste hummed. “I am sorry to say, Taka, but we do have evidence...blueprints for the suit...parts we assume were used to build it... And all of it was found in your room. You have to admit, the evidence is quite compelling. It points to you as having created the suit and wearing it while committing crime after crime…”
> 
> Despite the fact that he doesn’t remember those blueprints, that suit...he knows she's right. He did it. He killed two of his classmates-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when i had a consistent update schedule? yeah me neither  
> JFJDH sorry things have been kinda wild for the past few weeks but now i have more time/motivation to write! so hopefully i won’t fall behind again!  
> chapter title is from “its been so long” by the living tombstone because i am back on my fnaf hyperfix bullshit

Monokuma popped up in front of the group, laughing. “Hmhmhm... When I see all of you gathered together like this...I realize just how few of you there are left! Your school life is slowly reaching its climax!”

_Was there really so little of them left?_

He looked over, next to Kyoko, right to the picture of Mondo with the giant red x over it. He still...wasn’t used to it. Wasn’t used to the absence of Mondo’s larger than life personality, his loud, yet soft and comforting, voice, his reassurances, just...he wasn’t used to him...not being there. Even after all this time.

He looked into the eyes of the picture.

They looked impossibly...dull.

First Sayaka, then Junko, then Leon, then Chihiro, then...Mondo..then Hiro and Hifumi…

Seven of them down.

And he was a reason those numbers dwindled.

He did something so morally unforgivable-

_But Mondo did it too._

Kiyotaka is struck frozen at the deep thought coming from the back of his head. No...no, Mondo- he didn’t mean to, he blacked out- it wasn’t a conscious decision.

_Then why does it have to be for you._

_You were passed out, you barely remember what you did as Ishida._

_Why are you holding yourself at a different standard than everyone else?_

Kiyotaka bit down on his lip as he willed the thoughts out of his head. It’s not the same, it’s _not the same not the same he has to be better-_

He doesn’t realize that the trial has already started until Aoi yells out. “We already know who did it!”

Monokuma tilted his head, questioning. “Wuzzat...?”

“It was Taka. He does not have an alibi for when the murders took place, and we found him in that suit.” Celeste stated, matter of factly. 

Aoi nodded. “Don't try and deny it! You killed them!”

“I-I…” He didn't know what to say. What could he say?

Celeste hummed. “I am sorry to say, Taka, but we do have evidence...blueprints for the suit...parts we assume were used to build it... And all of it was found in your room. You have to admit, the evidence is quite compelling. It points to you as having created the suit and wearing it while committing crime after crime…”

Despite the fact that he doesn’t remember those blueprints, that suit...he knows she's right. He did it. He killed two of his classmates-

“No, that’s wrong!” Makoto shouted out, startling Kiyotaka out of his mindset. “Are we sure Taka really made those blueprints?”

_Don’t defend me…_

“What do you mean...?”

“Well, take a look at this…” He pulled out a slip of paper. “It’s the detention slip Taka gave me when I was late to the meeting about the...uh, thing. The handwriting on the blueprints are obviously different, wouldn’t you say? When you compare it to the blueprints…”

“...there's no way you could think the same person made both of them.” Kyoko finished for him.

“Unless that person made it a point to disguise their handwriting…” Celeste countered.

Sakura hummed. “No, the differences are bigger than that, I think.”

Kiyotaka dug his fingers into his sleeves. “She’s right, I could’ve- I could’ve changed it, or I could’ve had different handwriting as Ishida, I-“

Syo blew out a loud, long raspberry. “Seems like a load of crap to me! Didn’t you write that little bad boy slip as Ishida?”

“...Yes, but still-“

“Ding ding ding! You didn’t write the blueprints!” Syo yelled.

“Why are you defending him?” Celeste asked, intertwining her fingers.

Syo shrugged. “Cause I wanna!”

Aoi bit her lip, hands fidgeting with her jacket. “So Makoto, Syo, are you saying you don't think Taka’s the culprit?”

_Why? why why why why why_

“And they’re not the only one. I think Taka is innocent, as well.” Byakuya stated, looking away as if it embarrassed him to agree.

“What…?” Makoto asked.

“But- but I was in the suit!” Kiyotaka shot out, doing everything he can to keep from banging his hands on the podium, or crying. _I’m guilty guilty guilty-_ “There was no other suit!”

“Could there have been another one?” Aoi asked. “Like, someone else in a different Robo Justice suit?”

Byakuya huffed. “The suspicious individual hidden within the suit... Go ahead, Makoto. Tell them who it was.”

Makoto sighed as he rapidly tapped his finger on his own podium. “Other than Taka...I can't think of anyone else it could have been. Obviously he was the one in that particular suit, and we never found any kind of second suit…”

“Exactly! So I can be the only one responsible for this heinous act!” Kiyotaka shouted, earning a guilty, sympathetic look from Makoto. _Don’t look at me like that don’t please I’m guilty-_

“Then there can be no doubt--Taka is the prime suspect.” Byakuya finished.

And, though he agreed with him, Kiyotaka couldn’t help but feel that quick turnaround was...odd.

Aoi spluttered. “That doesn't make any sense! You JUST said Taka didn't do it!”

Byakuya scrunched up his face, so annoyed that even Kiyotaka could tell. “It makes perfect sense. Taka was the suspicious individual in the suit, but he's not the culprit.”

He’s...not?

No...he has to be, he has to be guilty, no one else could’ve done it-

Sakura nodded, arms crossed over her chest. “So what you're saying is…”

Byakuya tilted his head up in a nod. “That's right. The culprit in this case has nothing to do with being in the Robo Justice suit.”

_...Huh?_

“But...but that’s not possible! I had to have done it-“

Byakuya cut Kiyotaka off. “I just said that it very well could be possible. Keep up if you want to clear your name.”

_But I don’t want to! I can’t!_

Kiyotaka scratched at the wooden podium, the sound felt like screeching in his ears, the wood digging into his fingers. He did it. He did it!

“And what reason do you have to make such a statement? You do have a reason, yes?” Celeste asked, a small smile on her face.

“Objection!” Syo screamed, slamming their hands onto the podium in front of them. “Ow.”

Aoi startled. “What the heck? What is there to object about!?”

Syo cackled, leaning forward. “Nothing, really! Just something I’ve always wanted to try!”

Byakuya narrowed his eyes at Syo before answering. “Of course. But before we get to that…There's something else we need to clarify first. So let's get that out of the way.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow. “What is it? What needs to be clarified?”

“We must clarify the method of transportation for Hiro’s lifeless body. It would seem that his corpse was moved using certain particular items. Makoto? Can you tell us what they were?”

Kiyotaka chewed at his lip, the skin breaking. He could see Kyoko silently tap at her lip, making him stop. He could taste copper in his mouth, but he didn’t mind at the moment.

Makoto hummed. “They were...a dolly and a tarp, right?”

Byakuya tsked.

_...Geez._

Makoto continued, unbothered. “So, let's see if I can explain...Hiro’s body disappeared from the equipment room, and then we rediscovered it in the repository... And when we found it for the second time, it was wrapped in a blue tarp, right? It was the same tarp that up until then was stored in the equipment room.” Kiyotaka rapped at his podium. He didn’t exactly know much about this, he never went into the equipment room before.

He didn’t?

_So...you’re innocent._

_No I’m not._

He shook his head as he tried to refocus on Makoto’s explanation. “I'm sure the dolly was in the equipment room when we first found Hiro’s body there. But when the body disappeared, so did the dolly. Later, when Hiro’s body reappeared in the repository...so did the dolly.”

Kiyotaka nodded on instinct, to let Makoto know he listened. Celeste soon spoke up. “In other words, you think they used the dolly to move the body, am I right? But are you sure you are not mistaken?”

“Huh..?” Makoto asked.

“Are you absolutely positive the dolly was in the equipment room when we found Hiro’s body? That dolly was made specifically for moving large objects between the repository and the art room.” She leaned forward. “It would be very strange indeed to discover it had made its way to the equipment room. Is it not possible that it was in the repository all along, and you simply didn't realize it?”

Byakuya huffed. “She's raised an objection. How do you respond?”

Celeste leaned back, hands coming to rest under her chin, smiling. “There is no shame in being wrong. Nobody expects much from you, anyway. We have all accepted the fact that you rarely understand what is going on around you.”

Kiyotaka clenched his fists. “Hold on! That is unnecessarily harsh!”

Celeste giggled. “You are not much better than him.”

Kiyotaka furrowed his eyebrows, stopping himself from responding. He _knows_ he’s bad in that area. 

Why was she acting like this?

“Are you absolutely positive the dolly was in the equipment room when we found Hiro’s body?” Celeste asked, eyes boring into Makoto.

“If you're asking for proof that the dolly moved, I have it right here... When I found the dolly in the repository, one of the wheels had a bloodstain on it. There was a pool of blood in the equipment room with a tire mark in it that matched the dolly wheel's tread. The killer probably rolled the dolly through the blood on accident as they wheeled the body out of the room. And as the blood dried on the tire, they moved the body into the repository.” Makoto explained.

Byakuya smirked. “Well, anyway. That was just something we had to get out of the way. Let's get back to the main subject…”

“Yeah! The subject of how Robo Justice didn't do it! Cuz if it's not a killer robot, then…” Aoi tapped her chin. “...what kind of robot is it!?”

Sakura smiled gently at the other. “I'm not sure that really matters…”

Byakuya ignored her, staring at Kiyotaka. If he was being honest, it...unsettled him. Like he was trying to look for something. “I'd be happy to explain why the occupant of the suit couldn't possibly be the killer. If you look back on how the body was transported, it will become immediately obvious.”

To be honest, Kiyotaka wasn’t sure how any of that would help. He already knew the truth.

“As we know, Hiro was killed in the equipment room. And from there, the body was moved to the repository, correct?” He continued.

Aoi scrunched up her face. “Yeah, the culprit wrapped the body in the tarp...then loaded it onto the dolly and wheeled it off, right?”

“Now, keep in mind that the dolly doesn't have a handle.” _Why was that so important?_

Aoi nodded. “Well, yeah, but even without a handle all you'd have to do is bend over-“

“You're absolutely right that you could push a dolly without a handle if you stoop down low.” Makoto cut in. “But if you were wearing that suit, do you think you could actually get into a position like that?”

_What is he talking about?_

“Wh-What do you mean...?”

“Think back to what you said when we were all checking out the suit together. Remember?” Makoto asked, gently. “When you're in that suit, not only can you not see your feet, but you can't even bend at the waist. Am I right about that?” _He’s wrong, he has to be wrong-_

Aoi looked down. “Now that you mention it...yeah…”

“It seems like it'd be awfully hard to push that dolly if you couldn't bend over…” Sakura added.

Celeste furrowed her eyebrows. “Well, what's to stop you from simply pushing the dolly with your feet?”

Makoto frowned. “When you can't even see your feet? You really think someone could kick the dolly all that way?”

They’re wrong...

“Yeah, it'd be totally impossible! Not that I can say for sure myself!” Syo cackled.

They’re wrong…

Byakuya pushed up his glasses. “On top of that, if you were wearing such a rigid, cumbersome suit it's very unlikely you would have the dexterity to go about wrapping the body in a tarp.”

They’re wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong-

“You’re wrong!” Kiyotaka shouted, startling the group. “The- these small details don’t matter! I killed them, I know I killed them! At the very least, I killed Hiro- just like I killed Mondo!”

After his outburst, the room grew uncomfortably silent. It surrounded the atmosphere, like the silence was going to make him suffocate if it went on any longer.

“What do you mean, like you killed Mondo?” Aoi asked, guilt covering her features- _stop stop don’t feel guilty for me I don’t deserve it._ “He was executed, wasn’t he?”

“I-“ He spared a glance at Kyoko, and immediately regretted it. There was no emotion on her face, nothing that he could decipher. “I got too close to Mondo out of selfishness, I took advantage of his kindness, and then he was killed. The same thing happened with Hiro! Can’t you see!? I did it! I killed them because, because-“ His vision was growing blurry, but if it was from his increasingly shorter breaths or tears growing and collecting around his eyes- he didn’t know. “There’s something wrong with me! So, please, just execute me before I can hurt anyone else!”

“Taka…” Makoto breathed. He hated the guilty tone in his voice, he couldn’t look at any of them or they’d look _guilty_ and he didn’t deserve it.

“That’s not how it works.” Kyoko said bluntly, ignoring the spluttering from Aoi. “You don’t kill someone from just being friends with them, you kill someone by killing them. By, accidentally or not, hurting them physically. Being close to someone doesn’t make you capable of killing them just from that closeness. Even if someone you love dies, that doesn’t make you responsible. The only person responsible is the one that physically killed them.”

Kiyotaka’s breath hitched as the tears finally flowed down his face, fingers painfully digging into the podium.

“Aww...this is sickeningly sweet.” Monokuma cooed. “Like, seriously I think I’m gonna vomit!” He laughed, breaking the atmosphere around them. “May I remind you that there’s a trial? One with a time limit? Get back to it!!”

“Um...right.” Makoto said. “So- Robo Justice, or Taka, couldn’t have done any of this.”

“You’re right.” Aoi said, guilt lacing her voice. “He couldn’t bend over.”

Kyoko nodded. “And, may I remind you, there was no way to get the suit off. The only clasp was at the back, out of reach of the wearer.”

“So, Robo Justice had no part in this murder.” Sakura stated.

_I’m...innocent?_

Kiyotaka sniffed, willing the tears to stop. Maybe...maybe he was. Maybe he was being foolish...Maybe…

Maybe, Mondo wouldn’t want him to think like that.

Kiyotaka smiled as he pictured Mondo, yelling at him to not blame himself for anyone else’s mistakes.

He knows it won’t be easy to get out of this mindset but...he’ll try. For his classmates. For Mondo. He’ll try his hardest-

“No, wait, just a second if you please.” Celeste interjected, startling Kiyotaka out of his thoughts. “Have you forgotten about the picture that I took?” Kiyotaka frowned. The picture…? “You all got a good look at it, did you not? The image of Hifumi being dragged away by Robo Justice? If whoever was in that suit is not the culprit, how do you explain that? Besides, so you remember what the now deceased Hifumi said...?” She recounted how he claimed to be attacked by the costumed man. “So long as those facts exist, the proper conclusion is beyond question. The individual inside the suit and the culprit are one and the same. It was Taka, without a doubt.”

“W-Wait-“

“It's still far too early to reach that conclusion.” Kyoko said. “Besides, there's no hurry to decide who did it. Before we rush to a verdict, shouldn't we explore every single possibility? Instead of seizing on one viewpoint, the truth is uncovered by analyzing things from every angle.”

Sakura nodded. “Perhaps, but where do we go from here?”

“Let's review this series of unfortunate events from the beginning. Maybe we'll uncover something new…”

Syo cackled. “What a pain in the ass!”

“Uh, in less...harsh words, I agree. What would this accomplish?” Kiyotaka spoke up.

Sakura nodded, her expression remaining stoic. “I don't disagree, but our lives are on the lines. If this is what it takes, we have to do it.”

“Plus, maybe we'll get to find out where the heck Kyoko was when everything went down…” Aoi added.

Kiyotaka nodded, staying silent. There wasn’t much he could do to add to the conversation at this point, he was asleep the whole time.

He just hoped the others could make some sense of this situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some development for taka this chapter! he’s finally doing a bit better. 7 chapters in and now he’s finally just a little happy. god  
> things Will get better from here though!


	8. and which the pony is a phony was a lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko shook her head. “Rather than a single series of events, I think we have to consider each murder a separate situation. And from there, we can uncover the contradictions surrounding all of them. Now then, let's get started, beginning with what happened to Hagakure...”
> 
>  _What happened to Hiro…_ Kiyotaka bit his lip. He couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around any possible contradictions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM NOT DEAD SURPRISE  
> jfjfhd i’m so sorry i’ve been having like a motivation block for this fic and it suddenly came back full force and i was gonna write some more in advance before i updated again but i saw!!! this fic reached 1000 hits and almost 100 kudos so!! to celebrate i’m updating early!! (for me. it’s been like. a whole month)  
> anyways! this chapters title is from stuff is way by they might be giants!  
> edit 5/3: APPARENTLY I FUCKED UP THE FORMATTING AND I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL NOW IM SO SORRY FJFJDH

Sakura hummed. “Alright then, let's take another look back at what happened. I suppose we could start with this morning…” She sighed. “Four of us gathered together in the dining hall--Naegi, Asahina, Kirigiri, and myself. We waited there for quite a while, but nobody else showed up. So we went to look for everyone. That was around 8 a.m.”

Aoi rocked forward, arms waving around. “And as soon as we split up, Kyoko went missing.”

“Soon after that, Asahina found Celeste in the rec room, and quickly came to get Naegi and me.” Sakura continued.

Celeste nodded. “It seems I was unconscious for about an hour after I was attacked by my mystery assailant. I know it was an hour because I remember being attacked a little after 7.” She looked down.

“That was when we saw Celeste’s picture and discovered that her assailant had been wearing a strange costume. As it turns out, it was Robo Justice... It also soon became clear that this same Robo Justice had abducted Yamada.” Sakura paused, thinking. “We were soon joined in our search by Togami and Fukawa, and then went on to find Yamada in the library. He was injured, so we took him to the nurse's office and resumed our search for the suspect. But not long after leaving the nurse's office…”

Makoto spoke up. “Celeste told us she saw something moving at the top of the stairs, so we decided to split up and search the 2nd floor. And soon after that…”

“I saw someone moving around on the 3rd floor, and I yelled out to everyone as soon as I did.” 

“And then…” Makoto frowned. “We heard Hifumi scream. At that point we decided to divide up into two groups. Celeste, Hina, and I went back to the nurse's office while Sakura, Byakuya, and Toko chased after the suspect.”

Kiyotaka bit on his tongue, a bit painfully, to keep himself focused and not spiral into his mind's path of self-doubt and blame, he knew what was going to be brought up next.

“When we got back to the nurse's office, we found Hifumi...dead.” Makoto paused for a second, frowning. “And that's when we heard the body discovery announcement. I left Celeste and Hina there and headed back to the 3rd floor, to let the others know what had happened.”

_It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault._

He bit back the gasp at the reassuring thoughts, the voice sounding...familiar. Like-

He almost chuckled, almost. Maybe he really was carrying Mondo with him.

“Meanwhile,” Sakura spoke up, “we had just discovered Hagakure’s body, in the equipment room. We must have found both bodies at almost exactly the same time because we heard the same announcement not long after we'd discovered his body.”

Kiyotaka hummed. It probably wasn’t as deep as he was making it out to be...but… _why combine the announcements?_

Makoto nodded. “And that's when I told you guys about Hifumi. Then the three of us headed for the nurse's office. But right after we left the physics lab we ran into Celeste, who'd arrived after us, and she told us something very surprising.” Kyoko raised an eyebrow. “Uhm- the uh- the surprising thing being that Hifumi’s body went missing. We rushed back to the nurse's office and saw that she was right.”

“Then we remembered we'd left Fukawa passed out in the equipment room, so we hurried back again. But when we got there, we discovered that now Hagakure’s body had _also_ gone missing. Next thing we knew, we were searching the school for two missing dead bodies. And after some time…”

Byakuya huffed, cutting Sakura off. “Celeste informed us that she'd found the bodies, and we all headed to the repository which is where we rediscovered the corpses.”

Makoto nodded, fingers tapping at his podium. “...I think that about covers it.”

“I see... The whole thing sounds exceptionally complicated.” Kyoko hummed, and Kiyotaka certainly couldn't disagree with her. “It certainly seems to me that these are not a simple series of connected events.”

“Okay, well...if that's true, then what?”

Kyoko shook her head. “Rather than a single series of events, I think we have to consider each murder a separate situation. And from there, we can uncover the contradictions surrounding all of them. Now then, let's get started, beginning with what happened to Hagakure...”

 _What happened to Hiro…_ Kiyotaka bit his lip. He couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around any possible contradictions.

Kyoko brought her hand to her chin. “So, regarding Hagakure’s death... I wonder if he died before Yamada... Or perhaps it was after?”

“Is the order really that important in this situation?” Kiyotaka asked, trying to make himself at least a little involved in the trial.

“Besides, we already know what order they were killed in!” Aoi exclaimed. “Hiro came last!”

Sakura raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

Kiyotaka couldn’t deny that he was also curious. Was there some sort of signifier at the scenes? How did she know…

_Don’t start doubting your classmates now!_

“Because of the numbering of the Justice Hammers-“

“Hold on,” Makoto cut in. “there's no reason to assume that the hammers were used in the same order as their numbers! If anything, that's just another way the killer tried to disguise their actions.”

Kiyotaka clenched his hands into fists. Maybe...what other reason would they have to number those…’Justice Hammers’? But...why would they need to cover up who was killed first?

“So you're saying the culprit wanted us to think the hammers were used in order but in reality Hiro was killed before Hifumi?” Byakuya huffed. “Okay then, let's see the proof.”

“I've got it!” Makoto shouted, chuckling nervously at the stares he got “It’s the wristwatch I gave Hiro! See? Look. It broke with the hands pointing just past 6 o'clock.” He showed them his Monopad, displaying a picture of the broken wristwatch.

Kyoko nodded. “It must have gotten broken when he was attacked by the killer. Because, if you remember, last night he looked at it and started complaining about it being nearly 10 o’clock.” She explained. “So if it wasn't broken after 6 last night, then he must have been attacked around 6 this morning.”

“And that would be his official time of death.” Makoto finished.

 _6 am…_ Kiyotaka bit at his bottom lip. _Just a few hours after I went to the rec room...if I hadn’t so foolishly listened to that note, selfishly thinking it would get me-_

_I could’ve saved him…_

_Stop._

Kiyotaka sniffed, trying to force the thoughts out of his head, trying to reassure himself that he couldn’t of known that this would happen.

Sakura’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “But if that's true, then he was killed well before Yamada...”

“And before Celeste was attacked this morning, which happened around 7.” Makoto frowned.

Kyoko hummed. “That's right. Hagakure was killed before any of the other incidents took place.”

“That simple fact slipped past all of us. We made the wrong assumption about the order of events all because of those Justice Hammers.”

Byakuya scoffed, smirking. “That's exactly why the culprit wrote the numbers on each hammer, and had them increase in size. That way, when we saw how they were used in each incident, we'd easily make that wrong assumption.”

Kiyotaka frowned. Is now really the best time to be so uppity?

“Now, if Hagakure was killed around 6, then everyone's alibis for his murder go out the window. Because when he was killed, we hadn't met up in the dining hall yet.” Kyoko explained.

Sakura nodded. “That may be true in the case of Hagakure’s murder, but all of our alibis still hold true for Yamada’s death.”

“That's right... With him at least, we're all safe…” Aoi said. “When we heard Hifumi screaming, we were all together. Except for Taka and Kyoko…Then we all ran down to the nurse's office, and that's where we found his body…”

Syo nodded, grinning. “That's totally true! We're all in the clear! But I seriously doubt the ultimate kiss up that’s most suspected right now or the hot mysterious girl could do it, that’s too obvious! Ohh, what if Cherry’s ghost came over and killed Huffy for all his gross stuff with that computer!?” They yelled.

“What?” Kiyotaka and Kyoko asked, or yelled, in Kiyotaka’s case, at the same time.

“...Anyway,” Sakura started. “we all have rock-solid alibis for when we heard Yamada scream. Since all of us were there together, clearly none of us could have killed him.”

Celeste nodded. “And it does not stop there. There was also the moment when we discovered the body had disappeared... When his body vanished from the nurse's office Hina and I were in the bathroom together, while everyone else was in the equipment room, correct?” She gave her usual wicked smile. “And then there's the disappearance of Hiro’s body from the equipment room... At that time, we were all gathered together in the nurse's office because of Hifumi going missing.”

“Well, don't forget, I was passed out in the equipment room the whole time!” Syo added.

“Well, then, could Syo have done it?” Aoi asked.

Kiyotaka tapped his fingers against his podium. “I don’t think they could get up and then move the bodies so fast.”

“Even if they could pull that off, there's no way they could have done the same with Hifumi's body. Because, as we just established, they were passed out in the equipment room when his body disappeared.” Byakuya frowned.

“In other words, it is impossible that any of us could have killed Hifumi, or moved either of their bodies. On the other hand, Taka and Kyoko had disappeared. So they most certainly could have done those things.” Celeste added.

Kiyotaka bit his lip. Suspicions were back on him again…

Makoto frowned. “Hmm... So what now, Kyoko?”

Kyoko turned to him, thinking. “For now, we can't get fixated on who did it, or we'll just keep going around in circles.” She frowned. “So instead of "who" I propose we start talking about "how"... In particular, I think we need to figure out how Yamada’s body got moved.”

“That's true. We searched everywhere, but we couldn't figure out how to explain his body disappearing. And according to what Celeste said…” Makoto furrowed his brows. “His body apparently disappeared in the one minute her and Hina took their eyes off it. But to carry that much weight from the 1st floor up to the 3rd, in that short amount of time…”

“But-“ Kiyotaka cut in. “Surely that cannot be possible!” _To do that in such a short amount of time...no one could possibly-_

Kyoko smiled slightly. “Well, what if I told you there was a way to make the impossible possible?”

_What!?_

“What? How!?” Aoi yelled.

“If the dead body...were to move itself.” She explained.

The room was silent for a moment...and then-

“Huh...?” Makoto asked.

Aoi shuddered. “Th-The dead body m-moved on its own!?”

“Like...a ghost?” Kiyotaka asked, confused.

Byakuya scoffed, and it took every ounce of Kiyotaka’s self control to tell him to not be rude. “I don't think it has anything to do with the occult. I think what she's implying is we thought Hifumi was dead, but perhaps in reality he was still alive.”

_He was- what!?_

“He was...alive!?” Aoi yelped. Kiyotaka couldn’t wrap his head around it. How would he still be alive? _Why_ would he still be alive?

Sakura seemed to get her thoughts together quicker than them. “Are you saying Yamada wasn't carried out of the nurse's office, but simply walked out on his own?”

“But I mean...we found his body! He was dead!” Aoi exclaimed.

Byakuya smirked. “Perhaps he was simply playing dead.” Kiyotaka bit his lip. Why would he fake being dead? What would he benefit from it?

He startled as Celeste growled from her podium. “That... It isn't possible...!” She blinked, then regained her usual smile.

Still...she was right. Hifumi couldn’t have been alive… _right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we’re almost thru the trial!!  
> stay safe everyone!!!
> 
> tumblr: oowadas


	9. divine judgement awaits you'll never get that far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NFNNDND okay so apparently last chapters format was really messed up and i didn’t notice till now gjfjdh but it should be fixed !!  
> also we’re finally back onto a. semblance of a schedule!!  
> chapter title is from the “bad girl online” cover by oktavia

“Are you saying that when we first found Yamada in the nurse's office...there's a chance he was actually still alive?” Sakura asked Byakuya.

“Is that even possible?” Kiyotaka cut in. “If so, why would he fake his own death!?”

Celeste giggled. “No...it does not matter because it is simply impossible. Hifumi was dead, without a doubt.”

“And you know that how?” Kyoko asked.

“Surely you heard the body discovery announcement along with the rest of us…” Celeste frowned. “Hifumi's dead body had been found...and that is why the announcement was made.”

Kyoko shook her head. “Are we really so sure about that? Maybe the announcement was intended to signal someone else's discovery…”

“You mean, if Hiro’s body was miraculously found at the same time…?” Kiyotaka asked.

“Hold on,” Makoto interrupted. “You’re onto something...was the body discovery announcement that was made really intended for Hifumi?”

Celeste huffed, rolling her eyes. “Of course it was. The announcement played right after we discovered his body.”

“Maybe, but like Taka suggested, that was also the same time that Hiro’s body was found.”

Byakuya nodded. “That's right. It wasn't long after finding his body that we heard the announcement.”

“So there's a good chance we've made a mistake in there somewhere. I think we've confused whether the announcement was for Hifumi or Hiro.” Makoto finished his explanation.

Kiyotaka bit his lip. “So, Hifumi really was alive when they found Hiro’s body?”

“First of all,” Byakuya started, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “if two bodies had been found, there really should have been two announcements.”

Celeste shrugged. “Maybe Monokuma simply got lazy and rolled them together into one…”

Kiyotaka saw Kyoko squint her eyes slightly at Celeste out of the corner of his eyes. He had to admit she was acting strangely...was Kyoko onto something?

“What do you say, Monokuma? Any comment?” Byakuya asked, glaring at the bear.

“Well, it's a very sensitive issue, so I can't go into too much detail…” Monokuma smiled, starting to giggle. “But what I can say about the body discovery announcement is that...it's only broadcast when three or more people find a dead body for the first time!”

Kiyotaka sighed. “I don’t think that necessarily answers our question.”

“No, actually, that was plenty.” Byakuya said.

“What do you mean?” Kiyotaka asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Byakuya smirked. “He said it's only broadcast when a body is discovered "for the first time." Which means even if we find the same body again later, he won't make the announcement again.” A pause. “If that's true, then why was the announcement made again later on?”

“Huh? Later on?” Syo asked, seemingly as out of the loop as Kiyotaka.

Makoto nodded. “Exactly. We heard the body discovery announcement twice.” _Twice?_ “We heard it a second time in the repository when we rediscovered the two bodies. It didn't seem weird at the time...but it contradicts what Monokuma just told us, doesn't it?”

“Exactly.” Byakuya agreed. “If we were actually "re"discovering both bodies, the announcement shouldn't have played.”

“Then in reality, when the two dead bodies were rediscovered, one of them was actually......being discovered for the first time!” Makoto finished.

_So it’s true…?_

Kiyotaka dug his fingers into the podium. The _how_ makes sense...but not the _why!_

“So when we found Yamada the first time in the nurse's office, he wasn't actually dead yet... Meaning he wasn't actually found dead until we came upon him in the repository.” Sakura explained.

Makoto nodded, tapping a finger on his chin. “And that's just part of it... There's one other thing that leads me to believe he was still alive in the nurse's office…”

“Oh! Oh! I know! I know!” Syo yelled.

“You do!?” Kiyotaka asked.

Syo nodded. “Because he was super good at playing dead! Badda-bing badda-boom!” They exclaimed, breaking out into a cackle.

“That is the worst logic I have ever heard…” Celeste sighed.

“It’s not the most logical reasoning, but you shouldn’t dismiss them like that!” Kiyotaka yelled half-heartedly. It seemed the lack of...generally taking care of himself was finally catching up to him.

”Whatever, I do not think there's anything that can prove he was still alive.” Celeste huffed.

Kyoko hummed. “Okay then, let's take another look at the events surrounding the discovery of his body. Then it should become clear whether he was really alive or not.”

“This whole thing is pointless…” Celeste sighed, looking down to the floor.

Kiyotaka frowned. _Is she just upset about the deaths? It seemed like she didn’t really care for any of the victims though...maybe because she was attacked by the culprit?_

He just couldn’t figure her out.

“Well here's one thing we do know... The first time we found Hifumi's body was in the nurse's office. And then, while me and Celeste were in the bathroom his body disappeared!” Aoi exclaimed.

Byakuya nodded. “And the next time we saw his body it was in the repository.”

“But when you compare his body before being moved, and his body after being moved... Other than the change in how it was positioned, there was no notable difference-“

“Wait,” Makoto interrupted Celeste, “there was one clear difference between Hifumi in the nurse's office and the repository...His glasses. That fact alone proves that he was only playing dead in the beginning.”

Celeste stayed silent for a moment before responding. “...Perhaps you'd like to fill the rest of us in?”

Makoto chuckled nervously. “When we found Hifumi in the nurse's office, his glasses were covered with blood. But when we found him again later in the repository they were spotless.” He paused for a moment. “And! I found the item he used to wipe them clean in the nurse's office trash can!”

Makoto turned his Monopad to show them the picture of a glasses cleaning cloth with a brightly colored cartoon character.

_Wait…_ Kiyotaka thought hard. _Haven’t I seen that character somewhere?_

“It was a glasses cleaning cloth featuring a certain cartoon mascot! One look at the bloodstain on the cloth should make things clear. This piece of cloth was used to wipe Hifumi's glasses clean.” Makoto explained. “And the mascot on the cloth is the same one that's on the digital camera, right?”

“That’s right!” Kiyotaka exclaimed. “It has the exact same character as the one on the camera we found in the physics lab!”

Makoto nodded. “And whose digital camera was it? Hifumi's, of course…”

“The character was...Princess Piggles, from "Demon Angel☆Pretty Pudgy Princess" I think…” Aoi said. Kiyotaka wasn’t even sure how she pronounced part of that show’s name.

“I highly doubt anyone but Hifumi would have brought something like this to school…”

Sakura hummed, nodding. “I see your point. And the only people here who wear glasses are…”

Byakuya expression turned into a scowl. “I wouldn't be caught dead using a tacky piece of garbage like that.”

“A few tissues is all I need to keep my glasses clean!” Syo exclaimed.

“Then there's no question--it belonged to Hifumi.” Makoto said.

“But what does this mean regarding the case?” Kiyotaka asked. By any means, he wasn’t _not_ smart, but sometimes it felt as if some people, like Makoto, Byakuya, and Kyoko moved too quickly during these trials.

“What it means is, the blood on his glasses was wiped away using his own glasses cleaning cloth.” Makoto answered.

Celeste huffed, twirling her hair around her finger. “Even if that is true, it does not mean he wiped the blood off himself.”

“But who would benefit from a clean pair of glasses, other than the glasses' owner?” Makoto retorted.

Sakura nodded. “That's a good point…”

“So...he cleaned his own glasses?” Kiyotaka asked. All these twists were starting to make his head hurt even more.

“So let's assume that Yamada was still alive in the nurse's office. He pretends to be dead, then when he's alone, he wipes his glasses clean so he can see... Then he stands up and walks out on his own two feet.” Kyoko explained. “And with that, the impossible task of moving his copious corpse...becomes possible, wouldn't you say?”

“But then, if he was just pretending to be dead…” Aoi started. “...what was with all that blood? Was it paint or somethin'?”

“The fridge in the nurse's office contains packs of blood for emergencies. He probably used one of those.” Kyoko said.

“He figured if he was gonna play dead, he should go all-out! So he just dumped it everywhere! But he got crazy with it, and had to wipe his glasses off when he was done! God, what an idiot!” Syo cackled wildly.

“And if Yamada was still alive at that point, the disappearance of Hagakure’s body is easily explained.” Kyoko said. “It should be perfectly obvious who must have moved Hagakure’s corpse…”

“It could only have been Hifumi.” Makoto explained.

“But why would he do that? _How_ would he do that!?” Kiyotaka asked, ignoring the growing aching in his head.

Byakuya huffed, shaking his head. “While we were all gathered in the nurse's office, he went to the equipment room and took Hiro’s body…”

“That also explains how the door to the repository got locked.” Makoto said.

“The door was locked?” Syo asked.

“Well, after the bodies disappeared, we all went looking for them, right? So me and Sakura headed for the repository. But when we got there, the door was locked!” Aoi exclaimed, huffing.

Makoto nodded. “And the repository door can only be locked from the inside. Which means, when Hina and Sakura got to the repository, someone was already inside.”

“And it could only have been Hifumi, who'd just finished stashing Hiro’s body there.” Byakuya smirked.

“He convinced us all he was dead, and when he saw his chance, he dragged Hagakure’s body to the repository. So, Yamada wasn't just another victim in this case--he was one of the assailants.” Kyoko finished her explanation.

“B-But...that means he took part in the murders...!” Sakura exclaimed.

“Are you saying he killed Hiro!?” Kiyotaka yelled.

“I...I just can't believe it…” Aoi said sadly, turning pale.

Kyoko frowned, sighing. “If you're having trouble, would you like me to show you one more piece of evidence?”

“There’s more evidence?” Kiyotaka asked weakly.

Kyoko nodded. “Oh, absolutely. The single biggest fact pointing to his involvement has yet to be revealed. You know what I'm talking about, right Naegi? The item he took off Hagakure’s lifeless body?”

“You're talking about the note Hifumi had hidden away, aren't you?” Makoto asked, to which Kyoko nodded.

“A...hidden note?” Aoi asked hesitantly.

“That's right. We found it stuffed in his pants.” Makoto said.

“What!? In his…”

“...pants!?” Syo finished for Aoi.

“Hrm. Yes. His pants…” Sakura nodded.

_What’s wrong with that?_

Makoto chuckled nervously. “Okay, well, forget about the pants for now. Take a look at what the note says…’I found a hole maybe we can use to escape. Monokuma can't find out, so don't tell anyone else for now. Let's meet in the equipment room at 6 a.m.’.”

Kiyotaka perked up at that. “That’s the note I was telling you all about!” _So...it wasn’t fake then. Wait, but-_ “Except mine said to meet in the rec room at 1 a.m…”

“I see... Then this note isn't the same one Taka got.” Makoto mumbled.

“Then who else would it be for?” Kiyotaka asked.

“The killer must’ve gotten in touch with another person besides Taka. And that person could only have been...That's right! Hiro! The killer used this note to draw out Hiro and murder him!” Makoto exclaimed.

“Hello! Over here! Objection! Objection!” Syo yelled. “I don't really understand what's going on, but...Hifumi had that letter, right? So whoever wrote it wasn't drawing out Zero! They were drawing out Huffy!”

“Ummm...just to be clear, Zero is Hiro and Huffy is Hifumi...right?” Aoi asked.

“Ugh, yes!” Syo groaned loudly. “Why must you ruin it EVERY TIME!?” They huffed. “Huffy had the note, right? Then the person it was intended for must have been Huffy!”

“But remember what the note said. What time did it say to meet?” Kyoko said.

“6 a.m., I believe…” Sakura recalled.

Syo blew out a puff of air. “The time doesn't matter! The note has nothing to do with Zero!”

“No, there absolutely is a connection!” Makoto countered.

“Wh--!? What the hell are you talking about!?” Syo yelled, pointing their scissors at Makoto.

“The note said to meet at 6 a.m., which is the same time Hiro was murdered. We've already proven that using his wristwatch. But there's more--look where the note says to meet.” Makoto said, displaying the note on his Monopad, showing it to the others. “The equipment room, right?”

“Which is where Hagakure was killed. I see…” Sakura nodded.

“So, Hiro was murdered at both the time and place written in the note. I think that should be plenty to show that this note was definitely meant for Hiro!” Makoto explained.

“Hmm...well, when you put it like that...No further objections!” Syo said, laughing.

“So someone used that note to trick Hiro...just as they tricked me.” Kiyotaka concluded. “That’s just awful! Why would someone play on a person's hope to escape!?” Kyoko eyed Kiyotaka. _It may have not been why I followed the note…but everyone knew how badly Hiro wanted to get out of here…_

“But if they gave the note to Hiro...what was Hifumi doing with it?” Aoi asked.

Syo cackled. “Stuffed down his pants, no less!”

“Most likely,” Makoto paused for a moment. “Hifumi stole it off Hiro’s corpse after he died.”

“Huh? He stole it...?”

“Where's your proof? Go ahead, show us.” Byakuya said, looking down his nose at Makoto. Kiyotaka held back a huff. Why was he like this?

Makoto scrolled through his Monopad. “When I searched Hiro’s body, I saw that his lifeless hand was gripping a small scrap of paper. If I'm right about this, the sheet of paper this piece came from is…” He paused for a moment, lost in thought. Then, “I knew it! It fits perfectly with the note we found hidden on Hifumi!”

“Then Hiro’s scrap and Hifumi's note…”

“Yup. They're from the same piece of paper.” Makoto finished for Aoi.

Kyoko hummed. “Yamada had the note meant for Hagakure, while Hagakure’s corpse still grasped a small piece of that note... There's only one way to explain it…”

“Hagakure died clutching the note. Yamada tried to free the note from his death grip leaving behind only one small scrap.” Sakura recalled. “Did I get all that right?”

“That means Hifumi knew the note was important…” Byakuya said.

“Exactly. Which proves that he was an accomplice in the murder.” Kyoko explained.

Kiyotaka bit his lip. “So, Hifumi faking his death was all an act to help with the killer’s plan? Then...who killed Hifumi?” _And why would he become an accomplice? Why frame me?_

“Whoever did is the mastermind...the true killer.” Sakura said.

“He was killed in the repository, so he must have been killed not long after transporting Hagakure’s body.” Kyoko said, seemingly lost in thought.

Sakura nodded “So he must have been killed after Hagakure’s body vanished but before we found both bodies in the repository…”

“During that time, we'd all split up and were searching for Hiro’s missing body. In other words, during that time...none of us have alibis. Except for, ironically, Taka, who was passed out in that...thing.” Byakuya said.

“Wait, but me and Sakura were together!” Aoi exclaimed in a panic.

“Stop trying to steal the spotlight, ya stupid walrus!” Syo yelled.

“Who are you callin' a walrus!?” Aoi yelled back.

Kiyotaka cut in. “Don’t be rude to your fellow classmates! Anyways, something’s bothering me about Hifumi being killed in the repository.”

“And what might that be?” Celeste hummed.

“What weapon did they use to kill Hifumi?” Kiyotaka asked.

“The weapon...?” Sakura asked.

“I mean..the Monokuma File stated that he and Hiro had similar injuries.” Kiyotaka clarified. “But, no one has brought up a new Justice Hammer, or a previous one at the repository. Unless they grabbed one from either the nurse's office or equipment room and put it back….but wouldn’t that be a huge risk for the culprit?”

Byakuya raised his eyebrows at him. “I’m surprised you didn’t completely lose your mind after that asinine ‘fusion’ stunt.”

Kiyotaka sighed, but ultimately kept his mouth shut. He had to admit it did seem weird...but at least he was coping.

“He's right, though.” Sakura agreed. “I don't understand it, either. The Monokuma File makes it clear that they were killed using similar instruments... But if the hammers were already laying around those other rooms…”

“So the question is, how could the culprit have gotten their hands on either of the hammers? Personally, I haven't a clue.” Celeste said.

“So which hammer was used to attack Celeste? Number one or number two!?” Aoi asked, bouncing around at her podium.

Makoto shook his head. “Those were accounted for in other rooms, too. And I don't think either one is big enough to kill someone.”

“Um...then, uhh…” Aoi’s voice faltered off.

“...Is it not possible they used a different weapon?” Byakuya asked.

“When they have the exact same injury? Is that really possible?” Kiyotaka countered.

“So then, what was used to kill Hifumi...?” Sakura thought aloud. “Was it Justice Hammer 3? Maybe Justice Hammer 4?”

Celeste hummed, eyebrows furrowed. “Well, whatever it was, there's one thing we have to figure out.” She spoke up. “How was the culprit able to move around so freely with the weapon? How did nobody witness them carrying it?”

“Sounds like a Justice Hammer 5 is about to make its appearance! Check out murdergear.com/hammertime for more info!” Syo cackled. 

Kiyotaka just closed his eyes, sighing. He was growing closer to Syo, but… _Is now really the time for jokes?_ “Regardless, the murder weapon must be one of those Justice Hammers, right?”

“The murder weapon wasn't a Justice Hammer at all.” Makoto cut in. “No, it was something completely different.”

“A different weapon…?” Kiyotaka asked, confused.

Makoto nodded. “Specifically, a hammer from the repository. The killer could have easily used that to kill Hifumi. Now, all the hammers in the repository were covered in flecks of grit and debris... But for some reason, one of them had been scrubbed clean.” He said, showing them a picture of the hammer on his Monopad.

“Huh...?” Aoi asked.

“And the reason it had been scrubbed clean was most likely because it had been used to commit murder. If the hammer got covered in Hifumi's blood, of course they'd have to clean it off.” Makoto explained. “I'd also like to point out that the repository has all kinds of hammers--big ones, small ones, and even some flat, mallet-like ones. I think whoever made the Justice Hammers used those as a basis for their design.”

“If that's true, that would explain the Monokuma File's note about the wounds being similar…” Sakura started.

Kiyotaka tapped his finger at his chin. “So...it wasn’t a Justice Hammer?” Makoto nodded. “Then, I apologize for causing a needless argument over the weapon!!”

Makoto smiled nervously, as Kiyotaka bowed, putting his hands up. “You don’t need to apologize, it helped move things along!”

“So,” Byakuya started, ignoring the two. “Hifumi moved Hiro’s body to the repository, where someone then used a hammer to kill him.”

“And whoever did that is the true killer--the one Hifumi was working with...and the one who betrayed him...!” Aoi exclaimed.

Kiyotaka frowned. Someone got Hifumi to kill Hiro, and then...they betrayed him? _But why…?_

“Hold on a moment.” Celeste said, a little loudly, startling Kiyotaka and the others. “I still think it's strange to assume someone was working together with him. The way the graduation rule works, there is no benefit to helping someone else carry out a murder.” She explained. “So the idea that anyone would work together like that is simply ludicrous. We talked about this, did we not?”

“Well,” Kiyotaka said. “Maybe if they trusted and wanted to help the culprit?”

Celeste huffed. “That’s absolutely ridiculous. Based on the rules that have been laid out for us... Even if more than one person is complicit in the murder...only the one who actually carried out the act can "graduate" and survive. Assuming the rule holds true, it is simply impossible that two people worked together on this.”

“That is how the rule was explained to us…” Kyoko agreed. “But that only really applies if there's one murder, right? In this case, however, there were two murders.”

“Kyoko’s right!” Makoto shot in. “Since there were two murders, it's at least plausible that more than one person was involved.”

“...What do you mean?” Sakura asked.

“If there'd only been one murder, then yes, the idea of an accomplice isn't really worth considering.” Kyoko explained. “Naturally, if only one person can be saved per murder, an accomplice has no risk versus reward benefit.”

“Risk versus reward...benefit?” Makoto asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“The payoff for working together--the reward that balances out the risk of taking part in the scheme. There's no point in being someone's accomplice if there's no benefit to you.” Kyoko said. “However, if there were some potential mutual reward for the risk, then cooperation becomes possible.”

“You're saying that two people could act as each other's accomplices to commit two separate murders.” Byakuya stated, frowning.

“I think that's what the true killer told Yamada; they would each have an accomplice for their crime. And based on the case's events, Yamada would have been the first one to act, murdering Hagakure. They made him carry out the first murder so he couldn't back out of helping them later on.” Kyoko said, hand to her mouth.

Makoto nodded. “So in this case, there wasn't one single person committing multiple murders...Instead, each person killed someone, creating two separate incidents. And it only looked like one person because that's how the true killer designed it to look. A single suspicious individual, a similar weapon used in each crime, disappearing bodies…By creating one seamless set of circumstances, they made it look like one person was behind it all!” Kiyotaka frowned. _Who could’ve possibly thought of this, though?_

“The mastermind picked their target and managed to convince him to go along with their plan. And then, to avoid the "no accomplices" rule, they simply...killed their accomplice.” Byakuya explained, as if he were stating the obvious. “Which, if true, means that betraying Hifumi was part of the plan from the very beginning.”

“Th-That's just...awful! How could anyone be so cruel!?” Aoi exclaimed, tears collecting in her eyes.

Byakuya shook his head, smirking. “You think so? I can't help but admire its cunning.”

“There’s nothing about this to admire!” Kiyotaka yelled. “Someone planned the murder of two of our friends!”

Byakuya huffed. “Whatever. Still, their choice of accomplice seems...odd.”

“I understand how an accomplice could be involved, but then who was the one pulling Yamada strings?” Sakura asked.

“That's problem numero uno right now!” Syo exclaimed.

Kiyotaka looked to Kyoko, then Makoto. They were frowning...deep in thought… _do they already know?_

He looked around the room, looking at everyone left standing in the circle. He had his suspicions, but...he couldn’t see any of them as a _murderer._

He never could.

He gripped at the sleeves of Mondo’s jacket just as Makoto opened his mouth.

“It was Celeste…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god finally  
> dr trials are so long and i’m not excited about the next one (which will have a lot more rewrites than this one)
> 
> tumblr: oowadas


	10. the pretty lies, the ugly truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In fact, Celeste was precisely the one who proposed that we split up.” Byakuya said. “Well? If Celeste and Hifumi were working together, all those chance events suddenly become connected…”
> 
> Celeste just remained silent, staring at the floor.
> 
> “And on top of that...that piercing cry of yours early on...That was to signal Hifumi, wasn't it? It was your way of telling him, ‘We're on the 3rd floor, everything's going according to plan.’ Why else would you let out a scream that could have carried across the sea?” Byakuya pushed on.
> 
> She was silent, still. Kiyotaka almost wanted to beg her to talk, to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back on schedule!  
> shoutout to my girlfriends dad for saying that my fic sounds “very cool” :)  
> also shoutout to my girlfriend in general. gay ass  
> chapter title is from “teen idle” by MARINA

“It was Celeste…”

Kiyotaka bit his lip. He was no good at reading people but he knew she was acting a little suspicious...but he didn’t want to believe it.

Celeste just smiled, a giggle at her mouth. “Ah, so I'm the suspicious individual now, am I?” She hummed. “Hmhmhm. I really do hate this kind of joke…”

“A joke? I wonder…” Byakuya started, but was cut off by Celeste.

“So what you are saying, then, is that I specifically chose to work together with Hifumi.” Her expression grew increasingly away from the calmness she was just displaying. “The idea that I would choose to spend any amount of time interacting with him...That I would go within ten feet of that shit-for-brains! That lazy, worthless goddamn idiot!”

Kiyotaka startled, and the rest of the room went silent. He couldn’t even berate her for her attitude towards their deceased classmates. He was just...shocked.

Celeste seemed to come back to herself, clearing her throat and throwing on a smile. “Ahem. Ah, pardonnez-moi.”

Byakuya was the first to reorganize himself, speaking up. “Just to be clear, there is evidence to support it.

“...Is that so?” Her smile remained.

“It is. Throughout the investigation, there was a certain behavior that was common only to the two of you.” Byakuya smirked. “Considering what we've learned so far, it only further proves that the two of you were working together!”

Makoto nodded. “The behavior they had in common had to do with the ‘suspicious individual’ in the suit, doesn't it? The only ones who ever actually saw Robo Justice firsthand were Celeste and Hifumi.”

“Shush. The adults are talking now.” Byakuya coldly replied. Kiyotaka bit back the urge to yell at him to not be rude.

“S-Sorry…” Makoto said sheepishly.

Byakuya huffed, shaking his head. “As he said, only Celeste and Hifumi ever laid eyes on the costumed individual. If we accept that Hifumi was one of the culprits, we can't help but suspect what Celeste has said, as well.”

“Are you saying everything they told us was a lie...?” Aoi asked.

“After taking Hifumi to the nurse's office, we all began our search for this individual, correct? And not too long after that, do you remember what Celeste said? She said that she saw a shadow at the top of the stairs. We headed to the 2nd floor specifically because of what she claimed to have seen. Next, to draw us all to the physics lab, up on the 3rd floor…”

“...She let out a bloodcurdling scream.” Sakura recounted.

Byakuya nodded. “And when we'd all come to see what was wrong, what was it she said? That she saw him, screamed, and made him run off further in the hallway.” He explained. “Once she'd done her job of getting us all up to the physics lab it was time for her partner to get to work.”

Aoi looked pale, hands shaking. “It was to get us to divide into two groups...so that we would discover both bodies at the same time!?” She exclaimed.

“In fact, Celeste was precisely the one who proposed that we split up.” Byakuya said. “Well? If Celeste and Hifumi were working together, all those chance events suddenly become connected…”

Celeste just remained silent, staring at the floor.

“And on top of that...that piercing cry of yours early on...That was to signal Hifumi, wasn't it? It was your way of telling him, ‘We're on the 3rd floor, everything's going according to plan.’ Why else would you let out a scream that could have carried across the sea?” Byakuya pushed on.

She was silent, still. Kiyotaka almost wanted to beg her to talk, to explain.

“I've just realized another strange thing…” Makoto spoke up. “When we found Hifumi in the nurse's office, who we now know was only pretending to be dead...Celeste...you were the first one to say he'd been murdered. You wanted to make sure we wouldn't have any doubt in our minds.”

“I-I don't believe it... Everything...the whole thing was one big act!” Aoi exclaimed, voice shaking.

“Hina. You were with Celeste when Hifumi's body disappeared, right?” Makoto asked.

She nodded. “Yeah... I was feeling kinda sick, so Celeste took me to the bathroom......Wait! Then that was--!?”

“She wasn't worried about you. She just saw a chance to help Hifumi sneak out of the nurse's office.” Makoto said, frowning at Aoi.

Byakuya scoffed. “Each piece isn't much by itself, but start putting them together and the picture gets very ugly indeed. Wouldn't you agree, Celeste?”

“...I have no idea what you mean.” Celeste finally spoke up, hands coming together, smiling.

“Don't bother trying to deny it.” Byakuya said, harshly. “You made one fatal mistake.”

Her smile dropped instantly. “...Oh did I?”

“I didn't even catch it myself when you first said it, but looking back, I can say that that one little slip-up was your undoing.” Byakuya smirked.

“Wh-What are you talking about...?” Kiyotaka couldn’t help but catch the...panic in her tone.

“I'm talking about what you said after Hifumi's body disappeared and we returned to the nurse's office. You said that, ‘They must really be enjoying this... Enjoying the sight of us standing around, frightened and confused...We're all going to die here. We're going to die, just like those guys died…’.”

Sakura nodded, frowning. “I remember her saying that too, but...I don't understand what's so strange about it.”

Byakuya shook his head, huffing. “Then pay attention. Sakura, Toko, and I were first to discover Hiro’s body in the equipment room. Then Makoto showed up and told us Hifumi had been killed. So Sakura and I left with Makoto. Once we were in the hall, we ran into Celeste, and the four of us headed to the nurse's office. Now, the entire time we were together, none of us said anything about Hiro being dead.” He explained. “Think about it--Celeste's comment doesn't make sense. It was completely out of place.”

“I get what you’re saying, but..I don’t quite get what’s so out of place about her comment.” Kiyotaka admitted. 

Byakuya smiled. “You hear that, Celeste? Everyone's having some trouble understanding. Could you repeat what you said? If you're really not the culprit, you shouldn't have any problem repeating it, right?”

Celeste huffed, before putting a smile back on her face. “All I said was...They must really be enjoying this... Enjoying the sight of us standing around, frightened and confused... They must be positively elated... We are all going to die here. We are going to die, just like those guys died…” A pause. “...And that is all I said.”

“And that's all it takes to finish this. It's obvious, isn't it?” Byakuya stated. “What was so strange about Celeste's comment?”

“That's right... There's no reason Celeste should have said ‘just like those guys died’...When she said that, none of us had told her Hiro was dead.” Makoto said.

Byakuya nodded. “Exactly. And we didn't run into her until after we were all out in the hall. So there was never any chance for her to have seen his body in the equipment room for herself.”

“So how did you know, Celeste?” Makoto asked, pointing a finger at her. “How did you know more than one person had been killed? And how did you know they were both guys? Because Kyoko had also disappeared, right? So she could have been dead, too.”

“Wait,” Kiyotaka cut in. “I agree with you on the first part, but isn’t it a normal thing to refer to a group of people as ‘those guys’?”

Makoto smiled, laughing nervously. “Oh- I guess so.”

The conversation broke off as Celeste hummed. “You all have such vivid imaginations, you know that?”

“Imaginations...?” Byakuya asked, glowering at the other.

“You claim that I was lying when I told you about the suspicious person I saw...Then what about the picture I took?” She showed them the camera, displaying a photo of Robo Justice seemingly dragging Hifumi away.

_I...certainly don’t remember doing that._

“How do you explain this picture of the costumed villain dragging Hifumi away?” Celeste asked.

Kiyotaka tapped at his podium. “Is it possible that you-“ _She hasn’t been completely proven guilty yet!_ “-or someone else put on the costume and put the camera on a timer?”

“Have you so quickly forgotten? You are the only one who could have possibly fit into that suit.” Celeste quickly said, eyes boring into him, causing him to startle a little. “Plus, I happen to know that this particular camera does not have a timer. In other words, it is an unassailable fact that this is a picture of Hifumi being dragged away. If everything I told you was a lie, how can this picture exist?”

Kyoko hummed. “Simple. Are we sure that's really a picture of the suspect dragging Yamada away?”

“...What could you possibly mean by that?” Celeste asked.

“Surely there are other explanations than the one you've offered up.” Kyoko explained, turning to look at the other.

“No...there is no other explanation.”

“It's not a picture of the suspect dragging Hifumi away… I would say it's a picture of Hifumi dragging the suspect away!” Makoto exclaimed, hands holding onto the edges of his podium.

“Kh--!” Celeste choked out.

Kyoko nodded. “That's certainly within the realm of possibility. The one being dragged off in that picture isn't Yamada, but the person inside the robot suit. We've simply been led to believe that it's the other way around. And the strange costume might only exist to lead us astray even farther. If you saw someone wearing something like that in this situation, of course you'd notice and be suspicious.”

“So-!” Kiyotaka started, head spinning. “You guys made me pass out, put me into the suit, and took this picture...all to make me look like some kind of villain!?”

Celeste giggled, though there was no smile on her face. “Hmhm. Hmhmhmhm... Eheh... Such a thing......is utterly impossible. Hifumi was dragging him away? Ridiculous.”

“Is it? I don't think it's ridiculous at all.” Kyoko retorted.

Celeste’s expression tightened “Then shut your mouth and allow me to educate you.” She bit out at the other.

“Hey-“

“Go on, explain what you think happened.” Celeste cut Kiyotaka off, glaring at him.

Kiyotaka remained steady, though his head was pounding. “So, I assume after I passed out, you and Hifumi put me in that Robo Justice costume. Then you had Hifumi hold me to make it look as if I were dragging him away?”

Celeste laughed. “Like I said--ridiculous. As you can see in the picture, the suspect is standing perfectly upright. If the person inside the suit was unconscious there's no way they could stand up straight like that.”

“No, even if the person inside the suit were unconscious, they could still stand up like that.” Makoto cut in, shaking his head. “Because that Robo Justice suit had a certain characteristic…”

Aoi gasped. “That's right! They totally made a mistake when they made it, so it couldn't bend at the waist!”

“I'm not so sure that was a mistake... I think the suit was designed from the beginning to be used the way it was.” Kyoko said.

“Ngh...!”

“Celeste and Hifumi took the suit they'd specially designed and stuffed Taka into it.” Makoto explained. “The point of it all was to make us believe whoever was in the suit was to blame!”

“Ngh-gh-gh!”

Byakuya sighed, smiling. “Well then, I suppose this is checkmate…”

“Checkmate…?” Celeste asked. Then she started giggling wildly, the air growing cold around them. “Don't make me laugh, you idiot! What do you mean, checkmate!?” She screamed out, startling everyone, even Kyoko and Byakuya.

“C-Celeste...?” Aoi asked hesitantly.

Celeste huffed, nearly growling. “Clearly, you want to cram me into your little ‘guilty’ box. Well there's one little problem! Have you already forgotten what Hifumi told us as he lay dying!?” She yelled. “When we asked him who had attacked him, his answer was quite clear, was it not? He said, and I quote, ‘Yasuhiro, Taka.’.” She smiled, then- “In other words, Yasuhiro Hagakure and Kiyotaka Ishimaru!” She glared at Kiyotaka. _The suspicions...back on me?_

_No...I didn’t do it! But then…._

“But why Hagakure?” Sakura asked, still taken aback by Celeste’s complete one-eighty in her personality.

“Clearly, you’ve all gotten the situation all twisted up! Instead of Hifumi killing Hiro and myself killing Hifumi...Hiro killed Hifumi, and then Taka killed Hiro!” Celeste yelled, her voice straining.

Kyoko hummed, hand on her chin. “He did say Yasuhiro and Taka, but are we sure he was really pointing the finger at them?”

“What the hell are you talking about!? I'll burn you alive!” Celeste yelled, nails clawing at her podium.

“Kyoko...what do you mean by that?” Makoto asked.

“Think back to how Yamada used to talk to us... How did he refer to each of us?”

Makoto nodded. “...That's right! Our last names! He called us all by our last names!”

“Exactly.” Kyoko said. “I know I heard him say ‘Naegi-dono’ more than once, for example. So if Yamada did mean to say Hagakure or Kiyotaka’s name, he would have said their last names--Hagakure and Ishimaru.” She explained.

Celeste recoiled. “I'm sure it was just incidental--by chance he just--their first names...!” Kiyotaka could tell she can barely get the words out.

“Indecent...?” Syo perked up.

Byakuya frowned. “Don't talk.”

“Don’t be rude!” Kiyotaka yelled at the other.

“Random chance... Now isn't that a convenient explanation?” Kyoko continued on, ignoring the others. “No, there's no reason to think he would have said the name any different than normal. But he must have run out of energy before he could say any more, cutting off before he could finish.”

“So Hifumi was trying to tell us the name of whoever killed him...?” Makoto asked.

Silence filled the room.

_Someone who’s last name is the same as Hiro’s first name, and who’s first name sounds like Taka…?_

“But the name he said doesn't apply to anyone here…” Sakura said.

“Well, no, hold on...there's one person it could apply to... And that's Celeste.” Makoto suggested. “She never actually told us what her real name is…”

“Wh...? What did you just say? To think you'd take your false accusations so far... I don't know whether to laugh or spit…” Celeste’s voice was growing higher. “Come on! Enough with your idiotic blather! Yasuhiro is a loser's name! Do I look like a loser to you!?” It was silent again. “Well!? Dooooo I!? What!? I think I've earned the right to be a little on edge!”

“Okay, then fill us in... What's your real name?” Makoto asked, sweating. 

“Fine! Make sure your ear holes are wiiiiiiide open and listen up! My real name is Celestia Ludenburg! Could you PLEASE stop making me repeat myself over and over again!?” Celeste yelled out.

Kyoko hummed. “Yamada was trying to tell us something... He wanted us to know the killer's last name, and part of their first name--Yasuhiro and Taka.”

“If there's one person here who might have that last name and first name…” Aoi thought aloud.

Sakura nodded. “It would have to be you, Celeste. You haven't told anyone what your real name is.”

Celeste huffed. “How many times do I have to tell you...? My...name...is…” She paused for a moment, inhaling. “Celestia Ludenburg, goddammit!”

“How long do you plan to go on pretending...?” Byakuya asked.

“I'm not pretending. It's the truth! And since you have no way to contradict me…”

“That's it...! The handbook!” Makoto exclaimed.

“What!?” Celeste shrieked, making Kiyotaka throw his hands over his ears.

Makoto winced. “Any time you turn your handbook on, it shows the owner's name when it boots up, right? Monokuma told us all about it before!” He explained. “So all we have to do is check her handbook and that'll clear up everything. That's how we can find out Celeste's real name!”

“Th-That's an invasion of privacy! I-I refuse to cooperate!” Celeste’s voice started to shake, as did her hands.

“...Celeste... Can you please just tell us what really happened? Please, just tell us…” Makoto begged, sadly.

Celeste stayed silent for a second, and then, she smiled. “Even when I'm put in check, it's just my nature not to give up. Because...Because, because...because because because because because because--!” Her smile fell off. “Until the game's over, you never know what might happen!”

Makoto nodded, frowning. “Fine then. Let me settle it. Let me go over the case again, from the beginning, and shed light on all your crimes.  
And that'll bring everything to an end!” He exclaimed.

“Before anything, the killer persuaded someone to help carry out the murder.” Makoto started. “And that person was…Hifumi. With an accomplice, the killer was able to execute a number of otherwise impossible schemes. First, they convinced someone to meet them in the rec room last night at one in the morning.”

Kiyotaka bit his lip. _I was so stupid...so selfish for following that note...even if I really did want to-_

He shook his head, focusing back on Makoto’s explanation.

“That ‘someone’ they met with was Taka, or at the time, Ishida. The murderous duo intended to pass Ishida off as the prime suspect- but what they didn’t know is that he’d return back to Taka after being knocked out. So when they met up with him...they drugged him, knocked him out, and stuffed him into the Robo Justice suit.” Makoto frowned, just a bit. “Next, Hifumi positioned himself to make it look like Robo Justice was attacking him, while the killer used a digital camera to take pictures of the ‘assault.’ They did all this just to create evidence that would put the suspicion on Taka. When they were done with him, they shoved him, still unconscious, into the pool room locker.”

“And then finally, at 6 a.m., they moved into the ‘murder’ phase of their plan. They called Hiro to the equipment room. And that's where Hifumi killed him, making it the scene of the first murder…” He inhaled. “The murder weapon was ‘Justice Hammer 4,’ which was left there in the equipment room. The reason hammer number 4 was used was to create confusion about the order of the crimes.”

“So, next they falsified two more assault incidents. For these attacks, the killers pretended to be the victims, to solidify Robo Justice as the suspect... The first fake incident was the attack in the rec room. There, the killers wanted us to see Justice Hammer 1 and the Robo Justice pictures they'd taken. They wanted to make sure we bought the ‘surprise attack’ story. The second fake incident was the attack in the library. This time, they planted Justice Hammer 2 and ‘injured’ Hifumi to sell us that story. With these two incidents, the killers were able to create a certain preconception in our minds that the suspect was increasing the size of the hammers and attacking people in order as they did. We fell right into their trap and started looking for the suspect based on that, but…”

“...While we did that, we left Hifumi alone in the nurse's office. This was exactly what Hifumi was hoping for.” He frowned again. “He took a blood packet from the refrigerator and Justice Hammer 3 and turned the room into a crime scene, in which he himself had apparently been brutally murdered. He let out a scream to draw us back, and when we returned, that's what we found. Meanwhile, the other group that had been out searching found Hiro’s body at the same time. So when we heard the body discovery announcement, we naturally assumed it was for Hifumi.”

“We left the nurse's office, and Hifumi once again took advantage of the situation. He simply got up and made his escape. When we learned his body had disappeared, we all rushed back to the nurse's office. And once again, Hifumi had the chance he was waiting for. This time, he snuck into the equipment room...He wrapped Hiro’s body in a tarp and used the dolly to move it all the way down to the repository. That explains how each of the bodies disappeared. But even Hifumi didn't know what the true killer had in mind for their final act…”

“Their plan all along was to kill Hifumi and get rid of the one person who could betray them. And they did it using an ordinary, everyday hammer from the repository. That should cover everything that happened in this case. And the villain behind it all is...Celeste! Sorry, you lose!”

Kiyotaka tried to absorb all the information of the case, but Celeste’s voice broke through his thoughts. “I...lost? I lost...!? When was the last time...I was forced to utter such words? They hang heavy around my neck…”

“Then you admit it? You're the killer?” Makoto asked.

Celeste laughed humorlessly. “Hm. Heh... Listen to you, trying to take charge. As if you're my private instructor... I, Celestia Ludenburg--actually, no...Taeko Yasuhiro is fine…” Cele- Taeko said, her accent dropping.

“Taeko...?”

“So, you've finally accepted it.” Byakuya said.

“I'm the kind of person, once I've lost, I don't like things to drag on.” She just shrugged, eyes focused on the ground.

“Interesting…” Byakuya mumbled.

Taeko sighed, finally looking up at all of them. “Okay, Monokuma. I'm ready to begin. Or, no...I suppose this is the end, isn't it?”

Monokuma hummed, delighted. “It is indeed the moment we've all been waiting for! Time to vote! Okay? Okay! If you would, please locate your lever and cast your vote! And when the votes are tallied...who will become the blackened!?” He cackled. “Will you make the right choice, or the dreadfully wrong one? What's it gonna be? What's it gonna beeee!?”

Kiyotaka’s hand rested on his lever. He could always vote for himself, like last time...but he doesn’t know what kind of trouble he’d get into with the bear if he pulled that again.

He didn’t want to do this again...like he did with Leon…

Kiyotaka bit his lip and, reluctantly, voted for Taeko Yasuhiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the trial is finally over!! but next is. 😳
> 
> tumblr: oowadas


	11. dreaming dreams that don't come true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hifumi agreed without a second thought. Hmhm. The effect that item had on him was...remarkable. The power of love... Even a love as twisted as that can still drive people mad, it would seem.”
> 
> “That’s so cruel…” Kiyotaka mumbled, fingers twitching. To use someone’s love against them...even if it was Alter Ego…
> 
> There was no other word for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JNGJFJD sorry for the delay! i have an awful habit of swarming myself with like 20 projects at once  
> this chapters title is from “rolling girl” by wowaka which is. such a taka song it hurts  
> descriptions of celeste’s execution begins at “Before he could continue, the ground lurched,“ and ends at “She was gone.” !

After everyone had casted their vote, Monokuma slid off his chair, waddling into the center of the room. “It's basically a formality at this point, but once again you're totally correct! The blackened this time...the true killer who devised the whole stinkin' scheme, was...Celestia Ludenburg! Or more precisely...Taeko Yasuhiroooo!” His voice boomed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kiyotaka saw Kyoko wince. “I lost... Well, that sucks. I guess trying to work with someone else was a mistake, after all. Hifumi's ineptitude was beyond all my calculations.” Taeko spoke, her accent gone.

“So you really did approach Yamada with this plan? But how did you get him to agree? I can't imagine he would have happily agreed to commit murder.” Kyoko said.

Byakuya scoffed, shaking his head. “I'm sure she relied on her specialty--lying.”

“My specialty?” Taeko raised an eyebrow at the heir, smiling. “Don't make me laugh. I didn't have to lie to get him to agree.”

Kyoko furrowed her eyebrows, frown deepening. “Then did you use...you know...?”

“I knew you'd figure it out, Kyoko.” Taeko smiled sadly. “You're absolutely right. To get Hifumi to act as my accomplice...I used ‘her’. For everyone who's still left, I'll avoid mentioning it by name, but Hifumi was so invested in the thing, he’d do anything for it.”

“Does she mean...?” Makoto trailed off.

“What? What what what!? What are you talking about!?” Monokuma bounced up, waving his arms around.

Kyoko simply turned away from him, fully facing Taeko. “Don't interrupt. We're in the middle of a very important conversation here.”

“I'm totally out of the loop, as usual. How sad…” Monokuma moped, slumping. 

“Then you're the one that stole it?” Kyoko asked.

Taeko, for her part, stared into Kyoko’s eyes. “That's right.”

“And you used it to drag Yamada into the plan you'd come up with.”

“Right again. Last night, after we had our meeting about how it'd disappeared, I paid Hifumi a little visit.” Taeko recalled. “I had told him how Taka had stolen it. When he asked how, I explained that Taka had forced me to steal it for him, that he abused me, took pictures of me.”

Kiyotaka’s stomach dropped. “I- I would never do that! I swear, I-“ He felt sick.

_Does she really think I’d do that?_

“It’s all in a lie.” Taeko shrugged. “Maybe Kiyotaka Ishimaru wouldn’t do it, but who knows what that Ishida would do. As expected, the fool bought my story. He seemed quite eager to kill you.” Kiyotaka winced. He...nearly died. “But I swayed him. Sure, being killed would hurt for a few moments, but what about making you believe you killed someone?” She huffed. “Hifumi agreed without a second thought. Hmhm. The effect that item had on him was...remarkable. The power of love... Even a love as twisted as that can still drive people mad, it would seem.”

“That’s so cruel…” Kiyotaka mumbled, fingers twitching. To use someone’s love against them...even if it was Alter Ego…

There was no other word for it.

Byakuya frowned, adjusting his glasses. “I have another question for you. Was that strange costume Hifumi's creation?”

Taeko rolled her eyes, nodding. “Yeah. It was a real pain in the butt, too. All I asked him to do was make something to hide the face and general body size. I had no idea he'd make something like...that. But it's my fault for picking him in the first place.”

“So...that’s why you framed me? Just to hurt me?” Kiyotaka asked. It didn’t make sense. He knew Taeko wasn’t the nicest person ever, but surely she wouldn’t frame him just for that.

“I admit, there were other factors. You were also very interested in ‘it’, even if you say you wouldn’t have killed him as you are, Ishida was quick to anger.” Taeko sighed, looking down at the floor. “But, don’t flatter yourself. It's not like I wanted to hurt you, the prospect of you being hurt just motivated Hifumi.”

Kiyotaka took a hesitant step toward Taeko. He didn’t know what to say to her.

“However, I did not expect you to return back to normal. As stupid as it was, your Ishida stunt seems to have been my plans down fall.” She continued, huffing.

“But when you were explaining your plan to Yamada, how did you explain the part about him playing dead?” Sakura asked.

Byakuya rolled his eyes. “What she's asking is, what was Hifumi supposed to do after that, assuming you had actually let him live?”

“That's simple. After he did his part and pretended to be dead, once someone showed up I told him to say he'd been seriously wounded, he was on the verge of death, but he just barely held on.” Taeko explained”

“And he really believed that?”

Taeko looked over to Aoi, smiling. “Well of course, that wasn't all there was to it. As I explained it to Hifumi, the plan was... while you were all questioning him about what had happened to him, I was going to murder someone else. At that point, Hifumi would have an alibi, so nobody could doubt him. I told him that, and he believed it.”

Byakuya furrowed his eyebrows, mumbling. “It all seems very...straightforward. Stereotypical.” 

Taeko merely shrugged. “I just matched the lie to the level of the opponent. In fact, Hifumi ate it up. He believed the lie wholeheartedly, right up until the moment of his death.”

“So you had planned to kill him all along!” Sakura exclaimed.

“...But of course. There would have been no point to my plan if the one who pretended to be dead did not end up dead himself.”

Aoi seethed, her hands balling into fists. “How can human life mean so little to you...?”

“That's a non-issue. I simply did everything in my power to win.” Taeko said.

“Aren’t you starting to sound a little like Byakuya?” Kiyotaka asked, Byakuya huffing beside him.

Taeko huffed out a laugh, shaking her head. “No, he derives his pleasure from the thrill of the hunt. In that aspect, we are nothing alike.”

“Then...what made you take things this far?” Kyoko asked, frowning.

Aoi’s expression hadn’t changed. “Was it really...just for money?”

“Are you talking about the ten million dollars Monokuma offered us?” Taeko asked, tilting her head. “That is a lot of money, it's true. But that's not all there is to it. From the moment our new life here began, my only thought has been escape.”

“But this whole time you’ve been saying how we should adapt to living here-“

“Obviously that was a lie!” Taeko yelled, cutting off and startling Kiyotaka. “I couldn't take it! I hated it from day one! More than anyone, anyone, ANYONE else in here! I wanted to get out! Every day was fresh torture! And do you wanna know why? HUH!? Because...I had a dream. And accepting a life here would have meant nothing less than giving up on my dream forever… And there was no way...that I could ever do that. In the underground world of gambling, I risked my life to make a metaphorical killing. And it was all for that dream…” She sighed.

_She did this...for her dream?_

“And what was this dream of yours...?” Makoto asked, sadly.

_I wouldn’t understand going so far for a dream, but I know what it’s like to want, to need to achieve a dream, so-_

“To live in a European castle.”

_…Huh?_

Makoto yelped. “A c-castle!?”

“And to gather handsome men from all over the world to serve as my butlers-slash-bodyguards. I was going to make them dress up like vampires and satisfy my every need. Once I obtained that, I would have created a perfectly aesthetic world of decadence... Living the rest of my life there was my only dream, my only goal... That's what life is all ABOUT!” She yelled out. “Combined with my own winnings, Monokuma's ten million dollars would have made that dream a reality. I got right to the edge, but...Unfortunately, my dream has been scattered to the wind. Still, I don't have any regrets. I pursued my dream till the very end, so why would I?”

“You sound so passionate, but...you were really able to kill your own friends for it?” Aoi asked angrily.

“Did their lives really mean that little to you?” Kiyotaka followed up.

Taeko giggled, holding her hands loosely in front of her. “Are you asking me to feel guilty? That's a pointless endeavor. I think nothing of sacrificing others for my own ends. I feel nothing. That's all there is to me. That's what makes me...complete.” She hummed. “Isn't it terrifying how different our values are? There's simply no room for understanding.”

“Th-That's what we should be saying. And plus... how can you be so calm? Don't you realize you're about to die? Why aren't you scared...?” Aoi choked out, tears finally falling down her face.

“Hmph. My ability to lie is unrivaled, and I take pride in that. It's not just other people--I can even fool my own emotions. The conscious deceives the unconscious.” Taeko smiled.

“And that's why you're not scared?” Makoto asked.

“That's right. I don't fear death. Kill me however you like. But you know, if I could be reincarnated... If I had a choice, then…” She thought for a moment. “...I think I would like to come back as Marie Antoinette.”

“But...wouldn’t you just get executed again…?” Kiyotaka asked.

Taeko simply giggled in response.

Monokuma groaned loudly, gathering everyone’s attention. “You all done? Okay, then let's get rollin'! The blackened disturbed the peace, and must pay the price! Now then, I've prepared a very special punishment for...her!” He pointed a stubby arm at Taeko. “The Ultimate Gambler! Let's give it everything we've got! It's...PUNISHMENT TIIIME!”

“I guess I'll let Kyoko hold on to this.” Taeko said, placing a key gently into Kyoko’s hand.

“This is...!” Kyoko just stared at the key, then at Taeko.

“Will it really give you the hope you're looking for? I can't say I ever saw it that way…” Taeko took her eyes away from Kyoko. “Which is why... Actually, it's not important. Well then...take care, everyone. Perhaps we'll meet again, in another life.”

Kiyotaka watched as Taeko smiled, but even he knew it was forced.

He had to do this for her, he had to-

“Wait! Cele- uhm, Taeko…” He breathed in as she raised an eyebrow at him, smile still in place. “I forgive you.”

Her smile disappeared.

“F-Forgive-“ She laughed through a stutter. “You _forgive_ me? Whatever for?”

 _Not for the murders...I can’t...but at the very least...for her I can-_ “I forgive you for framing me.” He smiled, small and sad.

Taeko recoiled, as if his words hit her. “You...you really are an idiot, huh?” She huffed as Aoi yelled at her. “You can't seriously forgive me just like that, can you?”

“Maybe not...but at the very least, I sympathize with you. I understand. You just wanted to get out and fulfill your dream, right?” He took a hesitant step toward her, hand reaching out. “I know you’re scared of what happens next, even if you hide it. So, right now, I forgive you-“

Before he could continue, before he could reach out to comfort her-

Monokuma pulled out his gavel, slamming it onto the button in front of him.

The chain snapped around her neck, dragging her back.

She was smiling again.

Kiyotaka stood frozen in his spot, arm still outstretched. He came back to himself as the trial room lurched, fences coming up to cover the walls, the room slowly going down.

He went back to his podium, hanging onto it, turning to look at Kyoko.

She was still staring at the key in her hand.

Kiyotaka couldn’t help but wonder if Taeko is to her as what Mondo...was to him.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught Aoi looking at him, opening her mouth. Then, she closed it, looking away. He hoped she didn’t feel too bad about what she said to him earlier…

He gasped as he felt something launch at him, hands shaking his shoulders. “I told you ya didn’t do it, dumbass!” Syo shouted. “But were you really the dumbass this time ‘round? Anywho, we gotta celebrate!” They short a look at Aoi.

“I don’t think now's an appropriate time for celebration.” Kiyotaka sighed, trying to balance himself. He felt...dizzy. “And, please do not be hard on any of them. we- er- Toko and I acted the same to Makoto before the first trial, I have no right to judge them.”

“Yeah, but Big Mac wasn’t going ‘ohh I’m so guilty I’m such a _bad boy~’_. That’s ‘yeah they’re not guilty’ 101!” Syo cackled, leaning over Kiyotaka’s podium.

Kiyotaka blinked. “I didn’t say it like that.”

“Eh, potato tomato.”

“That’s not-“

Before he could continue, the ground lurched, reminding them of the situation they were in. Kiyotaka bit his lip, feeling guilty for forgetting what was about to happen to his fellow classmate, his _friend_ , and what just happened to two others.

Taeko stood far away beyond the fence, tied to a pole, hands clasped in front of her.

The ground shook as scenery assembled itself around her, a Victorian castle appearing behind her. An entrance rose from the ground, a giant rabbit looking creature unfolding itself on top of it.

Kiyotaka looked to Kyoko, who was resolutely staring ahead.

Monokumas surrounded Taeko as a masked one held up a torch, lighting the wood beneath her on fire.

_She’s...going to be burned at the stake?_

Kiyotaka tried to look away as the flames engulfed the wood, spreading onto Taeko...but he couldn’t.

Even from where he stood he could see the sweat drenching Taeko as the fire grew…

He also saw her smile.

_Is she really happy with this? I suppose, but...why would Monokuma give her what she wanted?_

His thoughts were answered as a siren blared, a fire truck appearing from seemingly nowhere, barreling toward Taeko.

It hit a ramp, flying in the air towards her… _no…no-_

It landed, and the only indication that it hit her was the sickening crunch that made Kiyotaka wince.

She was gone.

The execution was over. Just like that.

Vaguely he could hear Monokuma yelling, but it sounded...distant. His head was pounding, he was shaking, it felt like he was underwater. Like he was drowning.

He might as well be, the room starting to spin, his head aching so, so much and he felt so weak- he should’ve eaten he was just being foolish and selfish, people were dying, were trying to stay alive, and he was just trying to waste away and throw them into another trial-

His thoughts died out as his vision started to darken, and someone, Aoi?, yelled out his name.

And then…he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to quote what i dmed my friend zira when i finished this part, “taka: come on hopes peak lets get sickening (passes out)”
> 
> tumblr: oowadas


	12. and let them know you’re not letting go (i won't let go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko rotated her wrist in a ‘go on’ motion.
> 
>  _I don’t want to burden you with my problems.._ Kiyotaka huffed. _No. I have to talk to people about this, it’s the only way I can get better. I won’t hurt them by telling them my problems. Especially not Kyoko._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the start of a new arc! i’ve been writing a lot more for this so i’d figure i’d upload this now instead of waiting a while like i planned  
> chapter title: “hug all ur friends” by cavetown which, fun fact, Will make me cry if i think about class 78 while listening to it

_“Mondo?” Kiyotaka stood in front of Mondo’s door. The other hadn’t been in class all day, and though it wouldn’t be unusual considering someone of his ultimate talent...he’d started coming to class and making an effort for Kiyotaka. So, it was reasonable of him to be worried “Mondo, are you in there?”_

_That, and he hasn’t answered any of his text messages. And he’s yet to get an answer from the other in his room._

_“Mondo, I’m coming in!” Luckily, Mondo had given him a spare key that he kept on his uniform at all times._

_He tried to steady his hands enough to push the key in the lock, unlocking the door and pushing in._

_He didn’t know what to expect when he opened the door, but it wasn’t this._

_Mondo’s room was...a mess. There were papers everywhere, his desk was overturned and there was a dent in the wall._

_The owner of the room was sitting on his bed, turned away from the door._

_Kiyotaka knew what day it was, he just didn’t think it’d be so...bad._

_He navigated around the destruction, occasionally kneeling down to pick up and stack papers. “Mondo, honey…”_

_Mondo flinched slightly, but Kiyotaka still caught it. He walked over to the bed, hovering over the other._

_“Is it alright for me to touch you? It’s okay if I can’t, I-“_

_Kiyotaka was cut off by Mondo wrapping his arms around Kiyotaka’s middle, pulling him onto the bed with him._

_Kiyotaka immediately wrapped his arms around Mondo, hands stroking his hair. “How many years does this make it?”_

_“Three…” Mondo gruffly replied, resting his head on Kiyotaka’s shoulder._

_Three years since Daiya’s passing…_

_“Do you know why,” Kiyotaka thought for a second, “why you feel worse than last year?”_

_Mondo sighed. “I...I-“_

_“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but bottling up something could be making this worse.”_

_Mondo dug his head impossibly deeper into Kiyotaka’s shoulder, arms squeezing him. “You’ll prolly hate me.”_

_Kiyotaka traced hearts around Mondo’s back with his fingers. “I could never hate you.”_

_He never could, never has- it was just an intense dislike and conflict of interests before- not then,_ not now. 

_“I-“ Mondo’s hands squeezed at his back. “I killed him, I killed Daiya, I- I-“_

_Kiyotaka froze for a moment. Then, he pulled away from Mondo, squeezing his shoulders. “Can you explain?”_

_Mondo nodded slightly, closing his eyes. “It was during his retirement party...I was being stupid. I thought the gang wouldn’t respect me, compare me to Daiya...I wanted to prove that I was worthy. That ‘m strong. I challenged Daiya to a race.” He bit at his lip, hands clenching and unclenching. “I was bein’ reckless- I wanted to finish first- the truck was suddenly in front of me and then Daiya- he pushed me-“_

_Kiyotaka could tell Mondo was getting more upset. “He pushed you out of the way...and he got hit instead of you?” Mondo nodded. “Mondo, love,” He tilted Mondo’s head back up, gently. “You didn’t kill him- he saved you by sacrificing himself.”_

_“But if he didn’t-“_

_“I don’t think that’s even a possibility.” Kiyotaka cut the other off. “From what you’ve told me, he- Daiya loved you so much. He wants you to live, why else would he save you? Forgive me if I’m stepping too far, but Daiya wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for what he did.”_

_Mondo nodded. He hiccuped, hands slamming over his eyes. “Sorry- sorry-“_

_“What’s wrong? Are you okay!?”_

_He brought his hands back down, eyeliner slightly smudged. “Yeah, ‘m fine. Just being stupid.” Kiyotaka raised an eyebrow. “Just got a little emotional…’s kinda weak of me. Crying an’ all.”_

_“...Do you think I’m weak?” Kiyotaka asked._

_Mondo startled, rushing to reassure the other. “No, no you’re not! You’re the strongest motherfucker I know! It’s just…”_

_“It’s different for you?”_

_Mondo bit at his bottom lip, refusing to look the other in the eye. “I gotta be strong, for the gang- for Daiya, for...for you. I can’t afford to show any weakness.”_

_Kiyotaka frowned. “Love, it’s not weak to cry. In fact, I think it’s the strongest thing you can do right now. At least, just in front of me, okay? You can trust me, right?”_

_Mondo looked steadily in Kiyotaka’s eyes. Then, he finally broke down, hiccuping as tears slid down his face. Kiyotaka gently grabbed his head, bringing it down to his chest, cradling the other. “You’re so, so strong, you know?” He said, in between gently shushing the other. “You’re so strong for getting through this, so strong for getting this far, so strong for being able to cry, you’re so strong. It’s gonna be okay.”_

_They stayed like that in the bed, Kiyotaka doesn’t even know for how long, Mondo hiding his face in Kiyotaka’s chest, his arms around the other’s waist, Kiyotaka occasionally dropping kisses onto his head, arms around his shoulders._

_It didn’t matter how long they were like that._

_He’d stay as long as Mondo needed him, and even after that._

Kiyotaka wearily opens his eyes, squinting at the bright white ceiling above him, fluorescent lights flickering.

This...wasn’t the trial room, or his dorm.

His eyes flicked to different spots of the room. There were cabinets lined with medicine and a small fridge. Not to mention the IV next to him, attached to his forearm.

Was he in the nurse's office?

“Welcome back to the land of the living.” A smooth voice called out. Kiyotaka looked over, spotting Kyoko on a seat next to his bed, one leg crossed over the other. “Sorry if this isn’t the best set up, Oogami and I were apparently the only ones that had any medical knowledge, well, that wanted to help anyways.”

Kiyotaka nodded. “It’s perfectly fine, thank you.”

Kyoko hummed. Her expression stayed neutral and...Kiyotaka knew she was hiding something.

“You haven’t been eating.”

Well, he couldn’t say he didn’t see this coming. “Ah...yes, I haven’t been.”

Kyoko rotated her wrist in a ‘go on’ motion.

 _I don’t want to burden you with my problems.._ Kiyotaka huffed. _No. I have to talk to people about this, it’s the only way I can get better. I won’t hurt them by telling them my problems. Especially not Kyoko._

“Well, you already know that after Mondo’s...thing, I couldn’t do much of anything, certainly not eating.” 

Kyoko nodded. “That’s understandable, given you were completely shutdown and the circumstances of Mondo’s execution.”

“And during my time as Ishida, I convinced myself that I, uh, didn’t deserve to eat.” Kiyotaka finished, trying desperately to avoid eye contact with the other.

“I’m not surprised.” Kyoko merely shrugged.

“Huh- Why not!?” Kiyotaka spluttered, finally looking at Kyoko.

She sighed, looking down to her hands rested in her lap. “First off, the self-destructive attitude you had for the first part of the trial. Secondly, don’t think I haven’t noticed you staying in your room all day. Not to mention your deteriorating muscle mass, your sunken cheeks, among other things.”

“...At least you’re the perceptive sibling?” Kiyotaka tried, smiling sheepishly. Kyoko’s expression didn’t change. “I’m….sorry.”

“I’m not the one you need to be sorry to.” Kyoko shook her head at Kiyotaka’s confused expression. “You’ll figure it out.” She cleared her throat before continuing. “You also had a wound on your left hand?”

It felt less like a question and more like her demanding an answer from him. “Um, as Ishida I may have...punched the mirror in my dorm’s bathroom.”

He could tell that Kyoko was holding back a sigh.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Well, I’m assuming you didn’t try to clean it up at all afterwards. It’s become infected, so I put an antibiotic cream over the wound and wrapped it up. We’ll need to change the bandages every day, or if they get ruined.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “You won’t have to worry about getting stir-crazy either, you should be able to move around with supervision tomorrow.”

Kiyotaka just nodded, not being able to help the pit of guilt forming in his chest. _I’ve caused her to worry for no reason…_

Silence encompassed them both for a while, though it felt like years to Kiyotaka, until...

“You’re an idiot.” Kyoko stated bluntly, still staring ahead. “I mean that in the nicest way possible.”

“That’s fair.” Kiyotaka grunted, trying to sit up, but was pushed back down gently by Kyoko’s hand on his chest. He bites back a sigh and turned his head to the right, spotting Aoi.

Aoi just squeaked when she found him staring at her. “Oh! Uhh..Kyoko, can I talk to Taka on my own for a sec-“ She didn’t have to finish as Kyoko immediately stood up, swiftly walking out of the room.

Aoi sighed, taking her seat next to Kiyotaka’s bed. He gave her a small smile that she, sadly, returned. “She’s been kinda down since Taeko… I didn’t know they were so close...” She shook her head. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk about!”

Kiyotaka just looked up at her, confused. It must’ve shown on his face, because Aoi smiled sheepishly before explaining.

“Uh, I just...I’m sorry for accusing you! And for everything I said yesterday!! I’m so, so sorry, Taka!!!” She blurted out, eyes squeezing shut.

“I forgive you.”

“I know I was just being dumb and falling for Taeko’s trap and I- huh?” Aoi paused her rambling apology as she finally processed what Kiyotaka said. “Really? Just like that!?”

Kiyotaka smiled at her. “Like I told Syo earlier, during the first case I was also quick to wrongfully accuse Makoto of being the culprit. So, I don’t really think it’s fair for me to judge any of you.”

Aoi bit at her lip, looking as if she didn’t believe him. “But, like...you just took it and believed you really were the culprit! And, with everything you’ve been going through lately I, I-“ she chuckled humorlessly as tears began to fall down her face. “I’m not a good friend at all, am I?”

“Hina…”

“I haven’t been there for you as much as I could’ve!” She continued through hiccups. “I didn’t check on you during your Ishida thing, I never checked up on you when you didn’t show up after the investigation of the new floor, or when you didn’t show up to breakfast! Hiro did all this stuff for you and now he’s gone! And- and if Cele- Taeko let Hifumi go through with his original plan...you would’ve been killed! You were almost killed, you almost died and I- I never would’ve seen you again and I would never be able to apologize for all these things I never did, and-“

Kiyotaka couldn’t listen to the other beat herself up over him anymore. Kyoko might dig into him moving around a lot, but…

Aoi needs this.

Aoi gasped as Kiyotaka pushed himself up, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “I-“

“It’s okay, Hina. I...really do understand how you feel. But you can’t shoulder all this guilt by yourself.” Kiyotaka squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t cry right now. “You shouldn’t focus on the _what-ifs_ , instead focus on what you can do now to make up for stuff.” A pause. “I don’t mean that I blame you, the fault lies more with Hifumi and Taeko- but I don’t really blame them either. It’s the mastermind’s fault that all this is happening. They’re the only one to blame.”

Aoi huffed, wrapping her arms around Kiyotaka. “But still...I should’ve helped you out more.”

“I don’t really think you could help someone that would refuse that help.”

Maybe his voice came out more choked than he would have liked, because-

Aoi pulled back from the hug, holding his shoulders at an arm's length. “Okay- no more crying for either of us right now!” She put on a wobbly grin that Kiyotaka returned. “Starting now...we’ll help each other out! With anything the other might need! Sakura too, I may have vented a bit to her before coming here...but all three of us will be there for each other, okay!?”

Kiyotaka laughed, for the first time in days. “It’s a promise between friends. And...I never break those.”

Aoi laughed with him, taking a hand off his shoulder and placing it in front of him, pinkie outstretched. “Pinkie promise?”

He smiled, wrapping his own finger around hers. “Pinkie promise.”

“Oh! You probably wanna be caught up! You’ve only been out for a day and we figured we’d hold off investigating the next floor for when you’re up, yeah? So-“

Kiyotaka’s smile remained on as Aoi rambled about something Byakuya said and how Sakura’s doing. 

It was nice. He had so many friends now. He was getting better, one step at a time.

Maybe Mondo would be proud of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the whole aoi part physically hurt to write
> 
> tumblr: oowadas


	13. memories of my friends who they used to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toko squeaked, whipping back around. “D-D-D-Don’t try to pi-ity me! Why w-would I wanna be f-friends with a stuck up try-hard like yo-ou!?”
> 
> “Well I just thought with how sad you’ve been acting about Syo and I being friends-“
> 
> “I-I’m not sad ab-bout that, idiot!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did NOT mean for this update to take so long JGMFNDB  
> i finally got the new animal crossing and it’s like. a procrastination trap  
> anyways! this chapter’s title is from “i got no time” by the living tombstone n tbh. it’s got ishida vibes!

_Kiyotaka was panicking._

_No, that wasn’t a strong enough word._

_Kiyotaka was about to have a full blown nervous breakdown_

_His and Mondo’s anniversary was in a few days and he had absolutely no clue what to get him. He’d ask him upfront but Leon said that’d ruin the surprise._

_So, here he was. Pacing in the hallway and trying not to get it into his head that Mondo would hate him if he didn’t get the perfect gift-_

_“Taka-chi! What’s up?” Hiro yelled, walking over with Chihiro trailing right behind him. “Your vibes are all over the place, man. What’s bothering you?”_

_“Hey Taka!” Chihiro cut in, giving a small wave._

_Kiyotaka allowed himself a smile and waved back at her. “I apologize if my worrying distracted you two, it’s not that big of a deal.”_

_“Uhm, even if it’s not as big as a deal as you think it is, it’s fine for you to worry about it.” Chihiro said, worrying at her skirt._

_“Yeah! You can also ask for help from us! We’re your friends, dude.” Hiro exclaimed, grinning at Kiyotaka._

_Kiyotaka smiled back, nodding his head. “You are right! I can’t believe I’ve forgotten that!” He placed his hands on his hips, thinking. “Well...Mondo and I’s anniversary is coming up and I can’t come up with anything to get him!!”_

_Chihiro just raised an eyebrow at him. “Why don’t you ask him for ideas?”_

_“Leon told me it’d ruin the surprise…”_

_The girl giggled, hiding her smile behind her hand. Hiro smiled at Kiyotaka. “Dude, trust me, I’m best friends with the guy but you cannot take his advice like, at all.”_

_Kiyotaka hummed, furrowing his eyebrows. “I suppose you’re right…”_

_The group remained silent for a while, lost in thought._

_“Why don’t you make something for him?” Chihiro asked, shrugging her shoulders. “That way it’s from the heart, and it’d be a really good gift no matter what!”_

_“Chihiro…” Kiyotaka gasped. “That’s an amazing idea! I can’t believe I haven’t thought of it sooner! I’m such a fool…!”_

_Hiro placed a hand on Kiyotaka’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t think like that Taka-chi! You worrying so hard about what to get Mondo means, like, you must really love him, ya know?”_

_Kiyotaka blushed, nodding his head. “I suppose you’re right.”_

_Hiro gave him a thumbs up, turning to leave. “Alright! Me an’ Chihiro-chi gotta bounce! Good luck with the gift!”_

_“Thank you! Don’t forget about the homework tonight!!”_

_Kiyotaka smiled at the pair for a few moments. He made to leave to get started on his gift, but a voice interrupted him._

_“I can’t believe you were about to take advice from Leon.”_

_He turned and saw...something that wasn’t quite human. They had a feminine voice, it sounded familiar but_ he couldn’t quite place it. 

_They looked like a mess, blood pouring from different wounds on their body._

_“Ah,_ 4̶̘̜̻̟̈͋͊́̏͋Ḍ̵̱̬̬̓́̕7̷̩̦̱̊̏͛̂͠5̶̠́͘6̴̟̓̚͠B̵͚̠̯͉̈́̎͐̾͐7̸̟̣͇͘͝5̸̢̱̹̖͗̾̔7̸͔̤͈̠̘̃2̶̢̱͖͙̯̅̔̈̀͂͊6̷̻̥͚̈́̅̚F̶̫̮͐͝2̵̞̪̱͆̈́̂1̵̧̘͉̯̩͑ _well, I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures!” He grinned, coming over to them._

_They laughed distortedly._

What are they?

Who are they?

**Why can’t I remember you?**

Kiyotaka awoke with a start, nearly falling off the bed in the nurses room.

“Je-Jeez, that’s how you wak-ke up? N-Not what I-I-I expected from M-Mr. Perfect Honor Stud-dent.” A voice sounded from his right.

“Toko?”

Toko frowned, shuffling around. “You d-don’t gotta sound so-o disappointed…”

“I’m not disappointed!” Kiyotaka exclaimed. “I’m just..surprised? I got the impression that you didn’t seem to like me.”

“Do-on’t flatter youres-self. I-I just wanted to ask y-you something.” Toko grumbled, picking at her braids. “Apparently I m-missed the trial but th-hat stupid bear l-let me watch a video of i-it.”

She paused for a minute, like she was trying to collect her thoughts.

“Why d-did Syo...try to pro-protect you?”

“Huh?” Kiyotaka asked, very intelligently.

Toko huffed. “D-Don’t act stupid! They were act-acting like you guys w-were friends. Why would th-they do that? Why y-you?”

“I don’t...know?” Kiyotaka admitted. “They seemed to sympathize with me during the whole…’being framed for murder’ ordeal. But, they’re really nice when you get to know them, and I’m happy to call them my friend.”

Toko just frowned, furrowing her eyebrows. She seemed...distressed?

“We can be friends too, if you’d like.” He added.

Toko squeaked, whipping back around. “D-D-D-Don’t try to pi-ity me! Why w-would I wanna be f-friends with a stuck up try-hard like yo-ou!?”

“Well I just thought with how sad you’ve been acting about Syo and I being friends-“

“I-I’m not sad ab-bout that, idiot!!”

“And correct me if I’m wrong, but, you also seem...lonely?” He continued, causing Toko to pause, her mouth snapping shut. “It’s just, you never seem to hang around any of us, you only stay when Byakuya is there. I want...us to be friends, for all of us to be friends and stand united against Monokuma!” Kiyotaka finished, grinning.

Toko just frowned, looking at the ground. “God you’re r-ridiculously naive.” She sighed. “B-But...if you’re so de-esperate to be friends w-with me...I c-can’t stop yo-ou.”

Kiyotaka smiled warmly at her. “Are there any other questions you have about the trial?” He asked.

“Don’t l-look at me like th-a-at or people are going to think y-you’re madly in love wi-ith me!” Toko grumbled, playing with her braids. “A-Actually...I wanted to know..”

She looked up into his eyes, and Kiyotaka couldn’t deny that it made him uneasy.

“W-Why did you listen to t-the note Cel-T-Taeko made about the e-escape route? I didn’t think you were th-that stupid..plus you broke the nighttime r-rule.”

Oh...right.

He should’ve figured someone would ask eventually, but the answer was so foolish, so stupid, so-

So selfish.

And weak-

“I, well-“ Kiyotaka started, trying to cut off _that_ line of thinking. “I kind of figured what could’ve happened if I followed that note, and with everything going on, and Ishida, maybe I…”

 _Maybe I wanted_ that _to happen._

The two were silent for a moment, until-

“T-that’s stupid.” Toko said, quietly.

“Wh-

Toko tugged on her braids. “Let me-e finish!” She huffed, glaring at the other. “I-It’s stupid to try and th-throw your life a-away just because you’re s-sad.” She grunted. “N-No, I mean- Ugh! Mondo’s gone, alright? Nothing’s g-gonna bring him ba-ack, s-so...you should keep liv-ving your life and b-become someone...he and your-yourself could be p-proud of.”

Kiyotaka could feel his eyes start to water. “Toko…”

“D-Don’t twist this u-up in your head, I’m not doing th-this to be sentimental or w-whatever...I just, I-I understand what that feels like. It’s d-dumb, but t-that’s what…” Her face went blank. “It’s what some-you-someone..? S-Someone that...reminds me of y-you told me that once...and…” She looked away from him. “I-It’s what friends do, cheering eac-chother up, right?”

Kiyotaka smiled, wiping at his eyes with his hands. “I haven’t had any before this started, but I believe that is what friends do.” Toko turned back around, her eyebrows furrowed. “Thank you very much, Toko.”

“W-Whatever…”

“In return, you can come to me if you’re having any trouble.”

“I’d literally ra-rather die.”

_It may be tough getting Toko to open up and to become true friends with her...but there’s no point in not trying._

Kiyotaka laughed awkwardly, about to reply, when,

“Hey, Taka! It’s time to go- oh, Toko?”

Aoi popped through the door of the nurse's room, her grin turning into a confused expression.

Toko grimaced, sighing. “G-God why does everyone so-ound like they’re s-so disappointed when they see m-me.”

“I’m not! I’m just kinda shocked to see you visiting Taka!” Aoi waved her arms around, entering the room.

“W-Well I’m not.” Toko mumbled, quickly walking out of the room.

Aoi just sighed, taking Toko’s place next to Kiyotaka. “I seriously don’t know what her deal with me is.”

“Your personalities seem to clash a lot, maybe you two need to spend some time together in the sauna.” Kiyotaka smiled.

A laugh shot of Aoi’s mouth. “Yeah! Maybe- hey, wait, you’re distracting me!” She whined, though the smile on her face remained. “It’s time to get to the dining hall!”

Kiyotaka sat up, admittedly a little excited to get up and move around. “Do I have to take this with me or…?” He gestured to the IV beside him.

“Ah!” Aoi exclaimed. “Kyoko said you should be fine without it as long as you start eating regularly, so, do you mind if I?” She put two fingers on the needle in his arm and he nodded, looking away as she pulled it out. “There!”

She helped Kiyotaka out of the uncomfortable bed, the feeling coming back to his legs. Just as he got both his feet on the ground, Aoi yanked his arm, causing him to fall forward.

“I-“

“Careful, Taka! Don’t want ya to hurt yourself!” She glanced at the camera above them before whispering in his ear. “Kyoko and Makoto found Alter Ego, they’re safe.”

Kiyotaka understood, and slightly nodded his head. “My apologies, Hina!” Too loud. “Let us get to the dining hall before we are late!”

_You’re still terrible at lying._

As they left, Kiyotaka could’ve sworn he saw an all white figure in the corner of his eye, but when he looked back, they were gone.

But the place he saw them seemed to be...glitching in and out of existence.

He rubbed at his eyes once, and it was back to normal.

_I must still be tired…_

That still didn’t ease Kiyotaka at all.

The walk to the dining hall felt like it took hours, but it also felt as if they got there in just five seconds.

Kiyotaka at least took a little humor in the fact that they still arrived before Makoto.

“We’re here!” Aoi exclaimed, more or less dragging Kiyotaka by the arm. He didn’t mind, though.

Kyoko and Sakura’s heads turned towards them, a smile on the latter.

“It’s nice to see you up again, Ishimaru.” Sakura said. 

“Thank you, Sakura. It’s nice to see you again, too.”

Aoi grinned at her, pulling Kiyotaka towards the two empty seats in between the girls, sitting them both down. “I think he’s feeling a lot better! You won’t believe who I saw visiting him when I got there-“

“Sorry I’m late! I slept through the announcement!” Makoto announced, rushing into the dining hall.

“Makoto! Don’t run! You may hurt yourself!” Kiyotaka shouted, twisting in his seat.

Makoto grinned sheepishly, slowing his pace. “Sorry Taka- but also hey! Again, sorry- I’m, uh, kinda out of sorts right now.” He took a seat next to Kyoko, but she turned away from him.

Kiyotaka found it just a little odd, but figured it’s not something he should stick his nose in.

Aoi looked around the table before sighing, her head falling slightly. “So now there's only five of us here…”

The mood around them seemed to shift.

“That’s just a third of the people we first had.” Kiyotaka stated, grimacing.

_It feels like it was only yesterday that Mondo and I were in here, surprising everyone with our newfound friendship…_

Kyoko nodded, her mouth a straight line. “Loneliness has become commonplace.”

“That’s true…” Sakura agreed.

Kiyotaka looked down, the previous deaths flashing through his mind. _First Sayaka, then Junko, and Leon, and Chihiro...and...Mondo...and then just two days ago, Hiro, Hifumi, and Taeko._

He couldn’t help but feel like death was following them everywhere they went.

“Okay! In that case, let's eat till we pass out!” Aoi exclaimed, a fire in her eyes. “Everyone is looking so scary right now! It's gotta be cuz you're all fighting on empty stomachs, right? If you fill your belly, I'm sure you'll all cheer up! So, let's eat! Let's fry up some fish and donuts and eat till we can't stand up!” 

“That’s the spirit, Hina! Let’s do it!” Kiyotaka shouted back, feeling his motivation come back from Aoi’s enthusiasm.

“Heck yeah!”

Kyoko smiled slightly at the two. “The ‘till we can't stand up’ part is a problem. After we're done, we need to go explore.”

Sakura nodded, a smile also gracing her face. “That's right. After the class trial, new areas should have opened up- though we put off exploring until Ishimaru could join us.”

_You made them wait._

Kiyotaka huffed, shaking the thoughts out of his head. “Thank you all for that.”

“Plus, we still have _them_.” Kyoko emphasized. “We don't have to give in to despair just yet.”

“She's right... We have to plan ahead and think about the future!” Makoto agreed, smiling.

“Yeah, yeah! Think happy thoughts! Not deathy thoughts!”

“Yes! Like what we will be doing once we get out of here!” Kiyotaka exclaimed. “I, for one, can't wait to get back to my studies.”

_And maybe...I’ll get in touch with Mondo’s gang, wherever they are._

“Honestly, normal school does sound really appealing right now.” Aoi giggled.

Kiyotaka smiled, his hands fiddling with Mondo’s jacket sleeves. He wondered what going to an actual school would’ve been like with him.

It wouldn’t be dull, if the fantasies in his dreams are any indication.

Kyoko hummed, moving to stand up. “Well, I should go get some food for us-“

The dining hall doors suddenly slammed open, causing everyone’s heads to whip around to the entrance.

“S-Stop looking at me all at on-once! I’m n-not some museum ex-exhibit to ogle at!” Toko shouted, staying frozen in place.

Makoto was the first to recover, his hands waving around. “Sorry!! We just didn’t expect you to be here!”

Toko grumbled, trudging into the room. “Well, I-I figured I might as well join your gu-guys weird b-breakfast meeting.”

“Do you want to join us at our table?” Sakura asked, moving to pull out a chair.

“I-I-“ Toko struggled before looking away, sighing. “I wanna e-eat at a different ta-table for now…”

Kiyotaka smiled sadly, though he understood. “That’s okay, Toko. You can join us when you feel more comfortable.”

She just nodded, moving to a table just a few feet away from them.

“Well,” Kyoko said, moving once more. “I’ll be going to get our food, now. Do you want me to bring you anything, Fukawa?”

“I-If you’re so desperate fo-for my love...sure…”

Kiyotaka laughed awkwardly as Kyoko went to get their food, being drawn into a conversation with the others.

It was nice to have peaceful moments like this in these times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story is starting to diverge more from canon beyond just taka surviving!  
> also, plot
> 
> also happy pride month especially to gay icon kiyotaka ishimaru <3


	14. author’s note

KGKDJSH i’m so sorry to anyone that thought this was a chapter update

but it is an update? in a way?

basically. i don’t really like my writing or characterization of taka in this fic now. which makes sense because this whole thing got started nearly a year ago and you know! opinions change.

there’s also a lot of story elements of my own and from canon that i want to change so basically i thought. why not rewrite it?

i’ll probably wait till i’ve rewritten all the current chapters to update them so it won’t be choppy or inconsistent to anyone new to the story

i do wanna keep the basics that made this story you know. my story. the same- like the dream sequences and taka bonding with the other character’s

i’ll also probably change the trials a whole lot because that was a pain to copy down JFJDHSB

but i just wanted everyone to know! instead of keeping everyone in the dark

thank you to everyone who’s stuck with this story so far and hopefully i’ll see you soon with a more improved version of it

**Author's Note:**

> end notes!  
> just wanna say thank you to my friend zira who’s helped with a lot of this fic and kept encouraging me 🥺


End file.
